Talara Nolan
Bio
I am a single parent to a 4 year old girl and live with her in Canada. I love working out and have lost over 45 lbs over time. I would love to share what I have learned and all the things that have worked for me over time.
Stories (107/0)
When children start to grow up
When my daughter was little, and honestly most of her life, I always have done everything for my daughter. I never regretted it. She is most likely going to be my only child. So for me it was my only chance. Though as she is getting older, I know that her independence is also important. She needs to know that she can do things for herself. So I have been getting her to do more and more things for herself. I realized, and always have, that it would mean that she would pull away from me a little bit. It was something that I have been prepared for. Though I always thought that we were very close. I guess I thought that we could overcome it, because we were so close. At least for a few years. I figured it would be a few years before she started pulling away. At least until she was a teenager. Yet here I am. She is only 7, and yet I feel like she is pulling away. Already she doesn't want to listen to me. I am finding myself getting frustrated.
By Talara Nolan7 days ago in Families
They always return when you are just moving on
I have been working hard on moving on. To move past the trauma of what happened last year. The feeling of emptiness and loneliness isn't helping me to heal. Even though it is tempting to try and fill my emptiness with someone else, I know that is the last thing that I should do. I am really trying to do this the healthy way, the best way that I can. So many people jump into another relationship before they have healed from the last one. Bringing with them all the baggage from the past person. That is the last thing that I want to do. In the long run, I know that I am right. But it's hard. It's hard to be so lonely, it's hard to try to repair what is so broken. It's hard to gain my confidence back. There is a constant thought in my mind that I am not good enough, that no one will love me, and all the evil things that my ex said to me. I know that I shouldn't try to heal my problems with someone else. Though there are moments that I wish that I would as it would make me feel better. Moving on though.
By Talara Nolan15 days ago in Motivation
How can we raise our children in a safe way?
There once was a time when most households only had one income. When most households only needed one income. Yes, this was a time that most of those households were married couples with kids. Now this version of the world seems like a dream, or a fantasy. It makes me wonder if this is just Canada, or the whole world? Is it just the reality of living in Canada?
By Talara Nolan21 days ago in Families
Trying to quiet the voices that have given me depression
There is a darkness in my soul, in my heart, that I can't seem to shake. I am in the part of my healing journey, that is lonely and alone. The part of the healing journey where I wish things were different. When I wonder if I made a mistake. I need to remind myself that what really happened and the reason why I feel the way that I do. That is the hard part of my healing journey. I don't have a lot of friends anymore. When I got into my past relationship, he did a good job of isolating me. Of making sure that I had no friends. So I feel like I have no one to talk to now. Which is funny as I live with so many people. However, my family is toxic and not very understanding. I never felt like they believed in me, understood me, or were really there for me. Because of this, and because of the trauma I have been though, I find it very hard to open up now. When you don't open up, it's hard to feel a good, strong connection with people. I know part of the problem is me, but I find it hard to fix it. In my head, I have opened up and build connections with people. But at the moment I freeze, and close myself off again. Afraid that if I open up to another person that I will get hurt again.
By Talara Nolanabout a month ago in Longevity
How much is okay to tell your children?
I was happy to shelter my daughter from what happened with her father. She still doesn't know that he cheated on me, that he hit me, that he put me down. In fact, when we first left him, she said that he was nice to me, but wasn't nice to her. That is why she thought that we left him. I was happy to have it that way. I know better than anyone the damage that can be caused when children get involved in adult issues. When I was growing up, my father was a drug addict and was very abusive to my mother. I remember it all. It has caused a lot of damage to me, issues that I am still trying to fix. My mother, for clear reasons, hated my father. I am very much my father's daughter, and so her hatred of him did damage to my self-confidence. I so badly wanted to not make sure that damage did not go to my daughter.
By Talara Nolanabout a month ago in Families
Do you know what your dream life looks like?
Recently I joined a 6-week challenge that someone I follow on TikTok started. The first thing to do was to write down what your dream life looks like. There were very specific questions to answer. Questions like how many days do you work, what do you for work, how many hours do you work, and so on. What it did for me was to make me imagine what I really want, how I really want to spend my time. I was able to get a clear image of my dream life, and I want I really want for my life. When was the last time you really thought about your dream life? Do you know how to answer that question?
By Talara Nolanabout a month ago in Motivation
The problem with trying to set up boundaries
Lately, I have hit my breaking point. I realize how much that I take from everyone in my life. Living with my family has really forced me to look at my life, at everything that I have to deal with. I think that it is because of everything I am putting up with that forced me to see what I put up with. Always being the 'good child' growing up, it has been put into me that I need to accept it. Don't say anything to ruffle feathers, and take whatever treatment that people give me. It was put into me that I should never say anything negative or against someone. So that I don't upset anyone, so that everyone thinks that everything is fine. I also have been through so much that as long as don't say anything, then I can't be hurt, I can't be put down, I can't be made fun of. So I now see that I have been putting up with whatever people do to me for a long time. Always accepting it.
By Talara Nolan2 months ago in Motivation
The unshakable feeling of depression
Lately I have this unshakable feeling of depression. I am not physically tired or drained, but mentally. It's an odd feeling to have. No matter what I do, I can't seem to snap myself out of it. I just have this feeling of not being motivated. I'm not motivated to do anything. There are times that I feel frustrated that I am not doing more to accomplish my goals. However, I also don't feel motivated to do anything towards those goals. I'm not sure how to escape this cycle that I have found myself in. It's almost like I am running around on a hamster wheel. There have been times in my life when I have felt depressed. However, I was always able to knock myself out of it. This time has been hard for me to do. I'm not sure how to do it.
By Talara Nolan2 months ago in Motivation
What I learned from being abused
I always said that I would never be in the position to be in an abusive relationship. That I would never put up with it. Somehow, I found myself in the exact position that I swore I would never get into. Looking back, I can see the red flags that I decided to ignore before we moved into together. All the things that I should have paid attention to, or that I shouldn't have let go. I trusted him. He did a good job at making me think that we were in the same mindset. So I believed that he wanted the same things that I wanted. Yes, I should have noticed all the things, but it's easy to say that now. Once I moved there, I did the number one thing that a woman should never do. I let myself be isolated, and it happened so quickly. So when things started to go down hill, I thought that I didn't have any options to get out. I was trying to make my family work. Trying to give my daughter the family that she deserved. The number one thing that I forgot is that it is better for a child to come from a broken home than an unhappy one. Because he was my daughter's father, I tolerated things that I would never tolerate. Such as him drinking every day, or smoking, when I hate both of those things. When the abuse started, I was still so shocked. The first time he hit me was when he woke me up in the middle of the night. I was shocked because I was sleeping, and because I never thought that he would do that. Regardless of any weaknesses that we had in our relationship, or that he had, I always thought that I was safe with him. Of course, until I wasn't.
By Talara Nolan2 months ago in Motivation
My frustration with the school system
I don't understand what they want parents to do. What to expect from us? I understand that they are our children. However, I send her to school for them to teach her. So if my daughter is so far behind, then isn't it their fault? If it is up to me to teach her, then I would just home school her. I don't home school her because I want them to teach her. I also believe that in the importance of standardized schooling. So where did my frustration start this year?
By Talara Nolan2 months ago in Education
How meditation and manifestation changed my life
Recently, I started a challenge called the 555 challenge. The point of this challenge is to help you level up your life spritality, physically and financially. Everything happens in 5's, since 555 means a lot for transformation. There are things that you have to do everyday. Everything happens in 5's. For example tidy up for 5 minutes. Two of the challenges were to meditate for 5 minutes every morning, and to write 5 affirmations every morning. When I made this commiment, I wasn't sure what was going to happen. I just knew that I needed something to help me level up. I considered doing the 75 hard challenge. However, when I heard this challenge I knew that it was more the thing that I needed right now.
By Talara Nolan2 months ago in Motivation
What do you really want to teach your kids?
I saw a TikTok recently about a lady that decided to take her son out of school. She has decided to start homeschooling her son. This decision is because she feels like her son is not learning what he needs to learn at school. Listening to this woman, I understand what she was saying. When we really think about the school system, and the world that we live in, we have to consider how the future will be. Are our kids growing up with all the knowledge that they really need in life? Will they be able to succeed? We have all heard many stories about how young people don't know how to do basic things. Such as not knowing how to make a doctor's appointment, or not knowing what it means when someone says DOB. We want our children to have the best chance in life to be able to succeed, and to become anything they want to be. I want my daughter to have the best chance in life, more of a chance than I have ever had. So that when she grows up, she can do anything and everything that she wants to do. Watching videos from so many people that are now homeschooling their kids, has made me consider what I really want my daughter to be learning. If she is being given the best chance in life. I think we all need to consider if there is a better way to teach our kids.
By Talara Nolan2 months ago in Families