Andrew Johnston
Bio
Educator, writer and documentarian based out of central China. Catch the full story at www.findthefabulist.com.
Stories (73/0)
In Honor of my 50th Rejection from a Major Spec Magazine
Earlier this week, I was rejected by Fantasy & Science Fiction Magazine for the 50th time. Truthfully, I'm not sure if this qualifies as "impressive." Most people would have given up by now, I imagine; some don't, and never will, content to smash their skulls against that particular wall until there's nothing left but fragments. Others, I must assume, are far more reasonable.
By Andrew Johnston3 years ago in Geeks
A Wounded Sky
The sky's been running down my walls for the last week, just these weird regal purple trickles of oily space that squirm their way down any surface that can hold them. You can't clean those up with a rag, that's for sure – it's dangerous just to touch them when they look like that, I can glean that much even without extensive testing. At least they aren't slicing up my walls, and in fact the chemists on the news tell us that they're very close to a solution to clean the atmosphere off of softer surfaces. Well, I'll believe the bastards when they actually deliver. Meanwhile, I've got these big blotches of heaven matter all over my place that I don't dare touch.
By Andrew Johnston3 years ago in Fiction
To the Late Mother Who Gave Me Away
I hate to start on a selfish note, but I really do feel like I was cheated here, cheated out of some grand emotional moment that was my due. After six years of digging through filing cabinets, rereading the same legal documents ad nauseum, tracking down notaries and sending off papers that just got sent back to me...for all that to end in nothing feels wrong.
By Andrew Johnston3 years ago in Families
This Somber Road, My Last Companion
Let a spindly line of murky water drip onto a barren patch of prairie earth, watch it suck in the dust, and it'll look almost like an old highway forgotten by its masters - that's where our story begins, on a forsaken highway leading off to an unsettled horizon. Come down a little closer and the ants and bugs crawling around that sorry little trickle start to look like vehicles, mechanical workhorses trotting off toward that horizon on bald tires with the hot wind eking its way through cracks in the windshield. Go down further, and you'll start to see people - the masters of those machines, and others with only their two feet for guidance and a pair of good thumbs that maybe they can use to claim a ride for a little while. Each of those people has a story that's nothing less than his soul, and if you ask with a gentle tongue and levy a fair offer, he might just share it with you.
By Andrew Johnston3 years ago in Fiction
A Brief Guide to ESL Schools in Mainland China
As the world opens up again, there are new opportunities for people who wish to live and work abroad. Teaching is always a popular way to do this, perhaps even more so now that English-as-a-second-language has shed some of its unprofessional "gap year" reputation.
By Andrew Johnston3 years ago in Education
A Psychologist Called Me A Sociopath When I Was 4
The place was hunter green and tan, and everything was too big - that's my memory of the office, all I can drum up through the haze of early childhood. No one bothered to tell me where we were or why - concepts that would only be lost on a four year-old. So I busied myself as best I could until it was my turn to go into the office, the smaller one.
By Andrew Johnston3 years ago in Confessions
The Splendor and Sorrow of Small Press Publishing
To most would-be authors, there are only two routes to publication - get an agent and go for a big publisher or self-publish. But there is an alternative - the small press. Small presses can be a great opportunity for a writer who wants the prestige of being published, but there are some things you need to understand before contacting them.
By Andrew Johnston3 years ago in Journal
Diplomatic Etiquette and the Alien Menace
Welcome to the Exterran Federation Guide to Human-Kro'dyl Relations. Perhaps you are reading this because you are an Envoy considering a xenodiplomatic post, or a businessman seeking practical advice on alien relations, or a member of the public curious about this strange new species. The members of the Kro'dyl Dominion have a reputation for belligerence, but they are also a species marred by cruel and inaccurate rumors as well as simple cultural misunderstandings. These guides are intended to set the record straight on this species while also helping the reader navigate their culture with caution and sensitivity.
By Andrew Johnston3 years ago in Fiction
I Swear I Saw the Whole Thing
Fine, man, don't believe me - here I go out of my way and come to you with a story that could change the way you see the world forever and you just brush me off like some lunatic in the street. I listen to all your boring, pointless stories and don't complain, but here I see a miracle and you shrug it off. No, not a miracle, something better than a miracle because anyone can do this. I'm talking about turning the impossible into the possible, and you're going to be a little prick about it. Well, fine.
By Andrew Johnston3 years ago in Fiction
There's One Just Like it Everywhere
"Tell me a story, stranger." The guy on the opposite stool was a typical weekday drunk, full of good humor at the pain of others and caustic remarks at nothing at all. That he was polite to me was an oddity; perhaps he sensed that I was different, that I was less tethered to this place and its vices than those of his usual company.
By Andrew Johnston3 years ago in Fiction
The Gun That Didn't Fire
The self-firing gun had a faulty trigger - so the experts assumed, for it could be nothing else. Acru-12 was infallible in the art of combat, thus his failure to execute a mission that was well within his operational parameters must have been a simple mechanical fault. It was a jam in his feeding mechanism, a badly calibrated reticle, a glitchy sensor, an overstressed servo. When a thorough check of his various components came back clean, they merely upgraded their assumption.
By Andrew Johnston3 years ago in Futurism
Second Chance, Stolen to Order
Six solid years of ferrying mysterious packages for shady people, and that was the first and only time any of them insisted on shackling the parcel to my wrist. My contact was a jerk about it, too, and not just by accident like with some of these guys. He made a point to fasten the handcuff way too tight around my wrist and I could feel the muscles throbbing gently in time with my pulse the whole time. Of course I complained, but the bastard wouldn't adjust it as much as a smidge. Stickler for the contract, that one, and the contract said that the cuffs didn't come off under any circumstances until after delivery. “We pay you well enough to put up with a little discomfort,” he said, and I couldn't argue the point – the customer is always right and all that nonsense, even (maybe especially) when the customer is an asshole. And usually, it’s the assholes who pay the best, at least when they’re self-aware.
By Andrew Johnston3 years ago in Futurism