7 signs that show you're with a truly real person in a relationship

When you start dating someone, they try hard to impress you. It takes time to really know them. Even later, you might not be sure if they're real. I've been upset to discover someone wasn't who I thought. So, I wondered, how can you know if your partner is genuine? After thinking and talking to people, I found 7 signs. Luckily, my current partner has them all, and I want to help you find someone like that too.

1. They do what they say and say what they do

You might have experienced this: hearing nice words that later turn out to be empty. It's a sad realization that can make you doubt love. So, before you trust someone's words, see if their actions match. A friend of mine faced this when he dated a woman who talked about being super ethical. She said she disliked gossip and valued privacy. But then, he was surprised to learn she shared something private about him without asking. Clearly, she was better at talking than actually acting respectfully. Learn from his experience and make sure words match actions.

2. They embrace your flaws and imperfections

None of us are perfect. We have our own unique qualities, our little weaknesses, and habits that might bother others. But in a relationship with a real person, those imperfections aren't just okay, they're welcomed and even cherished. Why? Because they too have their own imperfections — and since they're kind to themselves, they're kind to you too. They know it's part of being human, and they'd never push you to be anything more than yourself. I'm really grateful to be with a man who's great at this. I tend to get worried easily, even about small things. Instead of ignoring it or getting upset, my partner takes the time to understand why I feel that way and how he can help me. He doesn't view it as a problem to solve, but as a part of who I am. This understanding is a sign of being real. It's not about finding a partner who's perfect, but finding someone who truly sees and loves you just the way you are.

3. They care deeply and understand your feelings

Another sign of a real person in a relationship is when they truly care and understand. What does this mean in real life? It's when they take time to connect with you and get your feelings, even if they haven't been through the same things. For instance, I recall hanging out with a friend and her partner. She was talking about her dad being sick. Neither her partner nor I had experienced that, but I tried to listen. What really amazed me was how much her partner cared. Instead of just saying "I'm here for you," he truly listened, asked thoughtful questions, and felt her pain. He didn't just talk, he showed it with his actions. Being with someone who has this caring and understanding is like having a safe place in a storm. You know your feelings matter, your pain is recognized, and you're never alone, even in tough times.

4. They have a strong sense of right and wrong

Next, a truly real person has a clear sense of what's right and wrong, both in and outside the relationship. To explain, I remember something that happened with two friends who were a couple. The guy was my coworker and friend, and the woman was just a personal friend. I had shared something very private with her and asked her to keep it to herself because I didn't want our coworkers to know. Her partner asked her about it once and got mad when she didn't tell him. They argued about it, and she could have told him my secret to end the fight, but she kept her word to me. I only found out when I later told him the story, and he said, "So that's what she wouldn't tell me." At that moment, I really admired my female friend because she proved to be so genuine and morally strong.

5. They honor your boundaries

Respecting boundaries is really important in a good relationship. It's also a clear sign of how genuine your partner is. This kind of respect shows they understand your personal space and uniqueness. I remember a time in my own relationship when this was tested. We were talking about our pasts, and there were things I didn't want to discuss yet. Instead of pushing me or asking too much, my partner respected my choice and simply said, “When you're ready, I'm here to listen.” That moment meant a lot to me. It wasn't about what he wanted to know; it was about what I felt okay with. He saw my boundaries and followed them without any problem. This respect builds trust and creates a safe place where you can be yourself without worry. It's a lovely way to show your partner's authenticity is not just about them, but about truly valuing the real you.

6. They share their sensitive side with you

Being open and vulnerable with others can feel scary. But when someone is truly themselves around you, it becomes easier. They don't mind showing their true feelings, insecurities, or even parts they might consider 'not strong.' They trust you to see them without any masks. I have a memory with my current partner when he talked about his career fears. It was clearly a heavy topic for him, and he hadn't talked about it with anyone else. He looked at me, paused, and then started talking. His words were honest, full of emotion, and real. He was revealing something he usually keeps hidden, even from close friends. In that moment, I felt a strong connection. It wasn't just about the topic; it was about his honesty and openness. If you're with someone who does this, remember, being vulnerable works both ways. You need to be ready to listen, understand, and support them without judging.

7. They inspire your personal growth

Being with a truly real person means they not only see your special qualities but also cheer you on to become better and thrive as your own self. They don't just look at where you are now, but where you aim to go. They know that relationships involve both partners growing and supporting each other. For instance, I always liked writing but never really took it seriously. My partner noticed my untapped dream and kept pushing me to become a writer. He'd leave kind notes, give helpful feedback, and surprise me with writing gifts. His belief in me boosted my confidence, and I started writing professionally. It was more than just achieving a dream; it was having someone who recognized my potential and gently pushed me toward it with love.

Embracing your real selves, together

You've learned the 7 signs of being with a truly genuine person in a relationship. Hopefully, you see many of these in your partner—or if you're not with someone now, you'll know what to watch for. But here's my top tip for creating an honest relationship and finding an authentic partner: Begin with yourself. Strive to be your genuine self, whether you're single or in a relationship. This will naturally inspire those around you to be authentic too.