Parahoy Ahoy!

My father was right. There was a peace in the middle of the ocean like no other. A chance to look at night skies unblemished by light pollution. Just a pure net of darkened hues pinned up by stars of various luminosity and size. It was magic I’d never truly experienced before. There, accessible from my own balcony, were both the lullaby of ocean waves and sky full of stars to wish me to sleep. He told me stories about nights at sea, but he didn’t mention how beautiful it was to wake up to a morning sky over a calm ocean. There was a peace I needed waking up each day at sea, and that peace is part of why going on a cruise with my best friends will always be my favorite vacation.

It’s not easy for me to leave my house for long periods at a time. Going to amusement parks for the day now and then was already tough. Being autistic with a fixation on amusement parks, I had to fight a battle regularly to truly enjoy them. I am often too fearful of places, faces and most often, judgement. I’m afraid of doing something to cause attention in ways that I don’t want, or to be made fun of because of it. Unwanted attention can be terrifying for me, and as a socially anxious person, vacations can seem light a total nightmare. However, surrounded by the right support system, I’ve been able to venture on some cool journies. Like seeing favorites actresses in plays or hitting up those much fixated on amusement parks.

Another fixation is a band I’ve loved for 16 plus years now, Paramore. Paramore had done previous music cruises that I managed to get a spot on. I never thought I would go on a cruise, much less see my favorite band on one. The power of love I guess, right? My admiration for the band and my eagerness to get to experience something so unique pushed me to get on the first two cruises. I often watched the shows from the balconies or above the stage area to not be too crowded, but longed to be closer. Parahoy, as the cruise was called, really listened to its disabled cruisers and our needs. I’m also an ambulatory wheelchair user because though I can walk, I need to take breaks often and sometimes need to stop walking or standing altogether.

On Parahoy 3, one of the accessible areas was right alongside the pit, so I could sit comfortably and still be close to my favorite band. I wish more concerts and experiences did the same thing and let there be disabled spaces near the stage regularly. At so many shows I’m placed near the back or the assigned disabled seating is somewhere random. Parahoy gave me the chance to just be like everyone else for once, surrounded by my closest friends and beloved wife. I sang along loudly and proudly, and didn’t for once feel isolated because I am disabled. I felt like every other soul in that crowd, free to be myself to the music.

I shared a cabin with two of my best friends and my wife. On that balcony we laughed, we cried and we even listened to random bands play through the night. We watched the sunset and even watched the sun rise. We saw so many stars it seemed unreal, especially coming from two urban lightscapes light Los Angeles and New York City. In the quiet of night, we just sat under the stars and reflected. Though we had known each other for years, those moments on the cruise really bonded us for life. We would hit up the buffet at the most random times for soft serve, pizza or even bacon. We were treated to a lovely steakhouse meal and for the night felt like royalty. I don’t ruminate on any travel stress or booking drama that can come with vacations (ours did have its share, I’ll admit) but all I truly see in my mind when I think back on Parahoy…is being genuinely happy to be on an adventure with people I love who love me back. People who accept me for who I am, help make spaces accessible and make sure I don’t miss out on incredible experiences just like the Parahoy cruises.

There are days even now, six years later, when I reflect on those few days are sea with a grin on my face. A music festival at sea, filled with games, good times, great food and so much more. It was a trip made of pure magic and it was only made more magical by where I got to go with them after - Disney World!