A Comedy Misadventure

I have never had a very good sense of direction, and I can second guess my initial decisions and leave the right place to wander off somewhere, only to end up racing back to where I started, sweaty and unnerved. The panic that came with the getting lost is still with me, too.

When I was 8 years old, my mother began to take me into town every Saturday morning for piano lessons. I was to walk to the library after my lesson, take my time to find a book and then meet my mother in the parking lot. I NEVER found my way easily. Not once. I would wander around and finally find the library, run and grab a book and rush out to find my mother, pretending that I'd had a leisurely browse through the stacks. I never confessed my ineptitude. It was maybe 5-6 blocks in a tiny town. I knew I had to pass the Catholic church, but after that? All bets were off which way I should turn. Years later and nothing has improved. So picture me in a big city, or an airport, train station, or driving. My daughter has learned that one of the main reasons I leave early for any appointment is that there's a good chance I'll get lost on the way and I need the extra time to find my way. I am a person who uses GPS navigation for nearly every trip.

I've been in Beijing for eight months, and finally yesterday I left on the high speed train to Qinhuangdao and the beach. I got a Didi to the right train station, found the right screening line, and the woman shook her head after looking at my passport and waved me away as I dug for my translator app on my phone to ask her why I was being turned away. A man in uniform asked where I was going, the woman in the booth yelled something at him, and waved me through. Okay. Waiting area for the train. Got it. Waited for boarding, got to the gate and the guard again shook his head. Each time he entered my passport number, the computer showed the big red x. Denied. He held my passport in one hand and my phone with my ticket booking in the other, then shrugged and waved me onto the train. Whew! I ran all the way to the wrong end of the train, and turned around and ran to the other end to find my car.

The train trip was great. They gave us water and snacks. I had dried peas, dried fish, raisins and a thumb sized piece of soft fluffy dough. That was cool. I snacked and watched the acres and acres of planted fields fly past and ate my snacks.

I got off at the right stop, wandered around until I found the street that had a big Taxi sign, and called for a Didi. She called me on the phone, but I didn't know what she was saying. She was trying to tell me she was across the street. I know that because a group of people started yelling at me and waving their arms. Oh. I gave her a name and address, and she dropped me at the wrong hotel. The concierge put me in a taxi and said it would be 16 kuai. Great. Off we go. 30 minutes later, he drops me at the door of the right hotel. I pay him, go to the lobby and the taxi driver came looking for me to say 60 kuai, not 16. "Sorry!" I say, and pay.

I registered at the front desk, (they took my picture, scanned all the pages in my passport, got my phone number and address in China and held onto my passport for a time) I got to my room and the lights didn't work. I got help and they showed me I have to use my keycard to turn on the lights. I went to the buffet for dinner, which was very nice, and the dispenser of hot milk tea and I had a fight, and it frothed up and over the cup's edge. The woman that was bussing the tables helped me out as the chefs behind the counter laugh really hard. Fair enough.

Return trip? I got back to Beijing, but as they scanned my passport when exiting the train station I was asked to step aside. Again. People went past and time went by and I was beginning to wonder what would happen next, when a higher ranking officer came and stared at me, then at my passport, and then he waved me through.

Off to find my didi driver, who was parked somewhere a few blocks away and didn't want to get any closer to the train station. So I walked through the downpour to meet the guy. Now most of the didi's have been nice, newer cars. This one? Beater car is the best way I can describe it. Manual transmission, manual windows, mats and rugs over the absolutely worn out seat. The traffic was horrible, so he took side streets and weaved his way around Beijing, and each time he stopped and started upshifting again, it would grind and I thought "This transmission is just going to fall out."

An hour and a half later, I got back home.

People wonder why I don't go exploring more often....