to the standoff outside the bus stop
A poem seared in my memory
I remember the anger boiling in my stomach
I never truly understood the meaning of an emotion physically in motion until that moment
But in that moment
blood thicken and churned
skin rustled like bracing-for-it metal
There was a vileness forming in the pit of bile
And I was fearful
Truly fearful
That if I crossed that line
If my fist would make contact
with your skin
If my anger would make contact
with your rage
I would not be able to stop myself
Because you
Could not stop yourself from dinner table insults
Smashing plates as metaphors for putting your foot down
Because you
Had to make my sweet friend choose between disappearing themselves just to shield their younger brother from all
your anger and
your fear and
your rage
Because you could not care
about your child’s life as it interfered with your ideas
And you
Were not there in their broken and bent and absolutely terrified-to-exist moments
Not when we stuffed as much of their existence into trash bags
As if all that was left of them was just the scraps you didn’t yet get to
We ran through the house
Panic attack fuelling survival
Just to grab onto pieces that hadn’t yet been eviscerated by your madness
I can’t even recall the escape route
But I remember every stitch and word to try to piece together what was left
Of your kid
Of my friend…
So when I stood there boiling over
Venom coating teeth
Seething eyes ready to kill
I thought to myself
That I might really cross that line of no return
Because you
You changed something in me
Because
I will never stop
fighting against abusive pricks like you
-
This poem was originally intended for QVV’s Queer Sensory challenge, but I just went on a flashback ride with it and I don’t even know if it works. Trauma always lingers. But it’s also empowering to finally write out something that happened almost 10 years ago.
Check out the challenge below:
About the Creator
Oneg In The Arctic
A storyteller and poet of arctic adventures, good food, identity, mental health, and more.
Co-founder of Queer Vocal Voices
Some other rad writers to check out:
James ❄️ TheDaniWriter ❄️ Melissa
RiverJoy ❄️ J. Delaney-Howe ❄️
Water is Life ✊
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Reader insights
Outstanding
Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!
Top insights
Heartfelt and relatable
The story invoked strong personal emotions
Excellent storytelling
Original narrative & well developed characters
On-point and relevant
Writing reflected the title & theme
Comments (21)
raw and honest...hope you never have to go (or almost go) outside of your character in a situation like that again. Love the loyalty and protection for your friend.
Congratulations on your top story
Congratulations for top story lovely very well written powerful stuff
Oooooofffffff! Powerful stuff. Visceral! Love it!
Congrats on Top Story!🥳🥳🥳
Oof. Could feel that blistering rage. This was epic.
really powerful, love and best wishes to your friend
It works. I hate ignorant mean people. You wrote it instead of destroying the abuser. Nice work and I feel bad for your friend.
Congratulations on such an impressive piece
Damn this was so real and genuine. I'm Blown away from your utter honest and vivid piece here my friend 😍
Top Story? Of course! 🏅
Yeahhh! Top story 🖤
It is all so raw, especially that rage. I hope your friend is okay. 💛
Congrats on the TS
That was powerful. I could feel the anger seething through. Really well written.
Very powerful.
It works, Oneg. It most definitely works. Everything from the heartache to the murderous rage welling up from deep within, desperate to escape, ever so viscerally described.
Wow. I just. Wow. This was visceral and harrowing and I felt every single word. Goddamn this is so good.
Felt the emotions!!! Awesome!!!💕❤️❤️
I felt this with you, again. I truly understand flashbacks, "PTSD" derived from family trauma, rejection and how it derails us over and over. Staying on track is not as easy as others make it sound. I am so sorry this happened yet I think it's important to write about pain. Hugs, ROCK
Oneg this left me shaking, I could feel the absolute fury jumping off the page. I am sorry you ever had to feel that and fir your friend too.