WORTH

Am I deserving of this hurt?
Every time it never fails.
The same salty tears trickle from my eyes.
Screaming my heart out.
Do you see?
Will you understand?
Am I deserving of this betrayal?
Every time the same lies, fall from different lips.
Stabbed so deep in my back; I could feel the tip of the blade, at my navel.
Wrenching with heartache, I still try my best.
Perfection is far from aim, but I gave you real.
Loyalty, Respect, I Sacrificed my all!

Am I deserving of this?
Nonchalant emotions, you won't even attempt to understand my pain!
Till one day the shoe fits you, Cinderella!
I asked, damn near begged; Yet here my emotions lie next to the Sunday morning trash.
I don't understand, what did I do to you to deserve this?
Do I even care to know, what you see in her, that you don't see in me?

Am I deserving of this?
They never just leave.
They have to break you first.
Laugh in your face and spit on your grave.
Fuck up what you thought was paradise, so busy fucking everything else in sight! To be desired by many, but only choose one.
To be vulnerable, be child-like, be your best friend, be your maid, be your porn star all for Nothing.

I stand here deserving of this. It was your fault, your lies, the words rolling from your lips speak otherwise.
"Deal with it"!
"I'm crazy"!
"I'm wrong"?!
"I need to chill"?
"I better Gone"?!

Rage building so warmly. The salty tears, dry to my skin.
Slowly pulling out the knifes they placed in me.
Mentally thinking of my fist, kissing your face, and sending the bitch your teeth!

Wait, Breathe!
You've been here before.
Pull yourself together?
What's different?
You loved harder, you trusted again, against your own intuition.
Or because the smile and words, hid so neatly, the beastly pine, that you would never be enough.

Am I deserving of this?
A never-ending cycle of uncertainty peaks a waterfall, of insecurity till nothing remains but insanity!

Am I deserving of this?