Will My Dreams Ever Come True?
I'm writing a poem about how I felt deeply inspired by Denji from Chainsaw Man & related to the struggles he has. CW- depression, thoughts of death, trauma, loneliness, ableism, and anxiety.
The world may be too much for me.
Am I doing okay?
I don't know…
Why?
I came from a small cave or a small bubble for decades even during the pandemic.
I know I am young-
But still…
Life has always not been easy.
I don't know what the world has meant to me.
I was born in the wrong environment and raised in the wrong, but the poorest state on Earth.
Am I from the wrong planet?
Why has the world always been bleak since the day I was born?
Why am I here?
Why am I still alive while the world is still chaotic?
It's been too much…
I'm not sure how many years I have left.
I have always been broken most of my life...
My life does not seem lovely…
It's always been isolated, cold, controlled, divided, overwhelmed, exhausted, disconnected, lonely, betrayed, & frustrated.
For years, I didn't see myself as a human or even a woman after I had been treated differently like an animal or an alien because I'm more flawed than others.
Am I an object or a toy?
if I was human enough —
I shouldn't have that kind of a major flaw on this planet.
I don't know if I have had any human connections or expressed myself deeply since childhood.
Where is the lightness?
It's always been on and off from light to dark every single day and night…
I don't know if I had a good enough education because of my disorders…
I felt pressured to be perfect and professional if I'm worthy enough as an artist, a writer, etc.
Why Greed?
Why does money always matter?
What should I choose?
Why should it be free of everything without any penny?
I remembered when I downsized as many things as I could to make more money instead of the struggling job I have been doing for not getting paid much.
Am I allowed to use my own body to greed for good?
As a struggling artist, the reality is still cruel from rejection, perfectionism, professionalism, and more…
I know I'm trying to be independent but things are still too much because I'm the broken one in this ableist & greedy society that most people think I can't do.
Or did they scapegoat me that I'm doing this to myself?
If it's true, I wonder if my real dream is death…
Where is hope?
What are my actual dreams that I deserve?
I want to be free.
I want to be loved.
I want to belong.
I want to be seen.
I want to be heard.
I wish others could support me more without being excluded easily all the time…
I would love to date a human(a guy) who's more common, have great spirit, and see just only me without any flaw of this and that
I want to make friends with Voice actors, etc not just for business, but for emotional and social support.
I want to live in the city so that I can feel free no matter how big it is.
Will my dreams ever come true?
Will I stay alive no matter how the world is?
I wonder….
I wonder if they could see clearly that I am human...
About the Creator
Meghan LeVaughn
I'm Meghan. I’m 36. I always love to be creative and using my imagination since I was a little girl. I like stories & love to share my inspirations, journeys, etc.
https://ko-fi.com/meghansdreamdesigns
www.instagram.com/meghansdreamdesigns
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Reader insights
Nice work
Very well written. Keep up the good work!
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Easy to read and follow
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