~
i feel the ghost of your hot breath on
my neck, the imprint of heavy
palms against my flesh, bruising,
leaving me a husk; at
least that's what you think.
but i was forged
from pain, now
you lose...
bang.
____________________________________________________
Thank you for reading! Kinda reworked, pared down and combined some older darker poems of mine :)
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Comments (12)
You could publish a book of nonets and I'd buy it. Seriously.
I LOVE IT! Clever and eloquent and brilliant.
Dark and painful with such a dramatic close! Well done!
Oof. That was dark and well deserved. Hugs, my friend.
Excellent entry for the challenge. Loved the ending.
Crikey! It was all sensual longing and dreamy and then you hit us with the revenge! Nicely done!
One of the best entries yet.
Murder is always the best option there is. I'm glad you see it my way hehehehe. Loved this!
This is a very striking entry to the challenge, Heather. I agree with Morgana, I love the rhythm of the piece and the verve. I had to read it five times before I caught the foreshadowing of 'I feel the ghost of your hot breath....' Really well written. I love the pic as well!
Well that's one way to end things! Delightfully macabre. Love the rhythm you've created here, as well.
Final lines are very beautiful.
Dark but superbly written!!!