Ryan’s Home Run

I haven’t written about you yet

And maybe that’s because your death triggers me more than I’d like to say

But that’s just the thing,I don’t want to talk about me anyway

I want to talk about everything you were while you stayed

Oh god, thank you for staying for as long as you may

I play Hold On Till May when I’m driving to your grave

As well as I Wish You Were here because I wish it were me

Ryan, you left us with more than I can say

Everyday I think of your smiling face

And I know I haven’t seen you in the past how many years

And I know we had a falling out which brings me to tears

Nothing happened except life and it got the best of us

But oh how I wish it was me, not you, that had had enough

Guilt surrounds me that I wasn’t there

When your demons started preying on a mind that only cared

To make people laugh and feel alive

I wish you would have felt that inside

Because the way I saw people hurt at your funeral

Made me know that your love wasn’t terminal

It will live in our hearts forevermore

But there was so much more to you that we wanted to explore

As you climbed the mountains without any experience

As you played guitar no matter the audience

As you cracked a joke as if you were a comedian

Did you know that you didn’t have to be obedient?

To whatever voice in your head that said that wasn’t worth it

To whatever the matter was that made you think you deserved it

To whatever state of mind that you couldn’t handle

Just know we don’t blame you for wanting out of it

We love you just the same, and your memory won’t be changed

From the go lucky, goofy man you were

In your life, God was served

And one more thing before I go

I want to thank you Ryan for that dream in which you showed

Your silly smirk as you walked away

Direct eye contact making sure I knew you were okay

You’re at peace now, just as you needed

Your dad will be pleased with the man he is re-meeting

You’re a soul I’ll never be forgetting

Ryan you’re the baseball you were always hitting

Everyone wishing you were the one they had in their mitts

…But you were a home run

So we’ll stay loving what we’re missing

We all just hope that you had fun