Ruminations on Broken Things
Abecedarian Poem
Alternating loaded punches
bruise the space between us.
Ceasefire no longer an option,
desire has left the battlefield.
Eclipsed by blazing eyes,
frail memories bleached by white hot anger
gaze like dwindling stars
hoping to find their navy sky.
If only he could remember
jasmine scenting our salty skin,
keen to seep like soap into olfactory
lingering and remembering of us,
mending our cracks like kintsugi—
neat lines of gold tracing a richer story
Or
Perhaps I could recall that moon
quelling the prisoner in my chest, when
reaching beyond the depth of my eyes
solemn oaths dripped from his lips;
tender proclamations
undressed hazy intentions
voiced with his hands gripping mine:
Will you marry me?
X on my lips when I said
Yes! Yes! Yes!
Zeal of it all, seems spent now, tired and long forgotten.
About the Creator
Teresa Renton
Inhaling life, exhaling stories, poetry, prose, flash or fusions. An imperfect perfectionist who writes and recycles words. I write because I love how it feels to make ink patterns & form words, like pictures, on a page.
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Reader insights
Outstanding
Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!
Top insights
Compelling and original writing
Creative use of language & vocab
Heartfelt and relatable
The story invoked strong personal emotions
Comments (17)
Love the love poem
So sweet. Happy to subscribe to your work.
Lovely Abecedarian
Fantastic poem, that runs without feeling constrained by the Abecedarian. Thought-provoking, and sad too. “tender proclamations undressed hazy intentions” is probably my favourite line. Well done!
I did read this, and then I didn’t comment! Ah!🫣 The resignation in this is startling. It’s not only heavy with giving up but also tensed with what used to be hope. You’ve just won. ❤️
Jaw drop. Floor. Lift up. Try and screw it back into place. Begin praise - this is sublime, Teresa. You never cease to amaze me with the way you weave such magic. This didn't even feel like an Abecedarian. It felt like a plea from two people heading out of a marriage that both don't wanna leave...because as is all too common...age, time spent together and all the ups and downs of life got in the way. Just bloody great, Teresa. I hope this places. It deserves to and wouldn't be surprised if you got a Top Story for this, either. Well done.
Beautiful words.
As a pastor who has conducted pre-marital counseling sessions umpteen times, I've forgotten how many times I've shared the wisdom, "Even if you've been living together for some time now, things look different once you've exchanged 'I do's." Keep your eyes & hearts open & always remember that love isn't easy. It takes work.
This was so poignant and emotional! Your Abecedarian flowed so smoothly! Loved it so much!
Wow. This is so emotional, and so beautifully written. Well done!
Ah that was sadly beautiful. So hard to keep the newness from settling into discontent and disconnect. Wonderfully written :)
There's such tenderness here I can't help feeling they still have a chance!
The beautiful examination of where the love went. It's just a relationship that's declined in a beautifully wrought poetic nugget. I loved this, Teresa. Made me feel, which is always good.
"Frail memories bleached by white hot anger" - I adore this line!
What a stunning journey for each reader. I immediately lost sight of the format of the poem and only felt the hazy dreamlike memories, the loss and longing. Also love your use of "or" to shift the tone and sort of press a reset. This is so well done!
These poems lend themselves well to narratives!
Oh, broken heart!!! Fantastically written!!! Loved it!!!💕♥️♥️