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RSM
- just a small breakdown -
I have been learning to be middle-class
but there have been setbacks such as: I have 'mental health'
which is like stress but you're not really allowed
to talk about it; spiders come crawling out of the walls
but I can't very well say to my sensible married
4x4 colleagues that these are because I am
in love with a man I really shouldn't be
and that I am thus because I have carved my world
and my personality into real and unreal for so long
that I have forgotten
which one is which and I am worried I might
mix them up at some crucial moment such as I might
kiss him or I might tell you all
fuck it I quit I am off to ruin my life again
I don't know if this is OCD or RSM (Real Serious Madness)
so I pretend not to see the spiders until
someone else notices one in which case of course I do
take her calmly outside apologising for the lack of eviction notice
but you know what humans are like, don't you? Better than
you, she says, stretching her elegant legs and leaving. So you see
I have been learning but there have been setbacks such as
I tried faking it and then I made it but the space in my head
usually occupied by FEAR PAIN LOATHING couldn't get filled up
with all your smiles and encouragement so here I am acting again,
and some days very glad
that the windows of this tall tall building
don't open.
About the Creator
TheSpinstress
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Comments (5)
How do you do that blend of funny and painful? I think poems like these are more moving than the ones that talk about the intensity because they show more about someone who's just this side of the line, coping, making the best of it, putting on a brave face. Hope you're okay.
Wow. This is incredible. So many stand out lines, but the ending really got me. Excellent work.
Being in love with a man that we're not supposed to be, that was very relatable. Loved your poem!
Your rendering of a claustrophobic feeling, both physical and psychological, is masterful.
Oh my. I think I like the space inside your head. I love you saying that you don't buy new clothes. I only buy from the sales rack, and it better be marked way down. Please don't force the window open. Then I could not read the new works coming from inside your head.