Read when you begin again

Welcome back,

I saw you were having a hard time with something, even if you wouldn't tell me what it was. You handled it really well! See, you're smiling now but not that fake smile you gave me for the past two weeks every time I asked how you were feeling. Yes, I noticed. No, I'm not mad. Well ... how are you feeling?

Just kidding. It's time to leave things in the past. Try going for a night walk with some music playing in your ears? I just got back from mine, and I played this.

I'm in my hermit era. Time to focus. If you want to see me, come to my house and cook dinner with me. You won't see me any other way. I'm in the final stretch of writing my book, using the last two stories to tie everything together. The last story is key to everything and I'm terrified I won't be able to pull it off. It's going to be about an older guy and and a younger one playing darts together talking about life. About how you just have to keep throwing at the board, trying your best, seeing what sticks and not being upset when things don't go your way.

I also want to touch on the nature of overhearing and imagining that happens in bars, and how all the stories in the book are informed by that type of knowing. That's what I wanted to capture in the form and style of writing. Now I want the last story to sort of crystalize and explain that type of storytelling while also using a particular dart game as a form. It's going to be one of the longest stories in the book.

You deserve flowers. Blue tulips. Dried lavender and yarrow. A bouquet delivered in the mail. Wildflowers on the corner outside a house on Madison. Something from Pike Place Market. Seeds to plant in fresh soil in the perfect pot someone hand picked for you as a gift. Looking forward, think only of the good things you will grow with them. What colors? Green and yellow or pink and maroon? What will the flowers smell like?

Don't be afraid. You, you, you. Yes, I'm talking to you. When you know what you want, dig into the soil and bury something even if you may never see it bloom. Say what you want out loud and water it. I promise you whatever you take care of will grow.

I became friends with C. again. Maybe you will meet him one day. He's really such a delightful man. We went to the cafe and then to the Volunteer Park Conservatory. I drew some of the flowers we saw together and put them on a very special wood frame a dear one gave me. I hope to draw so many rows of flowers for you.

Anyway, I hope your travels went well. Really, I am so happy to see you roam. Time and again you'll return and feel like you're stuck again. But you're not! You've already come so far. Keep going. It's not only me cheering you on.

ttys,

Joe

P.S. smile at all the cats on the island for me

P.P.S. I'm thirsty give me some water please