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I scream saying, "It's too hard to love you,"
thinking its too much, when you tell me that
you come with a warning label.
That your body is wrapped in yellow tape,
big black letters to scare me that you will
enter my mind, know my body through
every shape & every cervice.
You act like you will break me,
soil me into the ground, replant my body,
drown it in water, & feed me your
blood to keep me on your leash.
Yet, haven't I ever mentioned I am a Queen?
A Queen who's body has
been used to feed the peasents,
conquer lands of fairytales
& cotton candy dreams?
Sprinkled with chocolate syrup
& a tiny little imaginary pill
to control my imaginary friends
settled in my head.
As they pour tea down my throat,
play imaginary upside down chairs,
float on clouds of smoke,
hide my frown with a smile,
& cut me open to show you
I come with a warning label.
Loving me comes with a warning,
I will give you emotions you have
never felt before, show you different
parts of me, play games with your head
like its a game of chess
then it becomes cat & mouse.
I will bring you to your knees
to worry about me, eventually
learning every part of your mind
& body but I could tell you I love
you then leave you without
a letter, phrase, sentence
or a wave of goodbye.
Loving me is a warning,
loving me is a fright,
its a terrible thing to waste
love on me because loving me
is a warning.
I can ruin you & you would never
notice the difference in the
mirror.
The sunking of your eyes,
the guilt in your chest that
I teared inside of you like a tapeworm
beginning to grow.
I am a warning to love,
I can say I love you
& get over you in a day,
push out my tears,
moving forward
as though your handprints
never touched me.
The smell of your cologne
never reaching my pillow
but I always leave my mark
even with those that
have told me your words;
if they left they wouldn't
mourn my loss or feel
heartbreak.
My warning label cuts deep,
it lives in my hands, my tongue that
slithers into your ear like a snake,
or my brown eyes that drown
you into a ocean of deep shark
infested waters that feed
onto your emotion.
Feeding onto your heart.
What else do I have to lose?
When I know how to play mind
games, recieve what I must,
twirl you like spaghetti,
one day be an ocean of emotion.
Don't you see?
I come with
a warning label of my own,
one that I created from birth,
I steal hearts & I break them.
I wonder if there is a pill for this,
a pill for damning myself into damnation,
kissing strangers on their cheeks in my
dreams, drowning myself on cupcake
iodine & frosting medication for depression.
You don't know me,
or how cold my body can be,
you dont know the personalities
that live inside me.
One is a ghost passing through,
creating pain, misery & jokes,
but my other side is quiet,
simple, & free with creativity.
I break everyone I meet,
slowly but surely, I will make
you hurt, I will try to break
your heart to heal my own,
I will say I want to break up,
say yes then no.
My heart is a warning,
my bipolar a gift,
I'll make your skin melt,
then make you pull my
skeleton from the drain,
repair my body back
into its bat-shaped
coffin burying me
into a graveyard of lilies.
I am a broken soul,
but you should know,
sometimes I fake emotion,
to show I am human,
to show that I care,
the warning is my personality
is not what it seems.
You staring into the mirror
of a girl that was once a canvas,
whose's body has turned into a cocoon,
I have faked happiness with you
but not my saddness & never anger.
Never love but I have never felt
happiness, every happy trial
has been a high but not a low,
Its been a manic in every cherry soda,
in every kiss.
I don't know what happiness is,
Its my first time realizing it,
as I recite lines, & try to make
sense of an emotion that I can't
understand.
My highs are a feel of fake happiness,
excitement & joy but the lows are just
as real as the strangers in my dreams
that violate me.
I deceive everyone I meet
because a girl without emotion
is just another mannequin waiting to
be clothed & to be loved.
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