I Miss You, But the Silence Remains

In the depths of night, a familiar yearning grips my heart, and I find myself reminiscing about you once more. The desire to see your face, to surprise you with an unexpected appearance, and to feel the warmth of your embrace enveloping me overwhelms me.

You see, at this very moment, you have no idea just how deeply I long for you. It’s a feeling that strikes me out of nowhere, a sudden madness that renders me utterly defenseless and helpless. I can’t fight it; I can only surrender to it, accepting my fate as it is.

I’ve resolved countless times not to let myself be swayed by thoughts of you, but it’s a battle I fear I can’t win. The fear of being overtaken by memories of you forces me to never linger when the opportunity arises to go out and distract myself. Yet, despite my fondness for solitude, I can’t escape the inescapable loneliness that engulfs me whenever I’m alone.

I’ll admit, I’ve shed tears at the thought of you, unable to contain the well of emotions building up inside. To counteract the sadness, I search desperately for humor, consuming jokes and funny content that can make others laugh. Thankfully, my sense of humor isn’t too demanding, and I still manage to chuckle even when my heart is heavy. But in the end, the laughter only accentuates the tears.

Whenever I miss you, I turn to jokes and indulge in chocolates. My lips may curl into a smile, and there might be a hint of sweetness in my mouth, but deep down, I’m still consumed by thoughts of you, the longing for you.

A song, a few words, a text, a movie, a familiar profile, a smile, or a simple act of kindness — all these trigger thoughts of you. It’s only in these moments that I realize how fragile I’ve become, how easy it is to stumble upon the emotional landmine of missing you and detonate the fragments of my heart.

Always, I always yearn for your presence, your warmth by my side, even though it feels like I’m slowly extinguishing all hope within myself. Before I met you, I could delete text messages without a second thought, but this time, it’s different. I can’t bring myself to do it, and I can’t explain why.

Last night, as I gazed at the starry night sky, I contemplated sending you a message. But the words eluded me. Perhaps there were too many thoughts, and too many emotions, and in the end, I didn’t know where to begin or what to say.

So, I restrained myself, powered down my phone, and lay in bed, awaiting the solace of sleep. I acknowledge that I miss you profoundly, but I won’t disturb your peace.

You, you are my constant, my singular focus. And that, my friend, is enough to make me happy, even as I navigate the intricate dance of longing and restraint that defines my feelings for you.

Thank you for reading!