For the Mothers of Gaza

Put him down when he sleeps the experts say.

You’ll create a bad habit, you’ll condition him to expect you there

But when he wakes up, he calls out for me, his mother,

And there are 17,000 motherless children in Rafah right now and more to come;

How can I not hold this one as tight as I can?

In the spirit of the mothers who can’t.

How can I not comfort him when he cries knowing how many children will be uncomforted for the rest of their lives

How can I not bury myself into the warmth of his soft neck folds and breathe deeply

How can I not condition him to expect love and care when he calls out

These are the moments I am undoubtedly sure I want to exist on this earth a universe we created my baby and me

Though these moments may create bad habits.

The men are fighting over their version of a God

But both of their gods allow things like motherless children and the destruction of souls

Did they ever stop to think he might not be worth fighting for?

If I lay down with my baby in my arms

And pray they lay down their arms

Will it stop?

But then I think of losing my baby at someone’s hands

And know it would kill the thing in me that wants the killing to end

That precious crucial part that makes all the difference

Between holding my baby in my arms or taking up arms

Vengeance may be the worst bad habit of all, one we are well conditioned for

Would I be able to remember the silent prayers of all mother’s holding their babies?

Would I be able to remember the universe that I know can exist,

Would I be able to choose radical love over radical hate? Because hate and love both create bad habits

But maybe the bad habits I’m creating may allow him to choose differently and…

violence won’t always be a dead child away.