F*ck Boys

Young Love

"Meet me at the basketball court, right after school before the sun light goes down. Or maybe in the morning, before the rise of dawn. Your innocence turns me on. You're driving me crazy but don't tell your brother. I'll come get you tomorrow... See you at the bus stop."

His eyes hidden behind thick prescription glasses. His black hair curls more than mine. Dark chocolate skin, excited to inhale him in. Like a rush, so warm, intimidating... He throws me against the wall, parts my legs and rubs himself in between mine... Each kiss intoxicating, sending chills up and down my spine. Each moment stolen in time, our little secret... Out of sight, out of mind.

Messenger, chat rooms, 3pm till late at night. Wanting to see you all of the time. Ravaging me at every opportunity, when my brother's not looking... Stick your fingers down my pants, grabbing me, gripping me so tightly. Loose my breath imagining what it would feel like, our very first night.

"Lay on your back, relax... Have you done this before?" "No" "I thought you did," as he gets up to leave. "Please don't go, we can do it in the pool like you wanted to before!" I pull and pull, "unzip your pants... let me try." My mouth sucks him in. Sweet like the divine... He was up and out through my bedroom door. Seconds later, the front door slammed shut.

What did I do wrong? We fantasized about this for so damn long. 15 years old, when we first met. Senior year is here, are you going to make me your girl? I ask myself all hours of the day... Can we go back to kissing under the staircase? Drinking your tongue as you drank mine... Hours seemed to pass when it was just you and I. One night at the movie theatre, changed it all. I heard her in the bathroom, reapplying lip gloss, telling her girlfriends she's about to have a good time. A quick hi, she remembered me, as she walked on by. I saw her leave with you, you didn't even say goodbye.

Here's to the F*ck Boys who carry our hearts in the power of their hands. Never thinking for a moment that once, just once, we want to be as special as you made us feel. We want to believe... Yet, you persist in lies... What will it take for you to realize? A body to love, a soul unknown... With each new relationship, intimacy takes a toll. One day, just one day... You'll be here with more... More than a dick because as much as you taste good, I can't survive on junk food. I know how to cook now and you aren't getting a taste until you flourish into a full grown man, I'll wait... Take your sweet own time... We'll make a love that only you and I can define.