![](https://res.cloudinary.com/jerrick/image/upload/d_642250b563292b35f27461a7.png,f_jpg,fl_progressive,q_auto,w_1024/h31gbmhrzw7q6hxnmtni.jpg)
I am broken, I can not feel
Right behind this steering wheel.
My mind is bleeding, thoughts of you
I don’t know what I am going to do.
A big part of me has been ripped away,
I will never recover, never again be “Okay,”
Every day I think of you as I grow to the end of adolescence
Here goes my morning dose of anti-depressants.
I think I’ll drive, into this wall
It’s made of brick, stands twelve feet tall,
I’m gonna die, you said to me
Tears fill my eyes, I can not see.
I went into your room that night
To make up from our only fight.
I saw the bed sheets, no longer white, but red, soaked
I tried to scream, but I only choked.
If you are dying, I am too,
Screw this shit we’ve been through,
This is the worst day I’ve ever had.
I can’t believe I’m losing you, Dad.
I wanted to tell you “I’m sorry,” but then
Your heartbeat stopped, at 3am.
I think, as I spot the clock on the shelf,
I could always overdose, or hang myself.
I look into the mirror
I see you looking back, your features have never been clearer
You are the other half of me,
My half of 46, now just 23.
I wish I could take back the things I said,
I wish I told you I love you, and I didn’t want you dead,
I found the box of undelivered letters under your bed
From my mistakes, my anger has fed.
It’s been five years since that night.
I’m still not winning the recovery fight
I long for the day, we meet again,
Knowing what I lost causes me pain.
I close your eyes for you, my dear.
Now you’re ridden of your fears,
And as I blow your face a kiss
I swallow a bullet; it’s come to this…
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