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I fake this smile.
It's not because I pretend to like you - It's because I pretend to like myself.
Taking cheap shots, as I am not worthy for a taste of the winners top-self.
I am on the edge, waiting to fall, but willing to take the dive.
Already at rock bottom - I don't care if I survive.
I see my worth in their eyes, they tell me what I already know;
Life will be far less tiresome for everyone, once I decide to let go.
I've performed this pain-filled smile for long enough and the agony I can no longer endure.
Trust me when I say, there will be no encore.
I care not if they throw roses or berate me with thorns,
What I want is freedom from their sadistic terms.
I turn and bestow one last smile upon the crowd;
Designed to dazzle them one last time, before I go underground.
The smoke clears and they realise that I am completely gone.
Perhaps now, they will see the devastation in slowly dying alone.
About the Creator
Jollyoddbod Poetry
Here I am, and here I'll stay;
Like the moon in the darkness that refuses to fade.
Clouds will cover, but cannot take from my reign;
Mark this as the moment that they realise, as they scoff with distain.
They fell asleep, I cannot be blamed.
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Comments (2)
Wow, this is very heartbreaking and deeply sad. Written poem. Your emotions come out quite a bit. 
Oh gosh, this was so poignant, intense and heartbreaking. Loved your poem! Hope you're okay.