As Result of Tainted Memories

If the only memories you have of me are negative and marred. If scars now have sealed up the sections of your heart that you opened up to me. If forgotten are the evenings we dressed to the nines, shared our talents and time, affirmed and refined our friendship, all while we dined sumptuously. And instead the image of my face leaves but a bitter taste on your tongue, and the fat lady’s sung on our once solid relationship and we cannot have so much as an awkward acquaintanceship. Then truly I must accept that life is a cruel master. And the forecaster of turbulent journeys must not be too fond of me. For I have weathered many storms but it’s only now dawned on me that there is a limit to how much I can withstand without buckling. I cannot carry on endlessly extending my heart to those who claim they’ll protect it. Until the weight of the love I can offer, that has hitherto been neglected, has crushed me internally and my heart ceases to beat. So when I finally deplete myself of emotion, I will fully forsake the preposterous notion that I could ever be granted a love that is whole and complete. No longer will I sweep up the broken pieces of a heart that has been shattered. I will never again tape up the fragments that are torn up and tattered or search for my scattered slivers of soul. I have steeled up my heart to prevent further breaking, locked it away to avoid further aching, all in attempt to at last begin damage control. But to those I have loved in any capacity, whether it was fleeting feelings or love with tremendous tenacity, understand that I cannot retract the parts of me that I’ve already given. This love line once casted refuses to sever, until my days meet their end. However, due to the pain and as result of tainted memories that I cannot mend. Henceforth and forever, I will not love again.