An Addicts Plea

I woke up today mind fuzzy, blurred sight, Feeling guilty and ashamed that I relapsed last night, I take out and aspirin and a small glass of water, Sweat beads on my brow now temp couldn't be any hotter, I turn the ac on and lie beneath my fan, Still have more to sleep off but don't know if I can, I hate myself and don't understand, why I cant put down the bottle and just be a man, Am I really lesser than who I was before? I can't even tell you what I consider fun anymore, In fact I don't remember who I was before the liquor consumed, I used to wake up at 9 am not 2 in the afternoon, I hate that I have to write to get my feelings out, but when I try talking about it the words just wont come out, I hate to worry others about my addiction, I know people get tired of listenin' I'm sure they wish I'd just shut up and fix it, I wish that was all that it was, That I could just decide one day I've had enough, Addiction doesn't work that way, Whether it's a week or 30 years you'll be fighting every day, I'm not too proud to admit my mistakes, I just hope I don't make too many before it's too late, People only see when I mess up they don't see the days I try, They only see the beer you had not the three you denied, They see you loaded and laughing but not the tears that you've cried, The guilt and shame alone are enough to drive you to drink, I hear people say just quit but it's way harder than they think, If you were addicted you know what I mean, Life doesn't get easier just because you got clean, Its a new battle with every coming breath, But there's people who've won the fight every day til' their death, So I know quitting is possible, and with the right support possibly probable, I'm just saying don't judge an addict by one slip or misstep, The shame you cast on him might make him use til' he's dead, Just give them your love and support, Love them even when they're coming up short, I'm sorry I've put this burden on you my family, I hope that's someday soon I'll remember what it's like to be happy