A Stormy Home(body)
When windy days lead to windy thoughts
There’s a stillness in this house
Quiet radiates of walls in the softest sound waves
Outside the wind rages on
A reminder that I am not alone in my screaming
~
My therapist has been trying to convince me of screaming
For months she has challenged me on the outcome
~
She says, “it’ll ease the pressure”
I say, “how can I allow myself to take up space”
~
There is no question in my statement
For I am no wind
No force of nature
Not even a grain of sand upon this land that isn’t mine
~
I claim nothing
Want nothing
~
Worry, my pain will radiate towards the neighbors and cause them to worry
I know there is already too much chaos next door
~
I return to my thirteen year old thoughts of
“My pain is not big enough to count, others matter more”
I am nothing
I feel nothing
~
Airport runway lights blink bright red
The flight of my self-compassion has departed
~
I am not on the flight.
I have yet to buy my own ticket.
~
But hope whispers in my good ear,
“Tickets are half off tomorrow if you wish to try again”
I wrote this poem on a particularly windy day. The house was shaky and while the wind howled along with my thoughts, there was a sense of calm indoors. Maybe if was the trust in the walls to hold still enough to not collapse; both my inner emotional walls and those of the house. Weird.
This poem was also posted on my medium account under my pseudonym Poet in the Arctic.
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About the Creator
Oneg In The Arctic
A storyteller and poet of arctic adventures, good food, identity, mental health, and more.
Co-founder of Queer Vocal Voices
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Comments (7)
How does this not have more reads...incredibly written with such raw emotion. This line gabbed me and refuses to let go.' I say, “how can I allow myself to take up space” ~
"The flight of my self-compassion has departed" - best line ❤
"The Butterfly Effect" in poetic free form.
Intensely beautiful and the scream taking space is so relateable 🤍
This was gorgeous and so powerful. Amazing what a storm can bring out in a person. Theses lines were perfect: For I am no wind No force of nature Not even a grain of sand upon this land that isn’t mine
Weird. I saw the word weird and was wondering which weird you're talking about. The weird weird or your weird. It has to be the weird weird. Lol. Your poem was so intense, poignant and emotional! Sending you lots of love and hugs ❤️
Superbly written!!! Love this!°❤️❤️💕