It Takes Two Hands to Clap to Build a Relationship

Have you ever wondered why a relationship could go cold and turn from good to bad? The reason is that any relationship takes two hands to clap, whether in friendship, family, or marriage.

Although knowing the cause is simple, the execution and maintenance of it are tedious and time-consuming. So, if you want a simpler life, have fewer relationships.

I have witnessed many relationships turning bad and marriages failing, and I wonder why it is so difficult to cultivate a friendlier and more loving relationship. Here are some of my thoughts on it:

1. We are all selfish even though we are unaware

In any relationship, people always protect their interests, thinking about what's in it for themselves. Because of such thinking, we cannot extend ourselves to meet the deeper needs of others.

Some people are less demanding, while others are more difficult to get along with. We may not have a choice for family relationships because we are born into a nuclear family. We cannot choose the character of our parents, siblings, or even children.

However, when we choose friends from our social circles, we can have some choices, although there are occasionally inconsistencies. For example, you may have a nice friendship with a particular friend; however, when you know more about their values and beliefs, you may have strong objections. Hence, whenever you talk about those issues, it might result in an intense contest of opinions.

Hence, finding a friend with many values similar to yours is often a challenge. If you can ever discover such a friend, nurturing such a friendship with mutual respect and admiration for each other's values is truly a blessing.

In marriage, the relationship goes through many years of testing and trials. The obligation and commitment to make it work are even more demanding. There has to be strong commitment and respect for one another's choices and preferences.

Any of these traits that go unresolved for an extended period is like waiting for a volcano to erupt. Once it erupts, it isn't easy to rebuild the relationship. The relationship will soon break at some point.

Hence, prevention is the only way for a marriage relationship to nurture. We must prevent miscommunications from escalating, mistrust from going out of hand, and anger must be resolved and forgiven.

Hence, before we marry, we must be sure that the other partner is forgiving and easy to get along with.

2. Listen to one another

Listening is one of the hardest things to do in any relationship. Before someone completes their sharing, we tend to jump in and summarise their feelings. Some people take more time to express how they feel.

Until and unless you understand their deepest concerns, any suggestions you make are only superficial and may not be what they need.

We ought to be glad if the person we relate to likes to talk. If they do not speak, we must second-guess their feelings, which is much more difficult.

We need time to listen to our friends, family members or spouses. Therefore, we need time away from our work and hobbies to listen.

Have you ever had a friend who likes to contact you to talk? In-person or on the phone, that person finds you a relatively good listener who understands them.

3. Be happy about their achievements

People need recognition, be it something as significant as achieving a doctorate or as little as getting a certificate for learning a skill. Not all people will end up in the same destination to have substantial academic achievements. Some will have accomplishments in other aspects of life.

Do you support your friends by encouraging them? Do you say nice things about them? It is also true in a couple's marriage relationship, where one achieves much more in their career than the other. Does the achiever put down the non-achiever?

We must examine these questions to know why relationships sometimes fail.

In conclusion

The relationship between two persons is a tricky thing to maintain in life. If we have found a good friend or a suitable life partner, we must know how to keep that relationship growing positively. It will either get better or worse.

The choice is always there for both parties to consider because it takes two hands to clap to build a solid and meaningful relationship.