Instead of Coffee, Smell Flowers

New years may have started for many on January 1st, but my ready-set-go started during Thanksgiving, lol. I spoke to myself like, Lioness, get it together girl! Do you really need that book from Amazon? Do you really need to buy three of everything from the grocery store, and for crying out loud, get the hell up and go run, even if it is cold as a serial killer outside!!! It’s always the mental resistance that bugs me. The resistance of just getting up to execute and not doing it. Maybe, it’s the pain, exhaustion, or just laziness that defeats me. Just do it! Just do and be without fear! What and who is stopping you but you?! My heart begins to race, my thoughts scatter, feelings become tense, anxious, and impatient, and my breathing becomes more shallow. Those are my old year symptoms.

RESOLUTIONS

These issues are my internal challenges which may seem small to many, but are as heavy boulders for me. I would literally spend 1200 dollars a month on food and that’s not including other expenses, 350-500$ for online shopping, 60 a week on gas, and $100 on takeout. I promised myself that this year I’m going to focus on necessity, be patient, and set clear expectations with clear intentional goals. That’s a huge thing for me, BEING CLEAR. I’m not going to just spend money frivolously. Groceries are now set at a budget of 450 and online shopping is minimal; instead of driving far places, at-home-creative-craft, adventure, and science are what entertain my family and I. I’m going to firmly say no comfortably without explaining or reflecting back on, “why” to myself and others. Knowing that I’ll have more money in my bank account with self control, I already feel uplifted, disciplined, and responsible. Now, when I browse websites for online shopping and see something I like, I puff my chest up and out like superwoman and say, “who you talking to? I don’t want you. I already have what I need.” Also, I’m going to not browse online stores. Keeping myself busy with the people and things I enjoy keep my mind from drifting to these pitfalls. I also want to give at least 3500 dollars in donations to cancer awareness foundations, organizations for children with special needs, homeless shelters, and international school funding for governmental systems of countries that don’t have effective infrastructures and lack funding. Last year, I was only able to donate at least 100$ to two different organizations, but I knew I could’ve donated more if I hadn’t spent my money without wise planning. I donate books and clothes, but that’s not enough for me. I really want people less fortunate to have and experience what I do and greater, even though I’m a minority in this country. I full much gratitude and appreciation every single second of my waking life.

GOALS

I know saving my money will enable me to buy the things I need to start my future long term businesses, build my dream home, and help others in need all over the world. I plan on moving forward and not looking back by continuously making progress. I’m going to write when inspired, run when I’m restless, create when I imagine, give when I can, and play when I’m happy. I’m going to enjoy who I am and all of my aspirations.I’m ready for change and I’m ready now!! I would always put tasks or desires on hold due to either fear of failure, lost of interest, or feel obligated to my responsibilities. Now is the year to resolve my excuses, reach my goals, and burst forth as bubbling springs of water. I tell myself, “everyone who is making money and doing what they love, they do it by course of action. It’s a movement that builds up the momentum of the energy that’s invested in the endeavor and made manifest in the flesh.”

CLIMBING—OVERCOMING OBSTACLES

This is my fresh start to look back on everything as hills and valleys to bring me to the mountain top. My current job is not going to trap me, my children aren’t going to stop me, social riots, discrimination, or hate will not stop me. Each day, week, and month will be the hike to exercise my will to the highest peak in myself. When I get there, I shall take a deep breath and say, “ah, I made it.”