6 Stoic Strategies for Overcoming Embarrassment

Welcome back to Reflections from Within by Innominaire!

This Week’s Topic: Embarrassment (#3)

My Response to Last Week's Question:

Here's last week's question:

"Is embarrassment a necessary aspect of the human experience that allows for personal growth and humility, or is it a societal construct that serves only to limit and restrict individuals?"

Embarrassment can be viewed as both a necessary aspect of the human experience that allows for personal growth and humility and a societal construct that serves only to limit and restrict individuals.

On one hand, experiencing embarrassment can serve as a valuable learning experience. For example, when I first went to the gym at 16 and tried to bench press, I failed to lift 30 kg and dropped the plates, which went everywhere because I didn't use clips. A lovely guy helped me out to re-rack them and tidied them away for me, but then I left and didn't show up for a week.

If I didn't face the embarrassment of that situation, I wouldn't have learned about gym etiquette which would have made my fitness journey quite unusual & chaotic!

On the other hand, societal expectations and pressure can contribute to feelings of embarrassment and limit individuals from expressing themselves fully. It is important to understand the difference between healthy embarrassment that leads to growth and unhealthy embarrassment that holds us back and we strive to overcome the latter.

Feeling embarrassed? Let's talk about why it matters.

Embarrassment is a feeling we all experience at some point in our lives. It's that uncomfortable feeling in the pit of our stomach when we realize that we've made a mistake or acted in a way that doesn't align with our values.

But why should we care about this feeling?

According to the Stoics, embarrassment is a sign that we're attached to the opinions of others and that we're not living in accordance with our own principles.

Stoics got something to say about embarrassment

The Stoics believed that true freedom comes from being indifferent to the opinions of others.

As Epictetus said:

'It's not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.'

Similarly, Seneca wrote,

"It's not because things are difficult that we dare not venture. It's because we dare not venture that they are difficult."

The Stoics remind us that the way we react to embarrassment is under our control and that we should NOT let it hold us back from living our lives in accordance with our own principles.

Stoicism 101: How to overcome the embarrassment

According to Stoicism, the key to overcoming embarrassment is to detach ourselves from the opinions of others and to focus on living in accordance with our own principles.

This means being true to ourselves and not allowing the fear of embarrassment to hold us back from taking action. The Stoics also believed in the power of self-reflection and introspection. By examining our thoughts and actions, we can identify the root cause of our embarrassment and work towards overcoming it.

In a nutshell

Embarrassment is an inevitable part of life, but it doesn't have to hold us back. By following the teachings of the Stoics and focusing on living in accordance with our own principles, we can overcome the embarrassment and live a life of true freedom.

Remember, Marcus Aurelius said:

'The best revenge is to be unlike him who performed the injury.'

Don't let embarrassment define you, be true to yourself and live the life you want.

Realistic steps to apply Stoic principles in real life

While the Stoic philosophy may seem abstract, there are several practical steps you can take to apply these principles in your daily life.

Here are a few tips to help you overcome the embarrassment and live in accordance with your own principles:

1. Practice self-reflection and introspection: Take time to examine your thoughts and actions and identify the root cause of your embarrassment.
2. Set realistic goals: Setting realistic goals will help you focus on what's important and give you a sense of purpose.
3. Learn to let go: Learn to let go of the things that you cannot control and focus on what you can control.
4. Focus on your values: Remind yourself of your values and what's important to you.
5. Take action: Instead of letting embarrassment paralyze you, take action towards your goals.
6. Practice mindfulness and be patient with yourself: Mindfulness is the practice of being present at the moment and not dwelling on the past or worrying about the future. Remember that progress takes time.

By following these practical steps, you can apply the Stoic principles in your daily life and overcome the feeling of embarrassment. Remember, the key to overcoming embarrassment is to detach ourselves from the opinions of others and to focus on living in accordance with our own principles.

In conclusion, embarrassment is an inevitable part of life, but it doesn't have to hold us back. By following the teachings of the Stoics and focusing on living in accordance with our own principles, we can overcome the embarrassment and live a life of true freedom.

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Comment your response to the question below and you may see your response in next week's post!

Question about Next Week’s Topic…

""Can true happiness be achieved through the pursuit of external possessions or must it be found within oneself?"

If you’re reading this then this is the perfect time to start making positive changes in our lives. With the right mindset, motivation, and stoicism, we can all become the best version of ourselves and make 2023 OUR year.

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I look forward to learning and growing together.