Lead Yourself to Success

I believe you are always leading. If you have nobody to lead, you are leading yourself. And that's the most important person you could ever lead.

Why? Because if you don't lead yourself, no one will.

I hear you... Someone can come along and offer a helping hand. While this is possible, you still have to decide to accept the help. You also have to put yourself out there for someone to notice you need help.

That's what leading oneself is all about. You have to decide to grow and succeed in your life. That's the way to lead others. Otherwise, you will not be an example for others to emulate. This is like listening to a fat and out-of-shape personal trainer. Would you take him seriously? Probably not. And for good reason.

So take charge of your life. Make intentional choices. Guide yourself toward your goals. This is leading you to success.

Here are my thoughts:

Transform your mindset

Resist negative influence

Align with a higher purpose

Transform Your Mindset

Mindset is habits of mind formed by previous experience. That's the definition according to Etymonline. This is different from what I have been listening to from people.

I associate mindset with positive thinking. Yes, I can have negative thoughts and that still shapes my mindset.

But the point is to have positive thoughts. Hence, why my mindset is different. So how come the definition suggests that my previous experiences shape my mindset? Well, because it does. That's a fact.

The difference is what I was thinking before the experience. If my thoughts focused on an undesirable outcome, I likely got that outcome. If my thoughts focused on a desirable outcome, I likely got a desirable outcome.

You see, I control my mind and thus, my responses to external stimuli. I don't control the consequences of my response, though. But can I influence it? I believe I can. And the answer lies in my response.

To be clear, I can influence but not control. That means that the outcome is still unknown. I can visualize an outcome and behave in a manner that attracts that outcome, though. That's the power of influence and it starts with one's thoughts.

Resist Negative Influence

"You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with." - Jim Rohn

If the quote above is true - and I believe it to be true - who are the five people you spend the most time with?

That's why it's very important to protect your circle, the closest and most trusted people in your life. They will make you or break you. They will lift you or push you down. It's that simple.

If you don't have this close circle, you are still in peril. That means that society has a hold of you. Rather, society has a greater chance of influencing you. That's because society is everywhere like "The Matrix". This includes your coworkers, neighbors, people on TV, people on social media, etc.

You can't escape this reality. You can only influence it by choosing who is in your circle. If you don't choose, the environment will choose it for you. And that's when the negative influence begins to seep in.

Of course, you can also choose negative influence over positive. The perfect example of this is whenever your parents said "not to hang out with that kid." Your parents may have been unable to communicate the reason why, but they knew. They knew that kid was not a good influence on you. And as a parent, that's my job. To teach you and guide you to make better decisions.

But what happens when you are on your own? After all, this story is about leading oneself. You have to stay true to your values and principles. Thus, you must first identify and declare these. Then you can make decisions based on your values and principles. And this is not always easy. It usually means that you are going against what's popular or expected.

So avoid negative influence by holding on to your values and principles. Choose the people you spend most of your time with care. This includes your partner for life, i.e., your spouse.

Align with a Higher Purpose

If you are religious, this means to align with your [version of] God. If you are not religious, it means your purpose on this Earth. And this takes time to discover. Take that time.

You focus on what matters when you have a clear purpose. This gives you direction and meaning. It also gives you the energy to keep going.

So align your actions with your higher purpose. You will find fulfillment and inspiration to keep pushing forward. The road doesn't get easier because of it. It still brings challenges and adversity.

Conclusion

You are the most important person you can lead. That's because you become a person for others to emulate. This includes your spouse and children. If you are unable to take care of yourself, you are unable to take care of others. Remember that.

Identify your values and principles. Become a better person. Take care of yourself and then take care of others.

Is not selfish to take care of oneself. It's selfish to only take care of oneself.