The Interview

Interview, everybody's been getting one, here's mine. That's what I tell myself when I walk through the big doors of the theater already wishing I was anywhere but where I was. I'm not a big spotlight guy. I prefer the shadows where it's safer.

Wait, that's not really true, is it? I don't always hate the spotlight. When I can control what the spotlight sees. When I'm allowed to carefully craft what goes out into the World. Well, in those cases I don't mind stepping out of the dark. In fact, I love the beam of the big light shining down on me, then.

Of course, this is a different story. This is not one of the moments when what's about to be revealed will be on my terms. Tonight, this moment, the one on the stage I'm about to walk out on is a moment where uncomfortable doesn't begin to describe how I feel. I'm not big on talking about myself or revealing facts. I like publishing writing that offers the comfort of hiding behind a veil of fiction. I like the reader not knowing if the lines of a poem were made up in my head or actually torn out of my life.

I'm sure the monster who looks at me as I take my seat on the dark stage is perfectly nice. I'm sure they only have the best of intentions for me. But right now, in this situation to me, they are Freddy Krueger or Jason live in person, and not the actors, the real I'm gonna kill you villains.

The monster spies me as I settle in my chair and reaches out with a friendly hand. Reluctantly, not wanting to, I take the proffered hand. They look at me with a kind look in their eyes and I think to myself, you won't get my defenses down that easily. A smile spreads across their lips and I return a smile that covers up the fact that they won't be gaining my trust tonight. It's not their fault. It's mine. Everything they hear from me in this interview will be guarded. I'm not one to easily lay myself bare for all to see.

Still, they don't really deserve the moniker of Monster. They don't have large, fanged teeth or sharp claws, do they? So, in light of those facts, I think I should come up with something else to call them. I probably shouldn't use their real name, though. I'm a big fan of anonymity as you may have already gathered. But I should give them a name. I don't know. How about Vocal? That sounds good to me. Because really, isn't that what this interview is all about? The vocalization of who I am.

Wiping the moisture from my hands by sliding them down the legs of my slacks I look at Vocal as they sit in front of me straightening the small stack of papers in their lap. The corners of their mouth turn up one more time in a smile. And the bottom drops out of the already sinking feeling in my stomach. Beams of white light cascade down on the stage. Each one trained on where Vocal and I sit across from each other. In my chest, I feel my heart rapidly beating faster and faster as it prepares to break through my ribs and make its escape bouncing across the stage one throb at a time.

My ears abandon me for an ocean tide and fill themselves with a whooshing sound. Barely audible through the noise of the waves crashing against the shores of my ear canals, I hear the question I've been dreading.

"Are you ready?" Vocal asks. I don't answer just involuntarily nod my head.

"Okay good." Vocal smiles, their all too perfect smile at me one more time then glances over their shoulder at the audience.

"Let's get going then," Vocal says turning back. Our eyes meet as they face me again and I know this is going to be worse than I imagined. "Welcome everyone to the Writer's Studio where we celebrate our writing community." Applause lifts from an audience I can't see beyond the glow of the lights. "The calendar has turned, and a new year is upon us. As we welcome 2024, we are interviewing many of our great creators who have found a home on our platform." Vocal looks down at the top paper on the stack in their lap, then back up at me.

"Joining us today is a very special creator. A creator who first joined our platform in 2021. Who has published 88 stories ranging from hard-paced crime dramas to free verse poetry that displays breathtaking imagery. This creator has also supported many of the members of our community by liking more than 2000 stories and commenting many many more times than that on their stories and others. Along with the support they have given to the community, this creator has compiled over 2900 reads with 265 subscribers and several Top Stories. Let's give a warm round of applause to The Invisible Writer" The audience cheers and my rebellious body stands at the sound. Not knowing what to do I take a small bow before sitting again.

"Thank you for joining us, Invisi. Do you mind if I call you Invisi?" Vocal asks.

"Invisi is fine," I say.

"Would you like to say anything before we begin with our look back at your efforts in 2023 and your aspirations for 2024?" And, just like that, here it is. What I've been fearing, Shy quiet me putting my thoughts out there, not hiding behind my writing, but revealing my true self. Fighting back against the buzzing of nerves resonating in my body, I speak.

"If I could say one word to the judges of every challenge, the administrators of the platform, and most of all to my fellow creators that word would be grateful. Grateful for the opportunity to enter each challenge. Grateful for the judges who have considered my work. Grateful to the administrators for creating this platform. Grateful to the creators for the likes, the comments, and the friendships I've gained." Applause fills the air, again. And, I take an easy breath thankful the first answer is done.

"Thank you Invisi, and I'm sure I can speak for our entire community by saying we are grateful for you as well." Vocal glances down at the papers in their lap for the third time, then back up at me. "Let's begin, shall we? Invisi how has the past year writing on our platform shaped your goals for the upcoming year?"

"The past year has been a learning experience. What I love about the platform is that it has made me a better writer in every way. By reading other talented creators' works. By pushing myself to improve every aspect of my writing, to show not tell, to create more vivid imagery, to write poems that are more than just beautiful words, to get that next top story, next comment, next like, and to finally place in a challenge." I take a moment to refocus my thoughts.

"How has all of that helped to shape my goals for the next year? It has given me the direction I needed in my writing. The confidence I was lacking to set my writing goals higher than they have ever been before. To finally rewrite my novel, to create gripping fiction, to pen poetry that not only resonates but evokes thought.

"What genres or writing forms do you wish to explore?" Vocal picks up a pencil and twirls it in their fingers.

"Ask me that after I see what challenges are put forth in the next year." Vocal gives a small chuckle and I continue. "I am a vagabond when it comes to writing. I go wherever the winds of inspiration take me. I will say, in all of my writing, I like creating emotions, setting scenes with tension, and letting the story take me where it will." For the first time on the stage, I feel almost comfortable.

"What skills do you want to hone?" Vocal asks, not missing a beat.

"All of them." This time it's the audience who chuckles. Vocal waits but picks up on the hint when I don't go on.

"How often will you write?" I pause here not sure how much detail I want to give.

"My job prohibits me from writing as much as I would like. My average work week is between 65 and 70 hours long with an hour and fifteen minutes of commute time each day. Because of that most of my writing happens on weekends, usually 4-5 hours each Saturday and Sunday. My most productive time when my mind seems to be at its creative best is early in the morning or late at night if I'm a couple of bourbons in. But in general, I will write as much as I can." Vocal gives me a nod, then asks.

"How often will you read other creators' work?"

"Again, as much as I can and not nearly as much as they deserve. I wish I could sit around all day reading the gifted writers on the platform. I never knew there was so much talent out in the world just waiting to be seen." The crowd claps and I wait for the sound to die down before I continue. "My goal is to support more than I have been supported. So far, I have fallen short of that goal. Early on in my time on the platform, I didn't appreciate the gift of reading other creators. I have worked very hard to change that. Most of all I am committed to returning a read to anyone who takes the time to comment on one of my stories."

"Speaking of other creators, who will you collaborate/connect with on the platform?"

"There are so many creators I would love to collaborate with, too many to mention. I have already connected with a few amazing writers who blow me away with their ability." I fold my hands and put them in my lap. "This next year I would love to connect with any creator who is willing to share their creativity." Vocal shuffles the papers in their lap, then asks.

"How will you support other creators?"

"By staying active in the Facebook groups I've joined and continuing to read, like, and comment on great stories, articles, and poems."

"How will the platform's challenges help shape your creative journey?"

"By taking me on a journey themselves. The best thing about the challenges is not knowing what the next one is going to be. Each one has taken me in a new direction I wasn't expecting to go in before they came out. Even when it's a challenge that's right in my wheelhouse the subject is often not one I would have chosen. Take for instance the Uncommon challenge. Free verse poetry is my writing home, but I never would have sat down to write a poem about something rare. And, though my poem entitled Not Anymore didn't win or even place it is one of the pieces I am most proud of. " Vocal looks up, our eyes meet, and I have the sneaking suspicion I've said something that's resonated with them.

"Is there a specific piece you want to finish or work on?" Vocal reaches up and adjusts their glasses as I prepare to answer.

"At any given time, I have at least twenty unfinished poems on the site, and I would love to finish every one. But specifically, I have a couple of continuing stories such as The Redeemer I would like to write and finish more chapters of in the coming year."

"And, just like that, our interview has flown by. We've reached our last question and your final message to our audience. So, Invisi, what do you want your impact on the platform to be?" I shift in my seat as the buzzing of my nerves returns. Words escape me as a thousand thoughts crowd into my head. Vocal gives me another of their patented smiles and says.

"Don't keep us waiting in anticipation, Invisi what effect would you like to have on our audience and all of those who will visit your work this coming year?"

"No effect at all. That is to say, I want anyone who reads my work to decide whatever effect it will have on them, themselves. I may write a piece with one meaning in my mind and a reader may find a completely different meaning in the words. My goal. I think any writer's goal is to have someone see a piece of their own life in their writing. To identify with it in some way that is uniquely theirs." I swallow and hope I didn't fumble too badly with my answer. Pushing through knowing I'm almost off of the hot seat I go on.

"As far as impact, I wouldn't even know how to answer. I'm just happy and thankful for each time someone reads my work. I would love to have all the success in the world, but just one person saying that something I wrote took their breath away or that they got lost in the lines of a story is enough for me." Vocal nods at me before they stand and turn to the audience.

"Let's give a big round of applause for, Invisi." My throat closes and tears threaten at the edges of my eyes when the audience erupts in the loudest cheer of the night. I stand shakily humbled by the experience. I am a shy, introvert who rarely puts themselves out there for strangers to see. Get to know me enough to get past my safeguards and I'm the life of the party. But people I don't know, oh hell no.

The audience dies down and Vocal turns to me extending their hand. I shake it with my own. Then they smile and mouth the words thank you. With that, I take a last look at the audience, who feel like friends now, and raise my hand in a wave before I walk off the stage.

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