Writing is Freedom.

My therapist says that I don’t process anything until I’ve written about it.

Some people are visual thinkers- they need to see the problem and draw out all of the possible solutions. Others are audio processors- they like to talk about their problems, hear responses from peers and get a grip on things that way. But Me?

I need to write every single thing down in order for it to fully get through my noggin.

SO, you can be certain I always have a notebook and pen on me.

Honestly, it is the main reason I carry a purse. Well, that, and because I like having emergency items like hand sanitizer, band-aids, chapstick and snacks within reach at all times. Just girly things :)

But, back to my point, which is that writing has always been my preferred method of expressing myself, because writing where I feel my voice is clearest and most understood.

When I'm writing- my walls come down. When I'm writing I am free to be exactly who I am.

So, maybe it's a little selfish, but I write for my own sanity. And in the process of writing and sharing some of my most vulnerable thoughts, and reading those of others, I have learned-

That I am no where near as alone as I thought I was.

and that I am in fact, and have always been, in very good company on this planet.

Because, when we share our stories and our dreams, our fears and our shame- we open the door for others to do so. And when we open that door we come to learn that we're all a lot more similar than we've been taught.

Our differences have been used as an excuse for hatred and violence for so long that we forgot the things that we all have in common.

We are all afraid. We are all struggling. We all want to be safe and nourished. We all want to be accepted and respected as we are. And we all have the ability to be some level of cruel to anyone or anything that threatens what we have come to know as our personal truth.

Yes all of us. Yes all of it.

And freedom is knowing that we are all allowed to decide, over and over, who we are, what we care about, and what we're willing to do with that information.

I know I'm a writer because the written word is the how I personally am able to make sense of all of these things.

I, like many many others, am living with mental illness.

Mac Miller said it right in his song Blue World...

"My mind, it goes, it goes

It goes, it goes, it goes

Well, this a mad world, it made me crazy"

My mind has the ability to go and go and go and go- until it hurts- andstill it keeps going.

Historically, this has been debilitating- until I learned to put it all down on paper.

Writing freed me from decades of relentless thought patterns that previously led only to one place- an absolute spiral. Because writing puts the power back in my hands (quite literally).

As the late great Fred Rogers once said:

"Anything that's human is mentionable, and anything that is mentionable can be more manageable. When we can talk about our feelings, they become less overwhelming, less upsetting, and less scary. The people we trust with that important talk can help us know that we are not alone"

Writing my truth out here is me trusting you. Thank you for helping me to know I'm not alone- whether I'm at the top of my game or the lowest of lows. I know I'm being my truest self.

If that isn't freedom I don't know what is.