What it Means to Love
Do you know what it means to truly love someone? The emotions, the feelings, and the purity of it all? Love isn’t perfect but you’ll know when you find the one. However, this is for you. I stand by you through sickness and in health.
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Do you know what it means to truly be in love?
The feeling of happiness embellishing every part of your skin as the embroidery of your lover stitches their way into the very fabric of your heart. Maybe we were just meant to be from the very beginning.
Do you know why I smile?
It’s because your eyes light up a thousand worlds and thousand rooms when you enter. The way the sun is illuminating your face, highlighting every perfect imperfection as your soft lips curve into a beautiful smile that I can’t help but mimic.
Do you know why listening to you is like music to my ears?
Because when you laugh, it brings such a heartwarming feeling that seems to be imprinted into my very soul. The way you playfully tease me with words that are only meant for me to hear and jokes that never fail to brighten my mood.
We walk through an enchanting field of flowers. Almost as if we’ve walked straight into a fairytale. I watch our hands as we carefully graze over them, trying not to disturb them.
Do you want to know why I’m holding your hand and hold you close every time?
I want to remember your touch. The way your larger hands flawlessly engulf and mold into my own. The softness of your skin, memorizing every beauty mark or blemish I come across. You’re my missing piece and I yearn for you when you’re not around. You find it comforting.
Do you know why I kiss you every chance I get?
I want to remember the taste of your lips against my own and kiss your worries and tears away when you’re feeling down. I want to know if your passion for me still burns bright when we’re amongst others as if we were alone. I want you to miss me and know that I’ll be there for you through hell and back.
We stop near wild gorgeous marigold flowers.
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You say, “They remind me of you.”
So of course, I playfully retort with a sly smile, “I was thinking the same thing about you.”
Seeing you roll your eyes simply sends me into a short-lived fit of laughter. You hold onto my hand, a bit too roughly when you buckle over to hold your stomach. You always do this when you laugh too hard.
“You’re something else.” You say in between chuckles but that soon turns into violent fits of coughing. I become stoic and immediately grab ahold of your shoulders. Your legs are weak and I ease both of us to the ground. I stare at you and you disappointedly turn away from me thinking you somehow ruined the moment.
You never do.
I see the dark circles around your eyes. This sickness has definitely taken its toll on you and it crushes my spirit remembering all the times I stayed with you in the hospital.
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With tears brimming my eyes I whisper, “Like these flowers, you’ll continue to bloom. You’ll get better. I know it. I’ll be here with you through everything.”
You smile. It’s contagious and you plant a soft kiss on my lips. I want it to last longer but I know you’re weary. I placed my forehead against yours and rub my thumb over your hand, tracing your visible bluish virescent veins. It always gives you a sense of tranquility. You pull away and I immediately see you plucking a marigold. You gently place a kiss on the flower before tucking it behind my ear.
“I don’t know how you manage to look more beautiful than a flower.”
I faked gasp gingerly, picking another and place it behind your ear.
“Now look at us. We are more beautiful than these flowers.”
You let out a more delicate laugh, nervously wiping your hand on your pants. We take a picture and I let you lean against my shoulder while I brush a hand through your hair that has been struggling to grow back after treatment. I still love it.
“I want to remember you like this because if...I die.”
“Stop.”
I cut you off immediately feeling a heavyweight in my chest.
“No no, please listen.” You make me look you in your eyes. “If I die. I want to die with the memories of your smile and the memories of us in this wonderful field. Heck-“ You throw your hands up with a huge smile. “You better print a photo of your beautiful face and bury it with me so my body could have something amazing with it at all times.”
You laugh. I don’t know how you manage to remain so strong despite the situation. A sad smile is the only smile I could muster at the moment.
I turn to wipe away the upcoming tears but I playfully nod to your request even though it won’t come to that.
Do you know why I weep?
Because one day I know I’ll never see you again and you'll be gone from my loving embrace. When that day comes, that is the day I’ll have nothing left to fill that wicked void in my heart.
“Also.” I turn to you but a smirk is etched across your face. I curiously perk up ready to listen to what you have to say. “If it comes to it. I want to die as your…husband.”
I frown in confusion thinking you're just being silly. Just then you fully turn and shift your entire body to get down on one knee. In your hands lies a velvet box and you slowly open it to reveal a diamond ring.
“Will you marry me?
Do you know why I love you?
Sometimes words of love are too hard to explain. I fell in love with your words. Your touch. Your smile. Your very existence. The way you make me weep tears of joy. You’ve helped me grow. You’ve understood me when no one else did. You were my voice when I had none. I fell in love with you. You helped shape who I am today so of course, I’ll always do the same for you.
You look at me with a soft smile because you already know my answer.
You’re my future, how could you not? We were meant to be from the very beginning.
“Yes, I will!”
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