Unspoken Understanding

I look up and spy him just mere inches from where I lay propped in the bed, reading my book. He’s elegantly situated just down from me. His step was so soft and silent, I didn’t hear or feel him as he entered the room and jumped onto the bed. He’s such a beautiful, sweet boy. So soft, sleek and elegant with every move he makes.

It’s obvious that he’s more than comfortable on the soft woolen blanket thrown along the bed’s edge. I suppose, in actuality, it’s really his blanket because he lays on it so often, the better to be near to me when I’m home. I know the blanket’s warmth comforts him in the colder months for he’s always been a cold natured feline, ever since that cold, rainy February night when he showed up on my doorstep begging to enter the warmth of my home. He's told me time and again that he picked me on that night long ago. He's also never let me live it down that, as unbelievable as it may be, it took a bit of work on his part to convince me as to just how fortunate I was to be his chosen protector.

The color of the blanket makes his already blue eyes appear an even deeper shade of sapphire. They sparkle with the same intensity and intelligence they’ve always had, but I recognize that their depths have grown even more beautiful and wise with each passing year. His air is a cavalier, proud one, big enough to encompass the room; he knows how splendid he is. His pose resembles a mythological creature or god of ancient Egypt, especially with his tail and paws tucked ever so neatly beneath his lean frame. He watches me closely, without ceasing and rarely blinking. A profound understanding emanates between us.

My heart swells, and I smile a smile borne of unadulterated love and pure appreciation for his beauty. In response, his eyes narrow ever so slightly and he blinks, his way of telling me how much I am loved. We’ve always been able to communicate beyond the human language, always had a strong mental connection. It's a gift of telepathy that flows without effort between us. Without fail, we can understand what the other is thinking and not utter the first syllable or word.

My heart warms as I stare into his blue eyes, and then it falters as I’m reminded how long he’s already lived. His health has worsened. He is not as spry as he once was, and those damned asthmatic lungs have grown even weaker this winter. A lump forms in my throat. I know days are most likely numbered.

“You cannot leave me,” my mind utters in denial and overwhelming despair as I return his stare in full measure. “I won’t know what to do. If you go, my heart will surely break beyond repair.”

He blinks at me again, and I know it’s an attempt to reassure me that all will be well. The wise, old, indigo colored eyes are filled with an intensity beyond the average ken; they convey both regret and acceptance for things yet to come, as well as a depth of love that’s nearly unfathomable.

“Remember that you are stronger than you know.” I know what his eyes are saying in response. “Though my physical body may one day no longer be with you, I will always live in the depths of your soul. I will never truly leave you.”

My eyes fill with tears. This special feline has always been my spirit animal and once he’s gone, I know I will feel utterly bereft and alone. I reach out and stroke his long orange-tipped white fur. “As long as you know there will never be another like you. You are a once in a lifetime gift. While others may cross my path and be loved, no other will ever replace you or ever be as special.”

I lean over to pet him. At my light touch, a strong purr ensues, filling the airways, and he seems to smile contentedly as he relaxes, his body curling in pleasure at my touch as he rubs against my outstretched hand.

“Remember that you must visit me after you’re gone. We have a pact, you and I, that whoever goes first, the other will return to visit. Do not forget our promise.” My sad faces forms a smile with some effort.” Well, there is no doubt whatsoever that I’ll still be able to hear that loud purr of yours no matter where you are in this world or the next.” I continued to stroke his soft fur with a desire to convey both my thoughts as well as my appreciation for his warm, loving response.

His purr grows increasingly louder as he thrusts his head against my hand, telling me how good it feels and begging me to pet him more. His eyes are clear, cognizant and filled with affection. He gaze assures me he understands completely. He will not forget our pact.

Contentment floods my being. I know the bond we share is inseparable and will survive to reach beyond the unknown. The love I feel for this special gift that was entrusted to me so many years ago knows no bounds.

It's been two years since he left my world and moved on to new flower strewn meadows where I know he's chasing butterflies. Still, sometimes, late at night, I awake to the haunting echo of his purr and it resonates in full measure deep within the walls of my heart. It's as though the night has lent wings to his voice and he's able to tell me in the same thread of an unspoken understanding how much he misses and loves me. Those nights are special for, even from the unknown, I know I am not forgotten, and just as promised, he has come for a visit.