On Murphy's Law

In the complex world, in the rapid development of society today, we always have to face a variety of opportunities and challenges, a variety of competition and under pressure, it can be said that in many cases, we have no time for our hearts.

But like a gyroscope rotating at high speed, we often do not imagine that the things we want to do and should do things well, but often pay a lot, but there is no gain, but also to toss themselves physically and mentally exhausted.

Such a situation can occur, mainly because although we are used to many things, but do not know the truth, and do not know those laws of life and psychology-related knowledge.

Murphy's Laws are the essence of people's summaries from a thousand different lives. It can help us to learn some theoretical knowledge of psychology to guide our life and work.

01 Small probability events, hidden in human nature that can not be ignored

It is the inherent weakness of human beings to be prone to make mistakes. Anyone, even more intelligent, it is impossible to do everything perfectly.

To be successful, we can't take any chances and don't think of ways to avoid mistakes. Instead, we must face our mistakes and learn from them, so that they can become stepping stones on the road to success.

It is often said that failure is the mother of success, which is probably the same reason. Because often, we learn from trial and error, not from the right.

Because mistakes are more impact, they will draw attention and reflection and can lead us to think more about the details of things.

Only by making more mistakes and reflecting on them will we make more progress. As Jedrzejski squared, "If you want to hit, first be prepared to miss."

However, in real life, whenever we make mistakes, most of us usually react by saying, "Really, how can I be wrong again", "Why am I so unlucky, I am so annoyed" because we always think that we can escape from these mistakes and bad luck and failures. mistakes and bad luck, failure, and other bad things.

But it never occurs to us that mistakes are a great impetus to our thinking and creative change.

Edison went through tens of thousands of materials that could not be used as filaments before finding the most suitable tungsten filament; Kepler discovered the concept of interplanetary gravity for the wrong reason ......

So, if we want to succeed, we have to put down our luck and strengthen our spirit of adventure first.

Don't be afraid to make mistakes, don't be afraid to be wrong, things are often the more we are afraid of being wrong the more we will be wrong. From where we fall, we get up again.

When we encounter mistakes and failures, do not be discouraged, to learn from experience, and learn to think, but also try to find new ideas and new ways. Gain and loss are not absolute, not to mention eternal, but can be transformed into each other.

02 the best way to get along, is to keep a moderate distance from each other

Biologists once did an experiment in which a dozen hedgehogs were put outdoors in a vacant lot in winter, and the hedgehogs were frozen and shivering.

But the cold makes them come together again and again, and after a few iterations, they finally find an optimal position, keeping a certain distance from each other, not to be stung by each other, but to maximize each other's warmth.

This hedgehog law is also suitable for human interaction.

For example, we take the bus or squeeze the subway every day, and no matter how crowded, we will be particularly concerned about the distance between others and ourselves.

When someone is too close to you, you will escape the displeasure of this infinite proximity by adjusting your position, but if the space is crowded with people, you can not change your position, you will use indifference to endure the displeasure of the heart so that it looks a little wooden.

There is a psychologist, who has also experimented.

In a library that has just opened, when there is only one reader inside, the experimenter went in and took a chair, and sat next to the reader.

This experiment was conducted a full 80 times. The results proved that in a library with only two patrons, none of the tested patrons could tolerate a stranger sitting right next to them.

These readers did not know that the experiment was being done, and some would choose to silently move away and change their position again, while others would directly ask the experimenter, "What the hell do you want?"

Any person needs his or her own independent space.

This space is the space that we - ourselves can grasp the self, if this space is offended, we will feel insecure, uncomfortable, and even irritated by it.

So, in real life, in human interaction, we must remember one thing, which is to grasp the appropriate distance of interaction.

Like the warm hedgehogs, we should be able to consciously choose the best distance to interact with people, it is best to both warm and care for each other, but also to maintain a safe and independent personal space.

03 All the changes come from the other you in the subconscious

Once, a psychologist named James, and his best friend made a bet, he said his best friend will raise a bird. But his friend laughed as soon as he heard it and made it clear that this was impossible and that he didn't have such an idea at all.

Soon after, James gave his friend a beautiful birdcage for his birthday. The friend teased, "You're undying, but you're going to be disappointed." But the friend expressed his gratitude and hung the birdcage inside his study.

But since then, every visitor would ask him if the bird he kept had died, and would discuss with him some knowledge about bird-keeping.

He bought a bird and put it in the birdcage to avoid answering the same question repeatedly every time.

This is the famous birdcage effect James is using the knowledge of psychology, and his best friend to make a joke.

But this phenomenon in our lives is also very common.

We will always unconsciously in their hearts, first hanging up a bird cage, and then will involuntarily filling a small bird inside.

Xian Lou recently encountered a similar situation, Xian Lou left a company and entered a new company. But he has been in the habit of working overtime every day in the previous company.

After arriving at the new company, because he wanted to understand some business processes of the company, Xian Lou wanted to adapt to the new job as soon as possible, so he still insisted on working late every day.

However, who knows, in the new company, no one is in the habit of working overtime. Therefore, for Xian Lou to work overtime every day and was also late, people began to talk about the situation.

Some people said, the daily workload is not too big, but also have to work late, is not the ability to have problems, others said, is not trying to rub the company's electricity to the Internet, and some people guessed that Xian Lou is not in the company to do private work for themselves ......

When this phenomenon reached the boss's ears, it was even more unpleasant. The boss's first instinct was that Xian Lou was not a spy sent by a competing company and that overtime was not for spying on the company's secrets.

In the end, Xian Lou did not enter the work quickly as expected, but also very passive separation.

In the workplace, if there is no real ability, even if the whole day over time, and will not reap any goodwill from their colleagues and leaders. We have to learn to use the existing time and do the most valuable use.

Overtime is just a form, but also may damage the quality of our lives, and our health, and then ultimately affect the quality of work.

So, very often, we have to learn to remove the birdcage in our minds and strive to improve our skills, rather than falling into some kind of self-moving fixed mode.

04

Written in the end.

In real life, we can understand the psychology of various clairvoyant psychology through some popular readings, such as books like "Murphy's Law" which have rich cases.

It can help us solve the confusion in work and life, and beta one successful person who understands psychology can socialize and is full of power to deal with the world.

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