Navigating Life's Twists and Turns: A Tale of Disappointment, Adaptation, and Unrequited Love
Journeying through Life’s Ups and Downs
Year 2014, the month was July. I had just started my career back then. I was only 24 years old at the time. Two years ago, I had graduated from university with a beautiful dream of a successful career, and I had worked hard for those two years. Finally, I reaped the rewards of my efforts, but I had started working in a city I didn't want to be in. The city I started working in was quite closed off compared to Ankara, where I grew up. People were living more traditionally, shaping their lives within certain rules. On the other hand, I had grown up in a more liberal environment and embraced a relaxed lifestyle.
When I moved to this city, I immediately rented a place for myself. I had a few days left before starting work. I needed to organize my life and have a clear mind as I stepped into my professional life. After setting up the order in my home, the day of my first job finally arrived. In the middle of July, I carefully dressed in my best suit, shaved, and left home with a happy demeanor.
Until the age of 24, I had experienced many disappointments. Buying a pair of shoes only to find out they were of poor quality, ex-girlfriends whose love faded away, and many other disappointments. However, there had never been anything that disappointed me as much as my first day at work. In the company I went to with great hopes, I met an unqualified manager, incompatible coworkers, and boring colleagues. In addition to the suffocating feeling in the new city I had moved to, I was faced with an unexpected outcome in my professional life that saddened me.
When I went home that evening, I didn't know what to do. Should I resign? However, I am a patient person. I know how to deal with difficulties. I managed to be patient.
I also had an unrequited love in Ankara. Of course, I had ended up feeling lonely in this small town and was looking for an escape. The intensity of my infatuation had been increasing. In the songs I listened to and the movies I watched, I always felt like I was with her. When I came to Ankara, we used to meet. I would tell myself that maybe she wasn't indifferent to me. On a warm July night, we were chatting on WhatsApp, the conversation progressed, and we opened up various topics. There have always been important points in romantic relationships. You need to capture that point very well and use your finishing moves with the right strategy to set sail for new loves. I rushed to bring the ship into the harbor and missed the optimal moment. I hastily revealed my feelings to her. As a result, the ship started taking on water before it could dock. As you can understand, I took a hit from this. I started my professional life in a bad city and ended my relationship before it even began.
Life loves to play games with you when you're 24. Your university life is over, and you start working. Expecting life to be like university is a bit greedy. Whether your professional life turns out rosy depends on your luck. I had exhausted my luck by living an incredible university life. It felt like my professional life was getting back at me. I felt trapped, as if I had been cornered. I struggled to communicate with people who were so different from me.
Days and months had passed. Human nature is highly adaptable. You start to adapt to the environment you live in. I, too, started to adapt. Of course, not in a more traditional way. This change happened by becoming introverted and cutting off my communication with people. Have you ever felt like you were in a glass bubble? Have you ever felt isolated from everyone? Did this situation make you happy? It made me very happy. That's how I had become. Living like a Japanese fish in a glass bubble, isolated from its surroundings.
After a long time, I ran into my unrequited love at a party. She was ignoring me. I ignored her as well. Later, we reluctantly talked to each other. I felt guilty for showing her my love. She must have felt guilty for not being able to show her love for me. We talked about trivial matters and bid each other farewell with good wishes, drifting apart.
She was on my mind for a while. I thought maybe one day the barriers between us would be lifted, and we would be together, but it didn't happen. A few days ago, when I was going to work in Ankara, I saw her on the metro. She was sitting right across from me. Who knows what had happened in our lives during the past 9 years? She was the first one to notice me. We got off at the same stop and had a brief chat on the spot. Pointing to the ring on my left hand, she asked, "When did you get married?" I replied, "It's been four years." She hadn't gotten married. She said she was busy advancing her academic career.
This strange coincidence revived memories that were starting to fade away. I wanted to share them with you.
Stay well and take care.
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