Laid Off

I was so excited to join this company. I could see it as the job that got me where I really wanted to go. I was told that stock potential was huge, promotions happened quickly, and it would not take long for me to advance. I was hopeful for my future.

It took a little bit, but slowly problems started to surface.

Leadership would erractically pull us from one task to another, never letting us follow up on the previous projects or contact the customer we had been working with to let them know about the change, telling us to ignore the emails we received because the new project was taking precedence.

Third party partnerships were not taking the same care with our customers as we did. Logistics was not doing a good job. Complaints were coming in. Slowly, incoming orders fell off

The decisions being made seemed to be irrational, reactionary, and not well thought out. I had been a business owner in the past, not to this scale for sure, but the principles are the same. The number of employees shouldn't change that.

I was part of the customer relations team. I love customer service. Connecting with people, listening, then assisting them with whatever issue or concern they had was very satisfying. I even relished the constant change of projects and tried to put aside my feelings that I was abandonning the customers I been connecting with on the previous task.

News and speculation from the outside didn't touch me and I grew to feel protective of the company, hoping they would figure it all out eventually. My positive attitude really assisted me in the day to day of the job, especially once I was told by my manager that I was being moved over to the service side of the customer relations team.

That meant I would be dealing with problems, not inquiries, troubleshooting, not guiding, talking down off the ledge, not information gathering. I resisted at first as I knew customers were having a lot of problems with the product, but once I had training, I was truly enjoying taking calls, engaging with customers, empathizing, and hopefully resolving whatever issue they called in about.

I made some wonderful connections with these customers. I also was yelled at, sworn at, and had my intelligence called into question. And I took it all for the belief in the company and in the service I was providing.

Little by little, our tools to assist the customers were taken away. We we not notified by the higher ups of these changes, but when we would go to use them we saw they were no longer an option. That should have been a clue as to how they would treat us.

The job got harder and harder. We truly had to think way outside of the box to assist our customers as we developed even greater rapport with them. So many wonderful customers I had the pleasure of speaking would ask how WE were doing and express their appreciation of us.

I learned so much about myself while honing my customer service skills. I also learned that I was deluding myself. I trusted leadership to guide the company in a professional manner, to succeed in order to protect not only the employees that put their trust in them, but in the customers who did as well.

As things got bad, we started having weekly company updates from the higher ups. I was set to work that day from 10-7 but jumped on the meeting that was scheduled for 7am.

There was talk of another round of layoffs. Interestingly, I wasn't even concerned. I had made it through 4 rounds of lay offs and was confident that the small customer relations that was left would be a requirement.

I was wrong.

After the meeting, I tried to open up one of the apps our company used for internal communication. I couldn't login. I tried all of the apps I had on my phone for work and nothing was letting me in. I took out my work computer and could not even get past the sign in.

I received an email from HR nearly 30 minutes AFTER I was supposed to clock in for my shift letting me know I was laid off. After what I gave, what we all gave, to the company, it was like a slap in the face. No exit interview, no discussion, just locked out.

In the days following all I could do was sleep. I drank wine, binged series, and wondered what would come next after this. It took weeks before I realized I was grieving.

To have something like that happen that is totally out of your control. It is not like being let go because of team 'redirection' or management changes, or from your own choice to move on.

It is like death.

I miss the work. I miss the team. I miss how we all came together and made each other laugh as little by little the tools we had at our disposal to assist customers were taken away.

I had my own business close. That was my choice. And it was for the best. I had never been in this sort of situation before. One where any number of us saw how resources were mismanaged, and how the failing of a company did not have to happen.

Some of my former coworkers have moved on, gotten other jobs. I am still looking. And it is strange to think that the hopes I had when I was hired have disappeared. Part of me does not even know if I can start over again. Or if I can trust it if I do.