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Over the next two years, Matt and Jessie became really good friends. Somewhere over the years, Matt had fallen in love with Jessie and his feelings were only getting stronger with time.
Matt never mentioned this to her, even though his friends had teased him about it. But he didn’t want to screw up their friendship. Sometimes he wondered if he should tell her but didn’t know if she had felt the same way.
~
One night, Jessie was on her way home from her friend Frankie’s house when a drunk driver ran through a red light and hit Jessie's car. Jessie had hit her head of both the steering wheel and the door. The impact of the car crash had caused Jessie’s car to spin. To Jessie, this felt like forever. Jessie finally got a hold of her vehicle and came to a stop.
What she didn’t realize was she stopped on the wrong side of the road, in oncoming traffic. Where she heard a horn blaring, couldn’t tell if that was her or someone else, and a beam of lights getting brighter and brighter. Suddenly hit Jessie’s car and the impact caused it to flip. The car flipped threw three-four times in the air before crashing back down on the road.
People from the other cars ran to Jessie's to help her, to see if she was still alive. When seeing that she is still alive, people smashed her windows and trying to open up her car doors to be able to pull her out. They had to do this quickly because the car started smoking. They had to get her out of the vehicle before it becomes engulfed in flames and blow up.
The firefighters arrived and pulled her out of the car before it had exploded.
'I can hear people calling to me... It feels so cold... Why am I so cold?' The paramedics found Jessie's pulse, but barely. Paramedics were trying to talk to Jessie, but she wasn’t very responsive.
“Miss, we need you to stay with us, ok? Can you tell us your name?”
'Everything hurt so much. It's all so blurry. It's so dark. Everything on fire. I'm so cold. I can hear people talking to me, but I don't know how to respond or talk.'
"We need to go; she's not going to make it!” They put her into the ambulance and raced to the hospital. The paramedics had a hard time stabilizing her. She died twice on the way to the hospital.
“Miss, stay with us!” The one paramedic told her.
One paramedic found her phone and went through it to find someone to call. The paramedic had called the last person she messaged; Matt. Matt was at home having dinner with his family when he got the call.
All the colour drained from his face when hearing the paramedic say; "Hello? I’m. a paramedic. The owner of this phone was in a car accident. She's on her way to the hospital."
Matt didn’t know what to do. He was shocked, in disbelief. His dad had taken the phone from Matt. He just stood there while his father had talked to the paramedic on the phone.
"A drunk driver hit Jes's car. They can’t stabilize her," Matt’s dad said, hanging up the phone. “Matt, we need to go.”
Matt ran into the emergency, Jessie's parents and family had arrived moments before him. Then her body was being rushed through the hospital doors.
"Need a crash cart and an O.R. stat!" a paramedic yelled coming in.
At this point, a swarm of the hospital staff swarmed Jessie with crash carts and rushed her up to the O.R.
"What’s going on?" Jessie's dad said worryingly. At this point, no one would answer their questions.
It was 9-12 hours before the O.R doctor came out. Everyone’s paced around, impatiently waiting.
"She's finally stable. She suffered a head injury. We won't know how bad it is till she wakes up. Jessie also suffered some broken ribs, a broken arm and collarbone. She also has broken hand; leg and her pelvis were shattered. But we did our best on putting her bones back into place and reconstruct her back together.".
"Ca-ca-can I see her?" Matt asked.
"The family can go see her, yes," The doctor said.
"Matt can go in," her father said.
Walking into Jessie's room, Matt didn't really know what to expect. The devastation on his face was palpable. Matt spent night after night in the room with her, waiting for her to wake up.
For the next couple of weeks, Matt and her two best friends Frankie and Elizabeth came before and after work. At one point to pass the time they would sing songs, without knowing it actually was helping Jessie. Her nurses stated that even though Jessie was in a coma, she could still hear everything that is happening around her.
After about five weeks Jessie had started slowly waking up. It started with a twitch in her foot. Then slowly her fingers would twitch, and her hands would close. It wasn't until another week where Jessie finally had woken up.
Jessie tried to talk but wasn’t able to get anything out. Matt called for the nurse: "She's awake!! Jessie woke up!! Nurse!"
'Everyone seems so happy but is so sad at the same time,' Jessie thought to herself.
Jessie spent the next three months relearning how to talk and feed herself. After another month of rehab, Jessie was able to go home. These three to four months were extremely difficult. Not just for Jessie but for her friends. Matt has been there the most for Jessie since he’s the one that is able to get her to do the most and help calm her down.
One of Matt’s and Jessie’s mutual friends, Jeff, has been coming along with Matt to come to see Jessie while she was in the hospital. He mostly just come to visit her and see how she is doing.
After Jessie was released from the hospital Matt came to pick her up. Since the accident, Jessie has been a little timid about vehicles. It actually took a while for Matt, Jeff, and Frankie to convince Jessie to get in the car.
Once Jessie was in the car, she had felt a little better knowing that Matt was driving. She had felt more comfortable whenever Matt was around. But once they had started driving Jessie started to have an anxiety attack.
“Jes, it’s ok,” Matt looked over and tried to reassure her.
The whole ride home Jessie was skittish especially with every vehicle that was turning or crossing to the other side. When they had reached the outskirts of town someone had cut them off to the point where Matt had to slam on his breaks and horn. -That was the tip of the ice burg- Jessie at that moment had grabbed Matt’s leg with a grip and gasped.
Jessie didn’t even give Matt a chance to come to a complete stop before she was out of the car and started to throw up on someone’s lawn. Matt had got out of the car himself and ran around to Jessie and held her hair back.
Once she stops vomiting Matt had pulled her in to hug her; “It’s ok, babe. I’m here.”
When they pulled up to the house Jessie was more than relieved to get out of the car. She was so happy that she didn’t bother waiting for someone to help her. Jessie practically ran out of the car so fast she almost fell face first.
Jessie was relieved to finally be home. No more nurses and doctors and everyone standing over her shoulder telling her what to do. She could finally relax a little better now that she was home.
Her friends practically moved in over the next few months to help Jessie settle in at home and to make sure she was ok. The thing was they were so preoccupied with keeping her physically healthy they forgot to check in on her mentally. So, Jessie felt like she was overwhelmed. Even though she was at home, it never felt like she was home.
~
One morning Elizabeth and Derek were over helping with Jessie. Jessie was already having a bad start to her day. Between the pain and nightmares, Jessie hardly slept the night before. Jessie was having a hard time moving around this morning.
Jessie had made it to the bottom of the stairs and Jessie being stubborn didn’t want to use her walker or cane. So, when she tried to walk into the kitchen and Jessie’s leg had given out and fell on the floor.
Jessie did have her cane but wasn’t really using it. Elizabeth came running over to see if she was ok.
“What are you doing?” exclaimed Elizabeth. “Why aren’t you using your cane?”
“Because I Don’t want to. Okay?” replied Jessie.
“You have to be careful. We can’t keep having you fall,” Elizabeth worryingly said.
“Oh, boo-hoo. I’m fine,” snapped Jessie.
“Clearly not, since you’re on the floor,” Elizabeth had snapped back
“Oh, fuck off,” said Jessie.
“Here. Let me help yo—” Elizabeth was trying to help Jessie up off the floor.
“I don’t want your fucking help!” Jessie tried to make that clear.
“Look, I just want to help you up and make sure you didn’t hurt anything,” exclaimed Elizabeth.
“No! I don’t want your help. Leave me alone! I can get myself up off the floor,” Jessie now getting annoyed with everything around her.
“Come on,” Elizabeth tries to sympathize with Jessie. “At least use the can to help yourself stand up.”
“Oh my god,” Jessie now getting agitated, takes the can and puts it through the wall then throws it. “I said I don’t want your fucking help and this stupid cane.”
“What the fuck is your problem?!” yelled Elizabeth.
“You! You are my problem,” Jessie snapped back and trying to stand herself up. “You won’t fucking leave me alone.”
Jessie has so much anger built up between her body being broken; she needs people to help her and she doesn’t want it and the car accident completely.
“You know what? I’m done. I’m fucking call Matt and he can deal with your fucking ass,” said Elizabeth throwing her hands up and leaving the room. At this point, Elizabeth had enough of her bad days and her outbursts.
“What the fuck. No! You can’t call him!” Jessie said nervously.
“Why? You're afraid of what he’s going to say or do when he comes to find you on the fucking floor. Again?” Elizabeth replied cockily. “You know he’s going to freak out on the fact that you’re being a brat.”
Before she could say anything, Derek had enough watching them scream at each other and Jessie try to stand up on her own. Derek picked her up off the floor and put her at the kitchen table.
“You know what I had enough of you two screaming at each other every other fucking day,” said Derek annoyed. “Elizabeth you seriously need to back the fuck off. Jessie, you need to chill the fuck out.”
Just as Derek is saying this Matt walks into the room.
“What’s going on?” Matt asked, concerned.
“Jessie fall again. Then these two got into a screaming match,” Derek explained
“Hey, you ok?” Matt had asked Jessie and sat next to her.
Jessie looked like she was going to cry. Sniffled and said without making eye contact: “I’m fine.”
Matt had put his hand on her cheek to try and turn her head so he could see her face: “Hey, talk to me.”
Jessie had pushed his hand away: “There’s nothing to talk about.”
“Well, clearly there is,” Matt said. ‘Come on Jes. Please talk to me.”
“I don’t want to talk about it,” Jessie said trying very hard at this point to not cry.
Jessie always feels alone. Matt, Elizabeth, and everyone is always around but on the inside, Jessie feels alone. It always feels like everyone is hounding her about things. Like she gets they are trying to help but no one can ever give her a break and let her breathe.
It always feels like they all want to pick a fight with her. There’s not one for her talk to about this and no one will listen even if she tried.
“You know what, Jes? If you keep pushing people away, no one is going to come around anymore. And you’re going to fall and break a bone, and no one is going to be around to pick you up,” Matt also had enough.
“If you don’t want to be here then just leave!” yelled Jessie tried not to cry. “No one is making you stay. No is making you be here. If it’s too much to be here, then fucking leave!”
“Seriously, Jes?” said Matt. “Why are you doing this?”
“Doing what? I’m not doing anything. Sorry, I got into a car accident and I’m such a fucking burden on you,” Jessie couldn’t hold back the tears no more.
Matt had enough, stormed out and punched the wall on the way out; “You know what, I can’t do this right now.”
“You can never do this right now! You always have an excuse just to fucking leave!” replied Jessie.
Elizabeth and Derek followed Matt out the door. Once everyone was gone, she swiped everything off of the table on the floor and started to cry even harder.
“For fuck sakes,” Jessie said trying to pick everything back up off the floor.
Jessie didn’t hear from anyone all day; not like she was trying to talk to anyone anyways. Jessie was washing her face and getting ready for bed. As she was looking into the mirror, she was playing with her anti-depression pill bottle- she also had a couple of drinks already.
‘What’s the point of everything, the point of friends if they’re not always around. Where they really friends? What’s the point of life?’ Jessie had so many thoughts going through her head.
Jessie was afraid of going to sleep, afraid of even closing her eyes in fear of reliving that night.
“I can’t take it anymore,” Jessie says to herself. As she takes the cap off the pill bottle and takes the whole bottle and washes it down with the bottle of wine. Jessie had laid down and soon after had fallen asleep.
Matt had felt bad about what had happened the day before. He knew that wasn’t her talking. The next morning Matt tried to call and text her a few times but no answer. So, Matt drove over to her house to check in on her.
“Jes?” Matt called out. “You’re up early.”
Matt had walked to the kitchen to find a vase for the flowers. He realized it was awfully quiet, even though the T.V was on. He walked towards the living room where the T.V was on and seen the open pill bottles and the wine bottle that was knocked over.
“No! no,no,no,no,no! Jessie!” Matt says in hysterics and tries to check for a pulse. He can’t find one.
“Oh, god. No! Jessie! Fuck off! Wake up, please. Please wake up!” Matt says in hysterics trying to shake a bit to wake her up.
Matt calls 911.
“Hello, 911. What’s Your Emergency?”
Matt chocks on his words: “I-I-I need and ambulance. My friend- she overdosed.”
“Okay, sir. We’ll have an ambulance on its way.”
When the ambulance came Matt didn’t know what to do. The paramedics told him they were going to try everything they can do to help. It took a couple of minutes, but they were able to find a pulse. It was faint but there was a pulse. The paramedics had put Jessie in the ambulance and Matt had got in with her and raced her to the hospital since they don’t know how much she took or even when she has done it.
“Come on, Jes. Please don’t do this to me,” Matt said grabbing Jessie’s hand and kissing it.
When they got to the hospital there was already a team of medical staff waiting to take her in. Matt had stayed in the waiting room to answer questions. Luckily Jessie had made it the hospital in time, so they were able to clear her system out. It wasn’t long before Jessie had woken up.
The doctors put Jessie on a sedative to keep her in a comma. This way it gave her body a chance to heal. It also kept Jessie safe from trying to harm herself again.
Matt and his cousin, Kevin, were in the hospital sitting with her talking and Matt started to get upset.
Kevin tried to calm him down. But Matt didn’t understand; “Why would she do this? I was there for her every fucking day! Why couldn’t she just talk to me? Did I do something wrong? She’s supposed to be my best friend!”
“Matt! Please calm down. It’s not her fault,” Kevin tried saying but made things worse.
“How is it not her fault?” Matt was getting more upset. “She’s the one that tried to leave!”
“Matt there wasn’t anything you could do.”
Matt got pissed and shoved the patient table: “Fuck.”
Matt had pushed the patient table to the other side of the room.
~
The following day Jessie woke up and she was happy to see Matt was sitting waiting for her to wake up.
“Jes?”
Jessie had to go to rehab for misusing her medications. She apparently had been misusing her medications and mixing it with alcohol since been home from the hospital.
When Jessie was in Rehab, Matt and Sarah broke up because they always argued over Jessie and Matt always chose Jessie over Sarah.
It was a rainy day. On the way home Jessie was looking out the window watching it rain. The rain always calmed her down. Matt spent the time looking at Jessie with such heartbreak to see his best friend lost in her own world and have no idea what to do. Because she wouldn’t talk and when he did try to get her to talk, she tried to kill herself.
‘Is she really that depressed? Why won’t she talk to me? FUCK!’ Matt had thought to himself.
When they pulled up in the driveway Jessie was relieved that no one was here. It was bad enough that this happened to begin with. Jessie sat in the car for a second before even thinking of getting out. Matt had sat quietly next to her waiting for her to be ready.
Jessie had stood in the rain for a min grabbed Matt’s hand and leaned over to put her head on his shoulder: “I’m sorry.”
“I know,” Matt replied softly. “Me too.”
~
Matt checks in on Jessie regularly to keep an eye on her and the fact that Jessie really needs a friend right now. Considering everything that she has gone through, Jessie doesn’t really have many friends left. When he arrived, Jessie was nowhere to be found. This made him feel uneasy.
“Jes?” Matt called out.
When there was no answer, he figured she may have been in bed. Jessie spends most of her time in bed. Matt went in and crawled into bed beside her; "I'm here if you want to talk."
"I feel so alone. I have that night replaying in my head over and over. It won't stop," Jessie says trying hard not to cry. Matt has no idea what to do or say but just to pull her in closer and hold her tight. "I can't sleep because it's like I can never get to the end. To find out what happens. I'm yelling out but no one hears me! I can’t take it anymore."
After hours of crying, Jessie finally fell asleep. This is the first time Jessie was actually able to sleep since she came home from the hospital.
The next morning, Jessie came down to find her friends sitting at the island in the kitchen and Matt was cooking breakfast.
"Morning," said Matt.
"Coffee?" replied Jessie.
"You can't have coffee, Jes," said Derek.
"HAHA. Yes, I can. And I am," replied Jessie as she gets a cup from the cupboard and pours herself a cup of coffee.
"You're not supposed too, and you haven't had coffee in months," Derek stated.
"So, you think. But last time I checked, you don't know what I drink when you leave," Jessie replied sarcastically.
"Hahaha, someone's got jokes," said Derek.
As Jessie walked towards the trash under the sink so everyone could see and laughs: "And besides I have a mommy that brings me my Starbucks and doughnuts. Also, no one said I can't have my coffee."
Everyone kind of gives an awkward laugh. Jessie made herself a coffee, grabbed a banana and went back upstairs
"Really Derek?" said Matt, once Jessie left the room. "What's your problem? What's it to you what she eats and drinks?"
"It doesn't. It was only a joke," said Derek. "I don't see what the problem is."
"The problem is the fact that we're trying to get her to eat more than coffee and a doughnut or a banana a day. She's still a little depressed over the accident and has hardly eaten anything," At this point, Matt was getting pissed off with Derek.
Shortly after that everyone left but Matt stuck around just to clean up a bit and doing some laundry for Jessie. When Matt came up with Jessie’s laundry, he found her in the living room and joined her on the couch.
“Hey,” Matt said sitting next to Jessie.
“Hey.”
Matt and Jessie spent most of the weekend playing video games and eating pizza.
Ever since that night were, Jessie had overdosed Matt practically moved in with Jessie. He was too worried and scared to leave her by herself. He couldn’t stand the thought of ever losing her.
On so many levels did Matt cared for her. Jessie’s one of Matt’s best friends, so it was heartbreaking for him to see her like this. Matt’s also madly in love with her and would do almost everything and anything for her.
“Jes?”
“Yea?”
Matt was a little nervous about asking her this but went with it anyways; “You know I love you right?”
Not paying much attention. Jessie having peanut butter jar in lap with a spoon in mouth and Xbox controller in hand; “Yea, love you too. What’s up?”
“Would you please go to therapy for me?”
Jessie had almost whipped her head over to Matt. She was slightly offended by this question, but she could see the worry on Matt’s face. Jessie agreed and Matt helped her find a good therapist.
After talking to a therapist for a few weeks, Jessie was diagnosed with PTSD, anorexia, depression, and anxiety.
About the Creator
Jen Phillips
Having a creative imagination has no limitations. My favourite past time is just dumping all my thoughts on to paper and seeing where it goes.
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