Reed Alexander's Horror Review of 'Dog Soldiers' (2002)

Why the fuck does this movie look like it was shot in the 80s? Was it intentional? Was the budget so low that they shot on fucking VHS camcorders? Should I treat this movie like a shoe stringer? The cinematography just isn't very good. It's almost 'shakey camera' bad. Not as bad as The Taking of Deborah Logan (2014), but honestly pretty bad. Now, it kinda helps the atmosphere. You can't quite ever see what's going on, so it helps shroud the rubber monsters in shadow and gives them a nice effect. However, it also makes the movie bloody difficult to watch. It's a bit of an eye strain just to see what's going on. The presentation frankly isn't very good.

The rubber monsters themselves look pretty good. I have to wonder if that's because you can barely see them, but you do get lots of close looks and they do look good. Anyway, you can tell they put a lot of excellent effort into the beasts, so bravo for that. It's likely what they blew their camera budget on.

The plot is dumb simple, which is actually good. A military unit goes out on a practice drill then starts getting hunted by something. It's actually quite like Predator (1987). I guess it's okay to mention that they're werewolves without going into the spoilers. There's one right on the cover of basically every movie poster so we all knew what we were getting. The mythos they use is good. The standard stuff: full moon, silver bullets, basically immortal otherwise, you get bit or scratched then you become one. Apparently, they're also sensitive to light for some reason. The simplicity is key here as it doesn't overcomplicate things and lets the story unfold smoothly without massive plot holes.

There're tons of little things that just give me a headache. There's one scene where the female lead tells the group that she knows how to kill them and they basically just ignore her, then she doesn't bring it up again. There's an entire scene devoted to a piano solo, for some fucking reason. Cinema Sins would have a field day with this movie. There were also some continuity errors. The werewolves are photosensitive, and the soldiers are just trying to survive till sunup... but the first attacks occurred during the day, sun high in the sky. So... what's the point of waiting for sunrise? The werewolves clearly don't have that much of a problem with sunlight.

You know, the acting is actually pretty good. They even have some pretty stellar actors. Honestly, the lead was the worst and he did fine enough for horror. Better than you'd expect, really. Sean Pertwee and Liam Cunningham are in this fucking movie and they carry some pretty big weight for British cinema.

Do I recommend this movie? I'm not sure. Here's the thing. The overall presentation was shit. However, the movie as a whole was... okay. I'd say it's worth one go, at least. Probably for Riffers and Horror Heads only.

SPOILERS!!!

My GOD the twists were dumb and predictable. Of course the captain of the elite squad was using the other soldiers as bait. There was literally no other reason to bring them out there blind. Of course the female lead was part of the pack. While it doesn't make any sense, that's the kind of hamfisted twist you'd expect from this movie. Her motivation was also all over the place. Was she trying to help her family get cured? Was she trying to bring her family new food? Was she honestly hoping the military was going to kill her family so she could be free of them? What the fuck was she trying to accomplish?

Anyway, the dog lives.

Watch it or don't, I don't really give a shit.