HotEL caLifornia

So this is I17 huh? I've been driving so long I barely remember any colors other than red and grey. Driving in this convertible Camaro is perfect. I can smoke my colitas and my car is no worse for wear. But maybe I should lay off a tad. I’m getting sleepy. I'll close my eyes for a second and… FUCK!!!

A car has crashed right outside the lovely Hotel California named ironically after the song written by The Eagles.

I climbed out of my beat up car knowing I wouldn’t be able to drive it. Luckily enough I crashed basically into this Hotel California place. It’s pretty nice lookin. It’s a little out here for it to be just there but whatever man. I lucked out. My car isn’t even drivable. I’m surprised I made it out without a scratch. As I entered the doorman said welcome to the Hotel California. When I walked in the first hallway it was completely dark. A young lady came out from behind the counter.

“Hello!” She said with a smile. “Welcome to the Hotel California! It’s so very nice to meet you! Would you like me to take you to your room?”

“My room?” I questioned. “But I haven’t paid…”

“No need to worry about that. We’ve been expecting you since your accident. The owner said you can stay free of charge. Well… shall we?”

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. My luck had taken a sharp turn for the worse and an equally sharp turn for the better.

Two steps into the dark hallway and a light lit up. Two more steps and another. And so on and so on.

“Oh! You guys have fancy lighting huh?” I said trying to start conversation

“We may have been around forever but that doesn’t mean we’re Amish,” she retorted. “The WiFi is hotel California and the password is welcomehome.”

“I don’t think ill need it. My cell got destroyed in the wreckage,”

“So sorry to hear that. We hope you enjoy your stay. Feel more than welcome to call room service for anything at all. The wine menu will be on your nightstand and meal time comes at the same time every day. 6pm sharp and we have our nightly feast in the ballroom.”

“Oh dope… so we come eat like whenever after that?”

“6… pm… sharp.”

As she closed the door behind me I heard her footsteps head towards the entrance.

“A second floor room huh? Nice of them to give me a view,”

Momentarily after as I’m looking out the window I see the same young lady drive away in a Mercedes Benz. I was astonished!.

“No way a hotel keeps enough for that?” I thought to myself. “She has to be some sort of penny pincher.”

Hours pass and I finally hear the car return. I look outside to see if it's hers and low and behold I see her and dozens of young dudes in the car. They all hop out and start to have a pool party in the courtyard. Man… for a prude on time she sure knows how to have a good time. Speaking of good times… let's see this wine menu.

So I call the front desk and who do I get but mr. doorman himself.

“Howdy is this how i get to room service?”

“How may I be of service to you sir?”

“Yea I’d like an expensive bottle? The uh… the… marques de murrieta Castillo?”

“Sir… we haven’t had wine here in over 50 years. And even if I had, I was instructed not to give any intoxicants to this room. Unfortunately I can not complete your request.”

So i guess that means a night with no booze… this place has a ghostly howl at night ya know? Like it's kinda freaky. It feels like the whole place is whispering to you. Trying to tell you to get out. Shivers dude, shivers.

At about 5:45 I started heading towards the ballroom. We had passed it on the way up so I knew where I was going at least. Once I got to the room it seemed like it was empty. The table was served but no one was there. I waited patiently to have a seat. At 6 pm sharp, like the lady had said, the chefs had brought out the food. A giant silver dish seemed like it was ready to be eaten. The amount of food they had brought out was astounding. It felt like it was going to feed so many people! The keep walked in soon after the chefs.

“Thank you for your timeliness!”

“Of course. You said sharp so I figured. Your cute friends gonna join us?”

“Oh you saw that huh?”

“Yea from my balcony. You weren’t planning on inviting me?”

“No actually you see I couldn’t. Here at the inn we have… rules set by the owner.”

“Yea so I’ve been told. No wine for me tonight I guess. What’s that all about?”

“Well you see…” she said as she poured out her champagne. “This might be a hotel… but it's really more like a prison. We're all trapped here because of our vices. Mine was parties and sex. And now my punishment is being forced to party until my old bones can’t handle it anymore.”

“What the fuck?!?! Your boss can’t do that!!! That’s not legal.”

“Son… where do you think we are?”

The people opened the silver platter to reveal a rotting pork carcass. The people at the table began to dig into it dry heaving every step of the way. In shock I ran. I didn’t know were too at first. I just knew i had to leave this place. I burst through the doors and couldn’t believe my eyes. Everything had changed. Fire and pain was all i saw. I turned around and the letters O T C A I F O R N I A had burned out of the sign out front. Leaving only… HELL. The doorman chucked and his face changed from blank to a state of pure evil. Son… haven’t you heard the song? You can check out any time you like… but you can never leave