Evelyn Hugo's Seven Husbands

*This piece will include spoilers for those who have not read the book. So, proceed with caution and at your own risk.*

Introduction

I have recently finished "The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo," and the book was...decent. A story loosely based on old Hollywood actresses is not something you often see in literature. Then again, the author's signature move seems to be creating books based on people in pop culture and entertainment. Nevertheless, I mostly enjoyed the book as a whole. However, I want to talk about the primary aspect of the book, which is the seven husbands, of course. The author's decision for this is an evident influence by an old Hollywood actress who also had seven husbands during her lifetime. Anyway, here are my opinions on each of Elizabeth's, uh, I mean Evelyn's husbands.

Poor Ernie Diaz

Let's start with husband number 1: Ernie Diaz, a Mexican man Evelyn married to escape her abusive father and get to Hollywood. She was only 14 when they married, though Ernie assumed she was 18 because she looked older. That detail itself makes me side-eye this first marriage. However, I'll (slightly) let it slide due to Evelyn's undesirable circumstances. Upon arriving in Hollywood, Evelyn worked as a waitress at a diner before being discovered by Harry Cameron. She started at Sunset Studios, only receiving bit roles as a nurse or simply as an extra. After some "politicking," Evelyn finally gets a chance for bigger and better things. Once she was at a place where her career in Hollywood seemed promising, she left her marriage and Ernie heartbroken. I agree that Ernie's adjective/descriptor is accurate; poor Ernie Diaz, indeed.

Goddamn Don Adler

Next is husband number 2: Don Adler, a fellow actor at Sunset Studios who got paired with Evelyn based on their chemistry. The two went on a date per the studio's request before they became exclusive and eventually married. Unlike Ernie, Don was the first husband that she truly loved. However, that quickly changed when he started abusing her merely two months later. Don's career was declining while Evelyn's was on the rise, causing him to take his anger and frustrations out on Evelyn. His jealousy was so extreme that he tried to force Evelyn to quit acting under the guise of wanting a family. She refused; he beat her more. A false claim and fake miscarriage later, Don and Evelyn eventually divorced after the latter caught the former cheating. Also, during this time, Evelyn started a budding friendship with new-coming actress Celia St. James. I think I speak for anyone who has read the book that Don was her worst husband. As I was reading about him, I got a major Mickey Rooney vibe from him.

Guilible Mick Riva

Following Don is husband number 3: Mick Riva, a singer who became so captivated by her that he desired to marry her. As I mentioned, Evelyn and Celia became fast and close friends towards the end of her marriage to Don. Well, I probably should've mentioned that Celia is a lesbian, which Evelyn discovered via Little Women co-star Ruby Reilly. When Don served Evelyn with divorce papers, she and Celia started a romantic and sexual relationship. Evelyn, Celia, and Harry attended a Mick Riva show at the Hollywood Bowl one night. During the show, Evelyn unconsciously holds Celia's hand before quickly retracting it. However, it was too late because a couple had already seen her and looked disgusted. Evelyn cheered loudly, gaining Mick's attention. She later comes up with a plan to elope with Mick in Vegas to prevent a scandal. Though she was initially hesitant, Celia reluctantly agreed, and Evelyn went to Vegas to execute her plan. Through persuasion, manipulation, and sex appeal, Evelyn convinced Mick to marry and bed her. The morning after, Mick admitted he was disappointed in the act and suggested an annulment, which was also a part of Evelyn's plan. Mick seemed like a decent enough guy, I guess. His marriage to Evelyn was a business transaction that benefitted them both unbeknownst to Mick. As quoted directly from the book, "You want a scandal. He wants the world to know he screwed you. The two things are one and the same (Chapter 28, page 174)."

Clever Rex North

Next up, we have husband number 4: Rex North, a fellow actor from Iceland who was practically a male version of Evelyn when she first started in Hollywood. After losing Celia and terminating a pregnancy, Evelyn continued to marry for publicity, and her next target was Rex North. Their marriage was strictly a business arrangement that benefitted them. This practice is still pretty common in the entertainment industry. However, Evelyn set a no-intimacy boundary, which meant she and Rex did not have sex during their two-and-a-half-year marriage. Things went well until Rex confessed to Evelyn that he was in love with his mistress, Joy Nathan. He also admitted that Joy is pregnant with Rex's baby; Evelyn concocts a plan to end the marriage. She suggests selling a story about her and Rex having affairs. While it's obvious who Rex's mistress will be (Joy), Evelyn suggests saying that she was having an affair with Harry. However, Harry reveals that he's been seeing John Braverman, Celia's husband. Harry tells Evelyn that Celia's marriage to John is fake as the two sleep in separate beds, similar to Evelyn and Rex. Evelyn sees this as a bonus to her plan and goes through with it. The plan succeeded, and Evelyn and Rex's union was over. Looking past the circumstances of their marriage, I believe Rex was one of her best husbands. He respected her boundaries, and I think he might have truly loved her on a deeper level.

Brilliant, Kindhearted, Tortured Harry Cameron

I introduce husband number 5: Harry Cameron, Evelyn's lifelong friend who saw her potential when he met her as a waitress. Though Operation Mutual Affairs was merely an elaborate plan, Harry suggested that he and Evelyn marry for real. After considering the benefits and the roles of Celia and John, Evelyn agreed. After the wedding and honeymoon, the four moved to New York and lived without worrying about being outed. During her marriage to Harry, Evelyn gave birth to their only daughter, Connor. When both their true loves left them (Celia by choice, John by death), Evelyn and Harry divorced. The two remained friends and co-parented their daughter even after Evelyn married for the sixth time. I would put Harry in the top 3 with no hesitation. I admire their relationship because it was built on their friendship first. Also, it seems he was Evelyn's favorite husband, as he has the most adjectives/descriptors.

Disappointing Max Girard

Next, we have husband number 6: Max Girard, a French director who played a role in reviving her career after her divorce from Don. Evelyn married Max shortly after her divorce from Harry. However, the marriage quickly fell apart after a few months. Evelyn realized that Max didn't love her and only loved the idea of her. He loved Evelyn Hugo, the Hollywood Icon, not Evelyn the person. Max treated her more like a trophy to show off than a wife to love and cherish. The marriage had ended due to this fact and the fact that Evelyn had reconnected with Celia once again. Max found the letters exchanged between the two women and accused Evelyn of being a lesbian, though he used a crueler, more derogative term. Evelyn left him; Celia and Evelyn devised a plan to stage an affair between Evelyn and young Congressman Jack Easton. This plan was to ensure that when Max goes to the press to expose Evelyn's sexuality, everyone would assume he was simply jealous and bitter. Max is probably the second worst husband that Evelyn ever had, after Don, of course. He never truly loved Evelyn and only loved being seen with her. Not to mention, he insulted her and her sexuality twice; if that doesn't scream "red flag," then I don't know what does.

Agreeable Robert Jamison

We are finally at husband number 7: Robert Jamison, a Wall Street financier who happens to be Celia's older brother. Originally, Celia created a plan to allow her and Evelyn to love each other peacefully. Evelyn would marry Celia's brother, Robert, and the three of them, and Harry and Connor would move to Spain. However, Harry was in a fatal car accident that took his and a second person's life. Evelyn and Robert still got married, and they, Celia, and Connor all moved to Spain as planned. Robert proved to be a great father figure to Connor after Harry's death. He and Evelyn stayed married, with Celia dying at age 61, until his death at age 81. Like Harry, I would place Robert in the Top 3 spots of her best husbands. Aside from being "agreeable," as Evelyn described him, he was a supportive brother to Celia and a great second father to Connor.

My Ranking of Husbands (From Best to Worst)

1. Harry Cameron- He was a great friend to Evelyn, which I believe played a role in their overall relationship throughout the years.

2. Robert Jamison- He supported Celia and Evelyn's relationship and remained constant in Connor's life until he passed.

3. Rex North- He understood the terms of his marriage to Evelyn and her boundaries.

4. Ernie Diaz- He seemed like a sweet boy, albeit a bit naive; his reaction to Evelyn leaving him truly broke my heart.

5. Mick Riva- He was decent enough to realize the marriage was a drunken mistake.

6. Max Girard- He was a homophobic user who only wanted "cool points" for having Evelyn as his wife.

7. Don Adler- He was an entitled ass who couldn't handle Evelyn being more successful than him.*

*I know he apologized and was redeemed, but I still hate him.

Author's Note: I hope you enjoyed my breakdown and thinkpiece on Evelyn Hugo's seven husbands. I know I didn't go into detail about Evelyn and Celia, but there's a reason for that. I may do a separate thinkpiece breaking down their relationship. Until then, please let me know your opinions in the comments!