You See it One Way

My eye surgery was scheduled for February 18th, two weeks from today. I had a lot of work to get done, since I knew that I would need to stay off my computer for a week or so after the surgery while my eye was healing. I worked until midnight, brushed my teeth, and fell into bed.

I woke up on the surgery table, with bright lights overhead. I tried to turn my head to look around, but my head was held in position by some type of vise. I tried to raise my hand, but my whole body was strapped to the table. Darting my eyes back and forth, I saw the surgeon and nurse moving around, preparing for the procedure.

The surgeon asked, “Where’s the anesthesiologist?”

The nurse replied, “She’s been delayed in another surgery, Doctor. Looks like we have about a 30-minute wait.”

“No, I don’t have time for that. Let’s proceed without the anesthetic. The patient’s asleep anyway.”

“Noooooo!” I tried to shout, but no words came out of my mouth.

“Noooooo!” I tried to shake my head, but the vise clamped me tight.

“Noooooo!” I tried to get up, raise my hands, kick my feet, but the straps held me to the table.

The nurse taped my eyelid open. The surgeon loomed over me with the scalpel in his hand, light glinting off the blade. Then his hand moved down to slice my eye —

— and I woke up. In my bed. Drenched in sweat. My own scream choking in my throat.

I grabbed my cell phone off the bedside table. The screen showed 3:11am, February 5th. I fell back against the pillows, panting, trying to think. Eye surgery. Two weeks from now. February 18th. This was just a nightmare. Just a nightmare. Just a nightmare.

* * * * * * * * * *

Yep, just a nightmare. Every night. The same nightmare. Every night. For the next two weeks. The same nightmare. Every night. By the time the morning of February 18th arrived, I was an exhausted wreck.

My brother drove me to the eye care surgery center.

“You look terrible, Frankie,” he said. “Have you been working around the clock or something?”

“Uh, yeah, or something,” I muttered.

“Are you going to take the next two weeks off to let your eye recover, like the surgeon recommended?”

“Uh, yeah, I think so.”

“Ok, well, just relax. I’ve heard this surgeon is the best. You’ll be in good hands.”

* * * * * * * * * *

The nurse prepared me for surgery.

“I’m going to put these drops in your eye to dilate it, ok?” she asked.

“Yeah, is the anesthesiologist here?”

“No, she’s in another surgery right now. But she’ll be here momentarily. Let’s just get you ready for the surgeon.”

“Are you sure she’s going to be here? The anesthesiologist?” I asked, trying to keep the desperation out of my voice.

“Don’t worry, she’ll be here. And the surgeon is going to take good care of you.”

“Um, ok…”

“Do you want a light sedative? We have something that you can drink to help you relax.”

“Yeah, that sounds like a good idea. I’ve been a little anxious…”

I woke up on the surgery table, with bright lights overhead...

* * * * * * * * * *

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