Why Love Bugs Are Attached at the Butt

“Tell us a story, O Storyteller!”

The children gather around the fire and beg for a tale.

“Very well, children. Sit and listen, and I will tell you of how love bugs came to be.”

~~~

“Oh, Cree-aaa-torrrr!”

The Creator turned and looked down at the origin of the voice, for the third time in as many days.

Some of the members of the Assembly of Hosts coughed to keep from laughing, while others lowered their heads and pressed their lips together.

The ones in Eternal Reverence had the easiest time as their faces were always covered with their hands.

“What can I do for you, dear bug?”

The bug’s wings and six legs danced and flittered. His body, pincers and stinger shone in a vast array of bright colors set upon a sheet of gold, like so many jewels on a crown.

“It’s the partner you gave me.”

“Oh?” The Creator raised an eyebrow. “What of her?”

“She’s always on my case! I can’t get a moment of peace.”

“There you are!” The shout of the bug’s wife echoed in the Chamber of Hosts as she bounded down the hall. “I should have known you’d try and hide here. What is he asking you for this time?” She turned to The Creator. “More gaudy augments?”

“Gaudy?” Husband Bug was indignant. “I look fantastic.”

“You look ridiculous,” Wife Bug stated.

“It’s called fashion,” Husband Bug retorted. “Besides, you have the same basic features as me.”

“That’s different.”

“How?”

“Please, you two.” The Creator spoke calmly. “What’s the real issue here?”

“The issue?” Wife Bug said. “He’s never around when work is to be done. He’s always prancing and preening, showing off his looks to whoever will give him attention. He's gone all night. Sleeps all day.”

“Ha!” Husband Bug scoffed. “Am I not supposed to show off the Creator’s handiwork? What’s the point of all this glory, if I’m just supposed to hide or not acknowledge it.” He leaned back and waved his front legs down his body, showing it off. "As to my travels, am I supposed to ignore the Creator’s work around us? And for work, wasn’t it you and your girlfriends that trashed our place and then disappeared for three days for your ‘lady’s retreat’, leaving me to clean everything up. Which I did, I might add.”

“It would have been rude to turn down their invitation.”

“Not to mention you constantly biting and stinging almost every creature you see and then laughing at their discomfort.”

Mouths agape in shock and amusement at the revelations, The Assembly of Hosts collectively looked back and forth at the arguing bugs.

“Lazy avoider!”

“Nagging biter!”

“Enough!” The Creator interrupted. “It seems you both need to learn some lessons, and be given the opportunity to grow into better versions of yourselves. So, new rules. You will not fly at night. You will not sting or bite. And…”

With a snap of the Creator’s fingers, the two bugs found themselves attached at the rear of their abdomens.

Gone were pincers and stingers.

Gone were the glorious colors, with only a bright red humpback on the thorax remaining on their now otherwise monochromatic bodies.

“Learn to be proper partners,” The Creator continued. “Carry each other’s burdens and weight. You will now be an example of partnership and love for all others to see. Now. As true equals, depart, and complain no more.”

For the first time, the bugs were at a loss for words, and awkwardly took their leave.

~~~

“From that day forth, they learned to compromise and work together. They became the example of partnership and love they were commanded to represent. They earned the name we call them now. And that, children, is why love bugs are attached at the butt.”

The Storyteller smiles.

“I heard they were genetically engineered in a lab,” a child says.

“I… Sure.” The Storyteller shrugs.

The children cheer.