What Exactly Happened: Part 1

There was a day, or so that it would be considered to be in the past. when there were no more of those who are now long since dead and gone and only those who had been alive for over a decade remained. The days were dark and full of sorrow but there was always something in the air that lifted everyone up. it wasn’t just the sun but it was also hope. the hope of the future, hope that things could change and be better.

the people were happy even if not necessarily all at once. They went about their business every day with smiles on their faces. They spoke loudly about their plans and goals and what they wished to achieve with their lives. they made decisions and sometimes they weren't as well thought out as others might have wanted but they never failed to reach the same result.

and then there was him. He was the one who carried most of the heavy burden of responsibility, the one who dealt with the worst-case scenarios as he attempted to find a solution. He had always known the answer to all problems before any other person had, he knew the answers to all questions. And yet he had still managed to stumble upon this new solution. He had somehow convinced himself that the way forward was a good way forwards. He had somehow managed to convince himself that everything would eventually turn out okay.

It hadn't happened overnight, he'd known it wouldn't. But he had tried his best. It took a while, but he had finally learned how to accept failure.

And then the world came crashing down around him, and there wasn't anything that he could do but watch in horror as the pieces fell into place. There wasn't anything he could do except sit and watch as his family was torn apart and destroyed by the very man who had caused it.

He blamed himself for all of it, he should have done something sooner; he should have stopped this sooner. He shouldn't have fallen prey to temptation; it shouldn't have gotten this far. He should've done better. It was all his fault, all of it. Everything had been fine until he opened his big fat mouth and said those two words.

"I love you."

It was like a light switch had been flipped and suddenly everything changed. Everything had suddenly become different. His wife and his children weren't even his children anymore, his parents were dead, he had lost his friends and the world had started turning its head.

The light had flickered back on and then he saw them; his family, and then he remembered that they were real. He had finally found his family again, finally reunited. They were safe. They were whole.

So why did it feel like everything was falling apart? He couldn't understand it. He couldn't understand how nothing made sense. How nothing would ever be the same. It didn't make any sense, none of it. Why hadn't it worked? The problem wasn't him, it was the universe itself. There was just too much space between everything and him.

But, as always, he would have to deal with it. For the sake of keeping his family together. For the sake of making sure his sister stayed sane. For the sake of giving them a home, a future.

For his sanity.

He didn't deserve it, he was nothing compared to his father and he was certain that he would never measure up to him. So when things fell apart, when he felt like the ground beneath him was collapsing, he would go to work, go to work with his usual enthusiasm, and try to keep everything from happening.

To be continued…