The Trip of a Lifetime?

Bill and Erma were a traditional couple. Everything they had was in a joint account. They told each other everything they did and thought. It seemed there were no secrets between them. They started dating in high school and were married shortly after graduation. They loved their hometown in Colorado and never had much desire to leave it.

After graduation, Bill worked on an assembly line at the local factory while Erma briefly worked at the grocery store before quitting to raise the children. The 1980's were difficult, but the couple made it through and made a nice life for their children. They had three kids, Bill Jr., Winifred, and little Sammy. In the 90's, the kids moved on to college or their first job, and Erma went back to work. Bill golfed once a week with Ted, his friend in payroll that had started the factory about the same time as Bill.

Bill and Erma were disciplined and never knew want, but they also rarely had treats, luxuries, or vacations. One of their favorite past times was to talk about a trip to the Grand Canyon and then on to the Golden Gate Bridge. Erma had traced every deposit, check, and retirement account. They would be fine in retirement, but a big trip to the west coast seemed unlikely. Their children were successful but didn't make enough to provide extra support for their parents.

Bill retired from the factory shortly after accepting a nice plaque for thirty-five years of service. Erma retired from the local grocery store, and the couple settled into retirement with golf, quilting, and time with grandchildren.

A few weeks of peaceful retirement went by, but then Bill surprised Erma with airplane tickets to the west coast. Erma was completely shocked. “Where did you get the money for these? I watched our account for years. I triple counted every dime and penny, trying to keep our family afloat.”

Bill then told of how Ted, Bill’s friend in payroll, created an extra line of federal withholding on Bill’s pay stub. Each paycheck, he set aside five dollars for the couple under this tax withholding account and secretly invested it in a savings account. Bill had always wanted to take this trip with her, and this had always been his plan. Five dollars set aside every two weeks for thirty-five years was $4,550 plus interest. Even if the account only averaged a percentage point of interest, it was nearly $6,500. Bill thought Erma would be elated. Instead, she looked as if steam would come out of her ears.

“Do you know how many years I labored over our checkbook, wishing there was more money in the account, wishing the children could have better shoes or something their friends had?! You had effectively stolen money from us every two weeks. Money that we desperately needed!”

Erma walked away still fuming. Bill kicked a nearby rock. He had spent thirty-five years planning this surprise. Thirty-five years of imagining the look of joy and surprise on her face. Thirty-five years of telling Ted what it would be like to look down into the Grand Canyon or out at the water around the Golden Gate Bridge. Boy had that backfired! After tempers had cooled some, the couple still went on the trip and had a great time, but Erma did not say a single word the whole flight to Arizona.

Bill didn't know if he could ever tell her about the additional $5 in "state tax withholding" he had also withheld every paycheck. That secret would probably have to go to the grave with Bill and Ted. Perhaps he could send that to the grandchildren's college savings accounts without her noticing. If she knew that there was another $6,500 out there, she might divorce him. He hoped never to find out.