The Shadow in the Dark

Bed was never my friend, and slept my ever-wanted muse.   I lay down, my body exhausted, yet my mind was not in a good place.  Here I am tonight with my eyes drooping, and I know what is coming: the lack of meaningful rest.  It was not always like this, and sleep was great until this nightmare started. The nightmare never ended, and I only wanted to cool my mind.  My comfy pillow and sturdy mattress have not helped me through this time.   I could only figure out what the dream was trying to tell me, but to no avail; I could have that answer.  Every night is the same terror; the figure watches with a searing presence. It could never be lost in the chase.

Yet I must attempt this night again. My mind was reeling as I lay in bed.  My eyelids were falling with fatigue while my body was going limp.  I needed the rest, but still, the impending doom.  Drifting off brings us to a dark place.  The room seemed genuine, and the shadow could come from anywhere. It always does, but I enjoy the sleep I receive. Rest was till the creaking started in all parts of the room.  Even the bed is not safe from the monster that the shadow appears.  It became blurry as the room shook, and I ran straight out of that bed with panic.  The darker the room came from the walls with everything moving.   The creature was just starting, but there was always nowhere to hide from such a beast.  A vengeful thing that continually searches for yet is never vanquished.  The darkness overtook the room as I darted through the narrow hallway of evil pictures and warped decorations.

“I’m coming for you,” the voice came from the room.

The hallway never seems to end, nor do the other rooms ever open as before.  Different rooms, such as a kitchen or bathroom, are not here, yet the search never goes anywhere.  Even at my best pace, through the darkening corridors was still the task. Yet as much it took everything out of the area, including the excellent air. Even with a head start, the monster was behind me, and I could feel its cold breath on my back.  I was advised to turn around and face, but I could not bear that response this time. All I could do was scream and try to run faster, but somehow, it let me think I could outwit it.  

Sweat drained from my forehead as I woke up without sleep.  This time, it was bolder, and I could not stop having this horrible dream.  I turned on my lights, and nothing was wrong.   It looked so ordinary, and yet I could finally breathe.  My body ached from the thrashing and sweat, but still, I only wished for the sleep of others. Only I had to go back to sleep and try to escape early.   I will leave the room and maybe get out of that hallway.  I closed my mind after my heart could settle.  I was going to outsmart the monster in my mind.   I lay exhausted, but I need this sleep.  I drifted off to find myself in the room again. 

My socks gently touch the ground as I leave the room before darkness comes. Yet it was suddenly dark, and its eyes appeared in the door. All I could do was run to the locked doors. The lights blinked as if they were still behind, letting me run. My heart was not satisfied, as it could no longer handle it. The hall was even narrower, and my mind, as the monster started to jump, woke up again. 

That method was useless; I was awake only to the light in my room.  I needed to see everything and ensure the creature had not entered this side.  All I could do was lie awake, waiting for the alarm to blare to go to work.  Rest was all I needed, yet I was never given any real help.  I dosed lightly to not wake up the dream as the alarm blared. I could only drudge through another day without sleep. Sleep was not in the cards till the monster was defeated and I could rest again.

The end of the day

I go again to a no-sleep zone, but this time will, the monster take me.  I am being destroyed anyway by these things. At least I can look at the thing in its face as it comes.  There is nowhere to hide, and it is just a dream.  My eyes drooped as I dozed off, ready to take my life back. 

The room appeared as usual as I walked around it, expecting more fear.  Parts of the room looked familiar, with elements of my childhood toys that fit my teenage tastes.  Each poster and toy in the room had a memory. The bed sheets were from my college days; my mother tossed them.   The crib in the corner was mine with my early toys.  Ultimately, I was lost in my memories, and this was what my mind could do.   Those years had tough times and piles of diaries with tear stains.  I knew those words so well that I could not read or relive them again. Despite looking all around, the monster had not appeared.   This whole time, it was about my hectic life and loss of innocence.   All that went wrong, I simply packed away in the back of my mind to move on.   My foot hit a soft object as I was drawn back.  It was my favorite stuffed bear as a kid.  I could only pick it up and hug it.  It brought such security as a kid trying to navigate my parents’ terrible decisions.   All these things are packed away to just forget the trauma unfolding.

I glared around the room, and nothing was shaking or the monster even appearing.  I could find other things in my childhood, such as my sports equipment and the art I made.  The art looked awful, but I did put effort into it.  My drawlings at five were such scribble, but I guess they are still a part of me.  My eyes teared up that these were my childhood memories, and I wished my childhood would go so much better.   My silly drapes from middle school still hung in the window, making me feel as pathetic as I think.  My butt went back to my bed with my teddy bear in my arms.  I had avoided my life.  

The shadow appeared in the room, a lot smaller than it seemed.  It just stood there and acted scary, but I felt no fear. The more I challenged it, the smaller it became.  I had been running this entire time only from the power I had given it.  I was in control the whole time, but the smaller it looked, the angrier.  It burst bigger in the room, but I stood my ground. I was in control, and the shadow decreased and returned to its angry little self.  I was furious about everything that happened in my life; I let it control me through fear.  I decided to let the hate of those who had hurt me go.  As I did, the dark figure started to disappear, and the old awful memories began in the room. It was that of good memories and good times.  Lessons learned replaced the tear-stained diaries.   The light is shown through the window.  My sheets had changed to my adult ones.   I was at peace.  My restful mind was calmed by the colors now, and living a new life without the shadow of the old.  It was a place of rest once again.  I laid back down and slept with my life back in my control.

There was a blaring sound as I opened my eyes. I slept all night.  It had been such a long time such as this much rest.  I had faced my fear.  It was a beautiful morning and another day.  My tiny room was more welcoming. The fresh sleep had welcomed the morning.  My fear was gone, but I knew I had to start on my early fears.  It was a relief to face that nightmare.  I will be fine now, and facing the fear was not as bad as I expected.