The Longest Day

As the longest day of the year started, the elders of the city of Tangberry began the day by placing four distinctive purple Amethysts on each of the town's four main corners and a fifth in the center, forming a perfect circle. These crystals were said to harness the power of the sun, with each stone representing one of the four cardinal directions and the fifth symbolizing the town's bloody, beating heart, which every year was ripped from the chest of the tallest man and sacrificed to the great blood god, Stroodle-Doo, who, in return, allowed the people of Tangberry to exist. He would also, on occasion, help them to grow the worlds most delicious grapes to make the worlds finest fermented grape juice. And as long as they didn’t call this grape juice wine, they were allowed to keep growing it. Stroodle-Doo hated the name wine because it reminded him of how his worshippers were always whining.

As the sun ascended, the whole town gathered at the center, united in excitement, and chanted the name of Stroodle-Doo. The elder’s then asked the others to join hands, forming a human chain connecting the entire city in a circle around the Amethysts.

“Stroodle-Doo, Stroodle-Doo, Stroodle-Doo! Stroodle-Doo, we love you! Stroodle-Doo, feralize our plants with cow poo! Stroodle-Doo, we sacrifice the heart of this tall behemoth to you! Stroodle-Doo, we need you!”

They had a tall blonde haired freckled man who was wearing glasses and smiling tied to a board. One of the town elders cut out his heart while the tall man screamed, smiled and laughed.

“What an honor my sacrifice is,” the man shouted and the town giggled in joy.

They carried his heart to the middle crystal and placed it on top, then slowly backed away.

The earth started to shake and the ground began crack open. Stroodle-Doo, in all his scaly skinned glory, burst from the ground and shouted.

“What a glorious day this is! Thank you, citizens of Tangberry for another beautiful sacrifice on the longest day of the year, the solstice. For this, I grant you all the right to exist for another year. I also grant you all the minerals and nutrients you need for growing the best fermented grape juice on earth. Enjoy!” Stroodle-Doo said. Stroodle-Doo Then slithered back into his hole. One of his loyal followers jumped in the hole after him and shouted, “Take me! Take me! I love you, Stroodle-Doo!” The hole then sealed itself up.

Somebody popped a bottle of champagne and yelled “champagne for everybody! Champagne is the best wine we make,” then the man exploded and the bottle of champagne dropped on the ground and shattered, spilling the liquid everywhere.

One of the elders then shouted, “let that be a reminder to everybody why we don’t use the W word. Now let’s celebrate,” and opened another bottle of sparkling fermented grape juice and poured it for everyone in the town to enjoy.

The celebrations went on well into the night, and at the end of the day the amethyst crystals were fully charged. The crystals sparkled, then zapped everyone with a powerful electrical current, giving all of the townsfolk of Tangberry the ability to fly and spit battery acid. Everybody lived happily ever after and had enjoyed the festival that they had been having every year for centuries!