The Last Stop

I knew something was wrong when I woke to the sound of muffled wind and squealing metal. My body shook against whatever I had been sleeping on. It was like lying on a couch with no padding; one that didn’t extend far because as I shifted my legs, they fell off an edge. I reached my hand out to stabilise myself. The object I held was rough on the outside, but my hand sunk into it. It felt like an old carpet. I didn’t want to open my eyes. The dark was more comfortable. That was until a bump sent me flying sideways, and I slammed my head against something hard.

My eyes sprang open.

Thick air flew down my throat, and I sat up with a jolt. I placed a hand on my head and peered around myself. I was surrounded by a blinding light. I blinked until my sight was no longer a blur of white and gold, but a space that, while familiar, appeared strange. Like it wasn’t meant to exist in this way.

I was alone in a long corridor with lines of seats placed on either side of it. On the walls above the seats were large windows that had been scratched at from the inside. There was nothing to see through them save the inside of this space. I looked further ahead to find yellow poles that curved up towards the ceiling with handlebars hanging off them. On the walls were signs written in red, green, and black. Everything I saw was familiar. Everything I saw resembled a train. And yet… this one felt different. This one caused bumps to rise along my skin and made my neck tingle.

Of course, it didn’t help that I was by myself with no memory of how I got here.

I ruffled around in my pockets. They were empty. I brushed my palms along my seat and looked at the ground. There was nothing there. That also meant that I had no bag. No phone. No ticket. And no way of knowing where this train was coming from or even heading.

What is the last thing I even remember?

I caught a sign in the corner of my eye, but it was blurry. I shifted my body closer. It had a white background with one horizontal black line cutting across it. I had to squint my eyes to read the words in the top right corner: “In Between train network map”. Not much of a map with only one possible route. And what kind of train only had one possible route? Not only that, but it seemed like it was missing a twist or two with the number of turns I had already felt.

I jumped as a shrilling noise filled the train. A scream.

Another one.

I didn’t dare move. I clutched the seat in front of me until my knuckles turned white. The silence survived too long. I screamed back. “Hello?” Nothing. “Hello!”

Another scream. This one lasted longer.

It sounded like it was coming from behind me.

I rose, and my feet took me towards the back of the train before I could think. I must not have had much in me because my legs felt like they hadn’t been used in a very long time. I gripped every seat I stumbled past and followed the sound. “Tell me where you are.”

As I passed through the first carriage, the smell of wet mould clung to me, and I noticed that some of the seats had been ripped open, leaving bits of yellow padding scattered along the floor. I looked up to find the walls had scrapes in certain places, and the windows were full of carvings.

Didn’t anybody take care of this thing?

I willed my legs to move faster.

My stomach soon felt the impact of the train’s motion. It helped to not look ahead at the way the back of the train bent and twisted like the body of a snake. It certainly didn’t feel like this train would be slowing down any time soon.

I clutched my belly and continued fumbling along the walkway. “Where are you.” The words came out as breath.

I passed another carriage. This one was a little less vandalised, but it still held a festering smell that I felt the need to shake off.

The screams continued. They became closer together and only grew louder. This person couldn’t be much further ahead. The sound felt too close.

“Hello?” I yelled.

And then I halted. But not because of the screaming. But perhaps something more alarming.

That was not my voice coming out of me.

I clutched my throat. “No.” This voice was low and gravelly. The words lagged rather than being quick puffs of air. My actual voice was high. Verging on screechy. Not this deep, rickety thing.

My eyes locked onto the ground, fighting against the urge to glance at a window. They found one before I could stop them. The train’s interior was reflected off it, and it flickered as the train glided along the tracks. I saw one person among it. She was an older woman. Her under eyes were hollow and dark, the surrounding skin finely worn and shaded in the colour of off milk. Her hair was dark with silver streaks running through it. Each one shone under the harsh lights of the train. She had slight padding underneath her chin and fair lines along her neck. I touched them. And then I saw her hand. Loose, white skin with purple blotches. How could I not have noticed this earlier? I supposed I wasn’t looking for it.

My hand started to shake.

“Hello,” the old woman spoke.

I meant; I spoke.

I wasn’t sure.

It became very hard to breathe then.

Soon, another scream. Except this time, I knew its source.

I dropped to the seat behind me and roamed my gaze all over myself.

Was this to be me in the future? Was this me now and I had somehow forgotten my life? Because those were my eyes I saw in that reflection. If nothing else.

Maybe I hadn’t really made it to this age. Maybe I was just in a place where the strange was normal. A place where people woke up with no memory of how they got there in a body that was their own but not quite.

I needed this train to reach the end of its damned line.

“HELP.”

My head spun to the sound of the scream. I had almost forgotten about that other issue. Almost. This time I could just make out a young woman’s voice coming through. “I’m coming.” I flinched at the low sound that came out of me. It was so obvious that it wasn’t my own now.

I took my first step and almost fell back into the seat.

At least now I know why I feel as weak as a straw.

Once again, I gripped every stable object on my way down. I began to slow sooner than I expected. My body felt like it was slowly deteriorating with every movement; my lungs began to choke, my bones ached, and my pulse exploded.

It only occurred to me then that maybe the people on this train were meant to be here. This person could even be dangerous. Maybe I shouldn’t be saving them. Maybe this was supposed to be their last stop too.

The next scream felt like it vibrated through my entire body.

But I didn’t think anyone deserved to release a noise like that.

I grunted and continued. Sweat pooled on my forehead and dripped into my eyes. I swiped it away as my eyes began to sting but didn’t realise how damp my hands already were.

The more carriages I passed through the more I realised that they seemed to grow… younger. This next one was clean and bright. It was perfectly planned to have all your needs taken care of on the way to your destination. It was set up with comfier, more plush-looking seats all fitted with a leg rest, a tray table, and a snack compartment. Even the walls were shinier, and if I stared at them long enough, they glowed.

I couldn’t dwell on those things for long because before I knew it, I was on the ground with my chin tucked into my chest. The air grew thick around me and was harder to retain. But I wouldn’t stop. Because the screams weren’t stopping.

So, I began to crawl.

The screeches of the train grew louder as the corners became more sudden. Perhaps that meant I was closer to the last stop than I thought. If I were alone in this thing, I would’ve been rejoicing at that. I would’ve closed my eyes and rested in the dark.

But I wasn’t. And someone needed my help.

My hands and feet continued working. The floor was cold and sticky. I didn’t have time to question why the next carriage I entered appeared like a child’s playground, with seats of bright red, blue, green, and yellow.

The screams felt so easy to get to now. There was only one more carriage in sight. I reached the entryway to find everything in this one was white. It reminded me of what it was like to look at the sky just after the sun had risen.

The smell that now climbed up my nose was fresh and pure. It was the scent of a newborn child; one you can never get enough of because you wish it was your own again.

I spied a door for the toilet at the end of the carriage. It bulged outwards every now and then like someone was banging on it. I almost fell against the floor in relief.

I was so close.

“I’m coming.”

Another turn in the train.

Screech.

Bump. Bump.

So close.

Then the train made a squeal longer than any other. My hands and knees began moving faster than I thought this body would be capable of.

I was barely a meter away from opening the door.

The screaming was so loud it was all around me now.

I reached upwards, and my fingers scraped the handle.

The train slowed. The door swung open. The screaming stopped. And I closed my eyes. Because it wasn’t just a young woman sitting there on her knees, with her hands clasped together and head lowered.

It was me.

I opened my eyes, and she met my gaze. I met my gaze.

The train was almost completely still. I was nearly out of time. Help her. Help you.

I clawed my way here to save a woman from this fate. Not… myself.

I watched as a tear drifted down my cheek. I’d never seen myself cry. It looked different to how I thought it would. It felt instinctive as I reached out and touched where the water clung to my skin, as though I was just a woman who needed soothing. I brushed there with a shaking thumb.

Then, just before the train could make its final stop, I hugged myself.