Redemption in Red Earth

January 18, 1812

Somewhere in the Indian Ocean

Mary Donovan held her bloody and swollen hands to her stomach and lent over the side of the ship to vomit. A mixture of morning sickness and seasickness had plagued her since the ship had left England almost three months ago, and she was not looking forward to another month of it. She knew she should be grateful that she had not been forced to travel with the First Fleet like her friend Mabel had. There were rumours that their journey had taken over eight months, but she struggled to feel any kind of gratefulness when she was being sent off to an unknown and savage land for a crime she did not commit. Well, mostly did not commit, anyway.

“Oi, time to go back down,” a burly officer grabbed Mary by the arm and yanked her into the direction of the hull. She took in a deep breath savouring the fresh air. She wouldn’t get to come back on deck for another week at least and she had wasted most of the half our vomiting. She climbed along with all the other convicts down the ladder and into the hull. The stench that greeted her made her gag. “Don’t you dare vomit on me,” growled the officer beside her and he shoved her away from himself and into her cell. The shove made her stumble and her eyes smarted from the pain as her knees hit the hard wooden floor. She didn’t bother getting up. Curling into a ball she lay down, hugging the tiny baby growing inside her. “God, take this child from me,” Mary closed her eyes and let the tears flow down her cheeks. “Please, God, what did this child do to deserve being born into such a life? How can I care for it when I am barely surviving myself from one day to the next? Why have you burdened me like this? Oh, why did I ever leave Ireland?” Her lips moved as she prayed but no sound came from them.

***

Thomas Bennet sat in his cell watching the young woman across from him. She hadn’t moved all night and the only signs that she was even alive were her lips, which hadn’t stopped quivering all night, and the tears which hadn’t stopped flowing. He wondered what crime she had committed to be in such turmoil. Every night was the same, she would curl up on the floor of her cell and cry, he could only assume, from her own guilt. He felt a slight pang in his gut each time he saw her, as if she was calling him out for not doing the same thing. But surely his crimes could not be as bad as hers if she felt the need to collapse every night while he felt no shame at all. Well almost no shame. Some nights as he sat watching the woman, he would remember another woman he had known, back in England. His sister, Elizabeth. He wondered where she was now. How she would survive now that he’d been sent to the other side of the world. He remembered how they had done everything together since they were little. When they had been left orphaned on the cruel streets of London, they had survived by learning to pickpocket together. He had been eight years old and she only five. He’d had a natural talent for it and eventually began to steal more expensive things from more important people. Elizabeth had begged him to stop when she realised how dangerous the people he was stealing from were, but they needed the money, and he wasn’t about to let his sister starve to death. She was right, though, and eventually he got caught and now he couldn’t provide for his sister at all. A wave of anger and sadness washed over Thomas. An image came to his mind unbidden of his sister’s cold body lying dead on a cobbled street. He shook his head. No, Elizabeth would be fine. She was smart and resilient. She could look after herself. He shifted his thoughts from thinking about his past. What good would it do to dwell on it? Instead, he focused all his attention on the woman in front of him and tried to imagine what awful thing she must have done to be lying there so hopeless.

February 20, 1812

Botany Bay

Mary woke with a start. A loud clanging sound was coming from outside the ship. She stood up and immediately sat back down again, disorientated. Something felt different. The ship wasn’t swaying like normal. She listened carefully to the sounds coming from above. She heard officers shouting orders and the loud clanging again. She looked over to the man in the cell across from her. “What do you think is happening?” She asked. In four months, she had never spoken a word to this man and immediately she wished she hadn’t. He looked at her with such piercing eyes that she struggled not to shudder. “We’ve arrived” he said in a rough voice that sounded as if it hadn’t been used the whole voyage, “We’re in the land of the unforgiven now.” Mary looked away not wanting to invite further conversation, but she had a queer feeling that the man was still staring at her as if he could see directly into her soul and knew everything she kept hidden there. Mary sat down on the floor of her cell and for the first time let the reality of her life sink in. She hadn’t before let herself think about what would happen once she arrived in Australia because she hadn’t known if she would even survive the journey over. But now she was here, and an uncomfortable feeling had begun to sink in. She was afraid. She had no idea what would happen to her here and what would happen to her baby. She had prayed every night of the trip that God would take her baby from her. That he wouldn’t force her to bring this precious life into such a cruel world, but he hadn’t heard her or didn’t care enough to answer. She wondered what would happen once she left this ship. She had hated it since the moment she had stepped on to it but now the thought of leaving it made her stomach churn. The ship was cramped and smelly and noisy, the officers where often cruel and she had felt sick every day of the journey, but it was familiar to her now. She felt an odd sense of safety within her cell, and the uncertainty of this new land frightened her. “Oi, stand up! It’s time to go!” an officer shouted at all the convicts in the hull. Mary slowly got to her feet. She decided then that whatever was coming, she would face it. She would be strong for her baby. She had to be.

***

It startled Thomas when the woman spoke to him. She had never said anything to him before and he much preferred it that way. If she didn’t speak to him, it was easier to imagine all the evil things she had done and keep his mind off his own shame that kept trying to rear its ugly head. He’d never heeded it before and he wasn’t about to start now, not when he was about to begin a new life in a new place. He wasn’t going to steal anymore, he wanted to make an honest living here, but he didn’t see the point in feeling shame for his past when it was punishment enough being sent away from everything he’d ever known to live in a strange colony on the other side of the world. It was rumoured to be brutal for convicts in Australia, and Thomas meant what he had said to the woman. They wouldn’t find forgiveness here, and he wasn’t about to beg for it.

A few hours later Thomas stood on deck looking out at his new home. He could hear the waves gently lapping against the sandy shore and see large rocky outcrops above it. The air smelled fresh and almost pine like which he assumed was from the many trees growing around the place. Thomas could see rudimentary canvas tents scattered around the landscape, and men hard at work cutting down trees to make clearings for more shelters. He saw woman and children foraging in the unfamiliar flora for food and supplies. There was a hopefulness in this image. People working together to create a future for themselves, but Thomas knew that these people were free. They had chosen to come to Australia themselves and where at liberty to take advantage of the opportunities here. He on the other hand was a convict. No opportunities would be given to him, he would have to take them for himself. He jumped at the sound of a loud laugh that came from above him. He looked up to see a strange bird sitting on the mast. “Hello, little bird,” he said, “are you laughing at me? How long have you been in this country? You probably know what’s about to happen to me, hey?” The bird tipped his head, let out another loud laugh, and flew away. Thomas looked around hoping no one had heard him speaking to a bird, but no one was paying him any attention. He looked back again at the scene before him and noticed a young boy with skin so dark that he blended into the shadow of the tree he was hiding behind. The boy was watching the proceedings of the fleet’s arrival with interest. Thomas wondered where the boy had come from. He had heard rumours that people had inhabited Australia before the British arrived, but the officers discouraged the convicts from talking about it. He kept watching the boy until it was his turn to board one of the small boats that would take him to his new life.

***

Waru stood, half hidden behind a large eucalyptus tree, watching as the new fleet of ships came into dock. At ten years old he knew that these people were not friends. He was angry that they had come to his people’s land and were treating it like it was their own. But he had always been a very curious boy and in this matter, he was no different. The settlers did many strange things, wore strange clothes, and spoke in strange voices, and he couldn’t help watching every time more of them arrived. He had witnessed the process enough times now that he knew what would happen without even needing to watch, but he stayed anyway. Smaller boats would go back and forth from the ship unloading the free people, then all the supplies and resources, and eventually the convicts. The convicts were the ones who interested Waru the most. They looked so sad, and he always wondered what lives they had lived before coming here. He noticed a young woman whose belly was round just like Waru’s own mothers’ belly was, and he wondered if she had a baby growing inside her too. Waru ventured closer to where the woman was standing with all the other convicts. They were being inspected by the officers and Waru could tell it made the woman uncomfortable. Waru thought she looked sick, and he wasn’t surprised when she leaned over and vomited. He looked around to see if any of the officers would help her, but no one did. He didn’t really expect them too, he had observed many times the poor treatment the convicts received. He thought about his own mother and how when she was sick from growing a baby, she would go to the Cleverman and he would give her a remedy to help settle her stomach. He wondered if this woman would receive anything to settle her stomach. He still hated the new settlers and wished they would all leave and go back to where they came from, but he couldn’t help feeling sorry for this woman who seemed so sad and alone.