On The 8th Day

He was exhausted. Six days had been enough. On the seventh day He rested.

But there was still so much work to be done. He thought long and hard about asking for assistance because He was used to doing things just so, His own way, exactly as He liked it.

In the end, He decided He hadn't any other choice.

First He asked Anakin Skywalker, but he was busy figuring out the force, and inadvertently kicked off quite a time with those pesky rebels.

So He rounded up the world's TV Evangelists. Said it was time to do the deed--the good deed. But they were busy making dough--dough they had no intention of ever putting toward a worthy cause. And not to let the door hit Him on His way out.

So He asked around. Planned to cash-in a few favors, get a little free advice from some lawyers just down the road. But after burning through the final reserves of His strength, He had to admit it -- He couldn't find a lawyer worth his salt, and certainly none willing to put in the work.

Down on His luck, He asked the angels if they'd put in a little elbow grease, but they were busy watching reruns of Supernatural, complaining about the show runners and how they got the Leviathan seasons all wrong.

Finally, He asked His baby sister if She wouldn't mind, just this once, putting in a little time. He needed help with His side hustle, if He asked nicely?

She said, "Every day this week, big bro, I've offered to lend a helping hand. But no, Mr. Omnipotent, you had to go it alone. I told you you'd exhaust yourself. I told you it was too much work for one god, but you wouldn't hear it. You knew better, didn't you? Well, lucky for you, I'm always happy to help." She winked and poked Him in the shoulder. "Come on, you know I'm just messing with you. What do you need me to do?"

"I need 40 days and 40 nights, oh, and two of every animal. And be aware, there will be rain, and lots of it, so wear your goulashes."

With that She turned Her back and started to walk out. "No can do, big bro," She tossed over Her shoulder. She was not about to risk Her Jimmy Choos.

"Wait, come back. JK. I've got a guy. But what I do need your help with is corralling the lesser gods. They're acting up all the time, getting in my way. I'm telling you, Zeus, for one, is fit to be tied. He keeps complaining about Typhon. I don't know the details and I don't need to. But it's getting kind of crazy down there. Since you volunteered, if you wouldn't mind, could you throw a little weight around? Maybe cast Typhon into Tartarus, you know, think outside the box. Oh, here's a thought. Bury him under Mount Etna? If that's cool with you? I trust you."

But little sis was having none of it. "Fool me once..." She had flashbacks of Her last run in with Medusa. Good thing She had known to shut Her eyes!

"Come on, big bro. Get real. What do you need me to do? Surely you've got a Top Ten List or something. I mean, even the late night talk show hosts have a Top Ten. I tell you what. I'll give you 60 seconds," She said, chuckling to Herself. She always had been a fine negotiator.

"Okay, fine," He said, leaning over the edge of His Jacuzzi to hand Her His list. It was as long as His arm, and that's saying something. "I might have left a few things off," He smiled with self-satisfaction. And then, at the last second, He added for Her sake, "take whatever liberties you might like."

Then fell asleep.

She took 5 seconds to warm Her tea and then, during the remaining 55 seconds, She fixed--in alphabetical order because She is a bit of a Type A personality:

• Abusive spouses people
• Ageism
• Alzheimer's
• Animal rights
• Anorexia
• Biodiversity
• Bad boy bands
• Bad drivers
• Cancer
• Childcare
• Childhood
• Crime
• Conspiracy theories
• Corduroys
• Dandruff
• Depression
• Education
• Famine
• Gender inequality
• Government
• Health care
• Homelessness
• Human rights
• Inflation
• Isolation
• Late night talk show hosts who aren't funny
• LGBTQIA+ rights
• Migraines
• Migration
• New country music
• Nuclear weapons
• Obesity
• Oil spills
• Pay inequity
• Pollution
• Poverty
• Racial inequality and injustice
• Religion
• Reproductive rights
• Stereotypes
• Suicide
• War
• Weapons of mass destruction
• Women's rights

and last but by no means least

• World peace

"But death, politicians, and taxes," She conceded, "that's all on you."

____________________

Copyright © 04/15/2024 by Christy Munson. All rights reserved.

Written for and inspired by Vocal's Just a Minute Challenge