Meeting Stuck Man

"The earth is flat", she heard Kade say.

"What? No it's not! You are one of those earther people!?", she couldn't resist saying.

"Not exactly. I use it to show a mind set. I know the earth isn't flat, but what difference is that to me. The earth is flat because that's what I see everyday when I open my door. That is the only fact that matters to me when I wake up in the morning and get going. The earth is flat is a joke of appreciation. It also shows my status. I don't travel or go anywhere. I work, I stay home, I look at the world through my window."

"You are weird. You have a weird sense of humor. She sighed in relief, "The earth is flat I guess for me too."

"Yup. There you go.", he reassured.

"It means I'm not a scientist, I just appreciate what I observe. What effects my life and me. I do get it, but you are weird.", she joked.

Kade gave her look like dont-I-know-it that made them both laugh.

It was immediately following this conversation  that she met Xavier for the first time.

Kade's son is named Heracles Xavier Douglas. Everyone just calls him Xavier or Doug-y. Heracles is too strange a name to encounter in today's world for most people. Xavier is different, but not so different that it makes you wonder if you heard correctly. Xavier is more 'times' appropriate. Plus, there is a University named this, which lends a slight prestige to it. Neither Kade or his son had ever been near Cincinnati, but no one else knew that.

Kade had gotten in a routine of meeting her two to three times a week to workout, do various projects, or just for fun. He offered a new focus. A new character to decipher. He wasn't particularly challenging, it seemed. She often even looked at him as more than just his character. That was saying a lot and she didn't quite understand how he did this mystic spell.

Her first meeting with Xavier had been short. A hi and bye interaction. Interactions between them had become more regular and frequent after the first meeting.

One afternoon Xavier brought a friend over who did call him Heracles. A theater class friend. She had brown hair and brown eyes with golden flecks in them. She had an innocent face with a mousey resemblance. She dressed more elegantly than her age and the occasion, but it seemed fitting for her personality. She wore expensive jeans with an emerald colored tube top. She covered that with a fitted dark blue jacket with golden yellow stripes. Her shoes were flats of the same golden yellow with an elaborate bow knot on the front. She came over to practice lines. It was a small school performance. Nothing spectacular was expected of the performance. Flyers were handed to parents, at pick up, inviting them to the amateur performance. She was fairly certain Xavier and his friend didn't actually want to practice lines. Instead, they were giving the best reason they could think of in order to hang out. At this stage and age, they needed a reason. The reason was a  shield for their shyness. When his friend said his name, it rolled out hopeful and light. It sounded beautifully normal unlike the way she had heard others. Others, including herself, were always starting off too harsh and ending too emphasized. More like Hercules. Not his friend. It stayed more even. She was sure the way this girl said it was the way his mother had intended. She would have let the girl say it too. It's hard to make Heracles sound normal and not like an old timey god name, but she managed it. She imagined his mother saying it like that. So lyrical. His mother had loved the stories, movies and characters of Heracles, or so Kade had explained. Everyone else however, was directed to call him Xavier. He was quick to remind people who forgot, this included her.

Xavier was tall with walnut colored hair and green eyes. He did theater and played sports. He wasn't bad at school, but also wasn't the best student. More a symptom of interest, she decided. He showed no signs of lingering trauma even tho his mom had passed away when he was younger. Maybe his insistence on being called Xavier was a sign. Kade had told her that as soon as Xavier's mom was gone he refused to let others call him by his real first name. However, to her, it just seemed a normal request for someone who began to notice their name was different than everyone elses. He appeared to have no lingering trauma. Maybe this spoke to Kade's abilities as a father and just as a human being.

She and Xavier got along. All her apprehension in the beginning turned to wasted time after that first meeting. Heracles was definitely his father's son. At another previous meeting at Kade's home, Xavier was about to eat an apple on the couch. He said, "he had been with a friend and his Dad when they saw a guy selling apples for very cheap at a stand. He had heaps of them. So they bought enough to fill the back of his friends dads truck".  He told her the apple he was holding was the first one he was trying. He said, " he had a whole giant barrel of them in the kitchen". Then he preceded to tell her she could have the apple since he hadn't bitten it yet, he would get another. She had said, sorry, but that she couldnt help with any of the apples she was highly allergic to apples. Xavier immediately got up right then, before she could say anything. Before he saw her smile ironically. He struggled, wiggle-rolled the barrel out of the house. He took all the apples to the back shed, even the one he had almost put to his mouth and handed to her. He locked the shed once the barrel was inside then came in and wiped the kitchen where the apples had been. Once he had done that, he came in to say the house was now safe. "Completely safe!". He then went back to playing games and this time eating a banana. He offered her half, but she declined since she felt bad he hadn't understood her joke. She watched stunned. She had said she was allergic because he had just gotten so many apples. She imagined Kade and the boy trying to eat all the apples themselves before going bad. Then on realizing they couldn't possibly eat all those apples trying to sell them on the side of the sidewalk near home like the man who had sold them to him. Completing a full circle. Now that she repeated it in explanation to herself, it sounded dumb, but it was an honest mistake, she had tried to be brat funny. Not kid humor, especially a kid who didn't know her. Plus she had heard kids these days didn't find things like this funny. The woke brigade. She got that now. Now every Thanksgiving she'd have to avoid apple pie or risk explaining this moment. It was still a heroically sweet action on Xavier's part. He is sincere like his father. She still remembers Kade in the hospital bed asking if she was okay from her tripping on the sidewalk after he had been rescued from the pipe. Kade came in and threw her an apple. She instinctively caught his toss perfectly. Xavier had yelled, "Dad No, she's allergic!" Kade had smiled and laughed and said "good one". Finally the smile could come out and she took a bite. Kade told her he had already loaded a small box of them into her car. We watched as Xavier's expression went from concern, to confusion, and then landed somewhere between annoyance at old people humor and amusement at a silly joke she had let pass. Finally he had said, "You have a weird sense of humor, but I get it. Funny. How long were you going to let me believe you were allergic?" she had responded "until Thanksgiving". They all paused, and then started laughing at the situation. That seemed to be the moment that broke the ice between her and Xavier. This interaction made her recall her prior conversation with Kade and his flat earth comment. It seemed to her they were all peas in a pod.

That was just over three months ago now. Today Xavier sat at the kitchen table reading on his phone. He is a procrastinator who swares this is how his best work gets done. He calls it his super human ability. He said to older people it should be considered his artwork, his craft. She herself had spent two hours scrolling news on her phone this morning. Sometimes it's hard to not get sucked in. There was always something to get caught up on. She wondered if by telling her what he told older folks was his way of flattering her or insulting her. His way of implying he considered her younger than old folks since he told her initially it was his super human ability. Either way, she didn't feel it was her place to advise him on time management. She had known plenty of procrastinators that made it work. She was not one usually, but everything has it's place. She also wasn't sure if she should be complimented or insulted. She was kinda in the middle of wanting to be seen as looking young, but having wisdom of an older person. She certainly didn't want to be his peer. Kid's are tricky.

Xavier broke the silence from his reading with an idea for Kade, "What if you collected bids for a contract for a space to operate.", Xavier offered.

"So I'd be declining this situation for a similar one. No. Besides I'm not sure that's how it works, usually contracts to bid on are for warranties, number of parts, materials, etc", Kade responded. "It makes meetings shorter and streamlines the products development and selling."

"Well they can't win! You can't let them! There has to be a way to win! You should expose them. I could tell the local news or something. TMZ!"

"TMZ wouldn't care. We are not celebrities. The local news would make too much of it. They would snoop into all of us and who needs that. No, declining is winning. Leaving and the freedom to do so is enough."

"So you are leaving? I'm kinda with Xavier on this one", She couldn't stop herself before it came out,  "Any part of the process can be auctioned."

"I think so. I haven't figured anything out yet. It's just the easiest thing to do. I can't afford the new rent and I'm sure they want a tenant to replace me and my potential role in their business. They still want to go forward with it. They are fixing the auctions. There are so many techniques", Kade says while squinting his eyes.

"Why not just do it", Xavier tries to persuade.

"Don't start with that again.", Kade warned in his scary parental voice.

"He's not exactly wrong", I interject.

"So it's both of you today?", he said staring a deep penetrating stare in Susies direction. I feel ambushed. Ganged up on.", he went to the sink to wash his hands. "Susie you are supposed to be on my side. Isn't that the point of friends."

The dirt turned the soap suds into a brown lather. She watched as the water cleared the brown foam to reveal his clean fleshy hands. Work hands. Kade had giant knuckles and deep creases on his hands. They carried a few sun spots like no other place on his body. She hadn't seen him naked, but she assumed from having seen him with his shirt off. She was also pretty sure he had arthritis, but she hadn't asked. She felt this could also be assumed by the way he rubbed them. Kade looked younger for his age, except for his hands. They revealed his hidden trials and tribulations. The years of work. They hinted at an older soul underneath the charmer. She loved his hands, they held truth.

"Kade, I've been looking into the reverse auctions and I don't think it's a bad idea. Maybe with those guys it is because they want to fix or abuse it, but it could be good. Cuts down negotiating time as you said, but it's more than that. I had an idea with how you could use it to your advantage with your landlords."

"I'm not starting a war."

"Well would you hear me out. You could do this. We could reverse the entire process from what your owners want. You could be the buyer for licensing, consulting and implementation, and on some comodities. Then turn around and be a seller for your parts commodities and even services. We just need to plan. You could take what you have right now and use it as a way to start over. You could take a hit on price initially, but gain more in the long run. What are people always saying.....oh yes, it's the long game that counts. (She had heard this in a movie a month ago and then it began popping up everywhere. Annoyingly so.) I'll explain better later. Your landlords aren't prepared to accept the prices. That's why they are swapping out cheaper supplies bc then they feel they have won no matter what, to break even, but people aren't stupid. It's bad business. We could do this. We'd set a bottom line and not go beyond that. We'd be prepared."

"Reverse the Reverse auction, I like it", Xavier supports.

"No, use the reverse auction as it is intended. Help your Dads business and others. Reverse the mindset and actions going into it. Move on, be happy, be typical in the world. Live on the flat earth!

"But do I want to? I know nothing about this.", Kade wavered.

"My therapist suggested I learn something new. Consider this me doing that. We should wait until your landlords have completed their first auction. Then, We do ours. If they find out and want money for the idea or something we can threaten by exposing them to the sellers."

"Are you trying to get me stuck in a pipe again?! Hahaha okay, I think you watch too many movies, but I will hear you out. I think I may need to share with your therapist what you are learning?"

"Please do and mention how I got into learning this. I'm sure he's always looking for new clients. She clears her throat, "As I was sayig, What if we fixed the reverse auction ourselves, but with some of your landlords sellers. Maybe we could gain a upper hand in their supply chain. Then get your rent back down."

"I wouldn't want to stay after that. I think it's like you said, we could do this on our own."

"We could win, We could have it all! Or You could win and have it all, you know what I mean, she said in a way that implied she was just throwing it out there casually. A little embarrased after showing too much enthusiasm. So she flung words as if they were a pair of jeans being flung at the hamper. Jeans that landed on the floor and just were left where they lie.

"We could have it all", Kade repeated.

"Fix it by being smarter, not breaking any rules. Invite the companies from their auction for contracts they may need. We'd be higher in the hierarchy.", she continued.

"We already are and didn't have to do anything. No. I don't want to be in business with them. Any of them.", Kade repeated sternly.

"Could I just put a plan together or think about it a little more.", she pleaded.

"Yes, but our own thing. If you want to waste your time, who am I to stop you. You won't mind if I also look into houses and other jobs, would you? I will also research more about reverse auction sites, Im intrigued. "Can we be done for now with this topic?", He asked.

"New job and houses? I wish you'd wait."

"Why?"

They both knew what she wanted to say, but didn't. Instead she just stared at him with a bewildered overburdened expression. Finally coming across the words, "Because we are friends". It is true, he had quickly become her favorite friend. Even though the thought of him leaving made her want to scream and cry from risk of losing her mind without him.

"Lucky for you, my friends aren't required to fix my problems or my issues in life. Also I'm looking at houses and work spaces that are close and farther away. I want to see what is available to me."

"Lucky for you, I don't look at it like that. Please let me see what I can figure out.", she kept pleading.

"Okay, you can have a few weeks.", he offered.

"You can see whats available, that's a good idea.", she reassured.

"Now can you both help me with installing the new landscaping.", Kade said while standing up and shaking out his arms.

"It's hot, why are we installing new landscaping if we are going to move.", Xavier protested.

"It ups our homes value. Plus I'm teaching you things. Come on lets go, up and out."

Xavier turns to her, "You heard, up and out. He's teaching us things. Things I hope I never need to know."

Susie couldn't help but laugh at Xavier's lack of enthusiasm. He is definitely a kid, she couldn't blame him, it was hot.

"Things to save you money when you are older, so you don't have to pay somebody unless you want to. You two go ahead, I need to use the bathroom.  I will be out after.", Susie said to back up Kade.

Xavier seemed to think about what she had just said and it settled into his reasoning. He found a new importance to the work. He liked the power of decision. He added, "Or maybe I'm rich and I could help the economy and a small business and pay to have it done, but good to know I guess."

She carried her smile from Xavier's reasoning with her as she entered the house to use the bathroom. She did need to use the bathroom and had every intention of doing just that, but on the way to the bathroom she saw some papers on the end of the counter. One was a flyer for his business the others were contracts. The name in the upper corner read Lekroy & Sons on the first, Metal direct on the second, and Power Up on the third.  Underneath the contracts lay a tax return for K.D. Parts. She was pleasantly surprised that his business made money. This didn't surprised her, but it also did. She wasn't sure why she had carried the expectation that he wasn't wealthy in his own right, but she had. Self employed is usually difficult. In fact, now she felt bad that she was now the one less independently money smart. She was corporate. She works at an insurance agency, but it wasn't bad except that it was an insurance agency. People were always joking she worked for the devil. She'd remind, a necessary devil. She took a couple pictures of the documents on the counter with her phone. She then proceded to use the bathroom and go outside. She'd needed these pics to support her research. She needed to identify and vet the best sellers and buyers. She'd need to figure out the starting point. Would she be a part of a revearse auction first as a seller or first as a buyer. She would probably do a ranked auction or outcry. She had also heard of a Dutch auction, but knew less about it. She had a lot of planning and thinking to do. She needed to find someone who had held a reverse auction before and learn all she could. She needed to uderstand Kades business assets and current contract with Lekroy & Sons and at termination of his contract with Lekroy and Sons. She would love to kick all the Lekroy sons and Sr. in their little Lekroys and sons. There was so much to learn it became overwhelming to view it as a whole. It would have to be done one step at a time.

Her phone rang. Her husband on the other side.

"Hello, Oh okay, Yes I can do that. Sorry I missed you I'm at Kade's house. Oh okay. Well I'm disappointed I missed you. Oh, um wait, I, hello, hello....", She put her cell away realizing he was no longer on the line.

"He's busy.", she explains embarrassed.

"He didn't say he loved you.", Kade states. "Every call with ANY loved one should end with a I love you."

"Now who watches too many movies. He was busy. He is going out of town tonight. He needs me to mail a package that he left on the counter for me."

"Where is he going?"

"Out of town on business. He left the info on the counter, he didn't have time to explain it."

"Rushed meeting I guess", she could read the skepticism on his face. It was the same skepticism she had felt hearing it.

"So you are free for dinner?"

"No, I need to mail his package and do a couple things."

"Oh right, okay."

"Want to watch a movie together by phone later?", she countered.

"Sure", he said. "Things I would never do until meeting you"

"That is not weird Dad", Xavier interjected.

"Okay okay, call me later.", he agreed.

"Will do."

At 9pm she called Kade. They decided on the 'Legend of Bagger Vance'. He complained of troupes present in it, but ultimately agreed it is a good movie. She offered 'Tin Cup', he then complained that both were good and now he couldn't decide.

They decided on 'Bagger Vance' and to Save 'Tin Cup' for another night.

Kade would make funny comments and point out little facts as did she.

At the end of the movie Kade said with full commited sincerity, "Thats it, I'm inspired, I want to be a golfer or caddy."

"You golf?",she asked after realizing another thing she didn't know about him.

"No never in my life, at least not well.", he answered.

She laughed, "better get better, don't business meetings happen over golf?"

"They can, I know enough. What do you have planned for tomorrow?"

"I have therapy tomorrow afternoon and work before that", Susie shared. "I made some new connections that might help us."

"Did you know that Lekroy Submits low bids at the end of  auctions and then pulls out before signing the contract and then they hold the next bid that is not nearly as low, but they win a better contract that way. Cartel-ish behavior."

"How'd you learn that?", she questioned.

"You don't need a therapist. You don't need therapy. The only thing wrong with you is your refusal to acknowledge what you know. I don't know why you lie to yourself and play these games.", Kade said in a bored voice as if watching a rerun of something he's seen a hundred times. His annoyance annoying her. His ignoring her question also frustrating.

"Did you hear me, about the auction? I found some people who may help us", she said annoyed. She continued on the other topic.

"I heard. Why do you care so much? Don't you have your own problems to focus on? Or are you still not acknowledging what you know?", he continues.

"What do I know?, She said aggressively defensive(Said like the Phoenix in Xmen last stand when she wakes up and asks wolverine if he wants to control her). "Oh you know me soooo well. We are friends for like 3 seconds in time and you know."

"Yeah, I guess I do. Better than you."

"You are just mad and trying not to focus on your problems, your lies to the self (her speech was getting jumbled as it did when she got angry) so you are turning it away from you. Starting a fight to ignore what is really bothering you. The auction and house search is stressing you out. You are taking it out on me because you can't with Xavier. You ...", she muttered.

"Don't do that. Don't make me flat on a page. Don't make me one of your characters. Writing out all my character intricacies."

"And what were you doing? I can't believe you used what I told you. I make people characters because that's all anyone is. What are you doing?", She pushed for a response.

"Acknowledging who you are? I am the only person trying to do that. And that's not what I mean, you know that. We are all characters because that's all you will let anyone be. Characters come from human traits, don't forget that." , he pushed.

"What does that mean?! You don't get to...", she stopped, "I can't", good night."

"Good Night.", he said. She felt she heard a hint of regret in his good bye.

‐----------------------------------

She hadn't talked to Kade for a week, since the movie night. She was letting the relationship breathe. It hadn't stopped her from working on a plan and beginning to set up a practice reverse auction online. She got the basics. They would have a ranked auction. She needed to meet Kade. She was excited to share everything she had been working on. She knew he would be unaffected by the other night. He'd be ready to catch up and forget the time lost between them. She called to see if he could meet later. He agreed to meet later after he dropped Xavier at his friends house that afternoon. They'd meet at a cafe near her home.

When he arrived she felt relief on seeing him. However, he didn't seem completely himself. She waited under the green awning just outside the front of the cafe.

"Is everything okay?"

"Why shouldn't it be. How's therapy going? Did he reassure you in what you think? Did you make him feel like progress was happening?"

"What is your problem? I haven't seen you in a week or talked and this is...", she faded off. She dropped the folder on the sidewalk where they were talking and walked away without looking back. Its funny how walking can become awkward and challenging when you focus on doing it a certain way. She tried to walk off confidently, but she knew she looked like she was forcing it. An awkward model on a runway. The same thing happened when she tried to focus on breathing. She'd typically start to hyperventilate when she really focused on it. Doctor's were always telling her to breathe and focus on her breath. That is the worst advice. Yoga classes were impossible and stress invoking for this reason. She'd overly compensate. She was sure that was happening with her walk, but it kept her from thinking of what he really said and how much she cared. How she knew he might be right.

A sinking crawling feeling of shame was throwing her off. If there was a machine measuring levels, her comfortable air of right was slowly diminishing while simultaneously shame and guilt stemming from truth were increasing. Was she that easy. It wasn't exactly 3 seconds in time, but their time together is a blip in time. She wiped the machines analysis with annoyance, she could coast on that for a while. Why had he been like that?

She knew he'd pick up the folder. She didn't worry about that. He hadn't even yelled anything at her as she walked off. He hadn't looked mad. He lookd genuine, as he always did. He had had sympathy in his eyes. Maybe he was trying to distance her from it. Take his problems away from her. Maybe she was using him and his problems as a distraction from her own, but so what.

She had developed a full plan, found a small house for him near a school his kid could attend in a town a little more north. It had great reviews and test scores. It was known as being relatively safe. She had also found some job listings she thought he'd be qualified for. She was sure he wouldn't need them, but she would let him choose. She had worked on it every free time, early morning and late night she had.

He knew nothing. Did he grow up with a wonderful person just to sit in hospital rooms with doctors who could do the same as she could; Watch a person die and be stripped of life slowly and everything she had worked for until it was gone. Damn, he had endured his wifes death, but that sounded nothing like what she had endured. He hadn't. She had to sit there and watch as Her mother's life had been rendered less significant than it should be for such a talent. People are cruel and selfish. It wasn't her fault they were flat characters, she could only write what she knew. Did he lose his self and voice as he aged into adulthood. Damn everything. Damn the world. Damn these Flat characters who refused to reveal themselves. Damn this flat earth! She decided to call her therapist. Her mom and Kade were unrelated. The two things were totally unrelated, but in this moment all of it was tied inextricably together. She didn't care if it was irrational. The world was irrational, she was just acting in accordance with the worlds stupidity. How ungrateful it all is.

"Dr. Hershauser's office please. I need an emergency session."

The receptionist was checking the schedule.

"Yes online in 15 is fine, Thank you."

She went inside. Her laptop was always kept to the side of the desk. She moved some sweaters that had been shoved off the desk and lay draped in the space. She pulled out her laptop and plugged it in.
By the time she had it set up and logged in it was time for her appointment. She was waiting in a virtual waiting room. How does life manage to make virtual as obnoxious as in person. Virtually as stupid as real life! Why do we set things up this way. She felt like Kong on a rampage.

Twenty minutes later the Dr. was logging in. She started talking. Explaining everything. She knew he was bound by confidentiality. She let everything spill out, like a maple tree being tapped for syrup.

"Woah, slow down, breathe. Breathe."

There were those Damn words again. She looked around her small house. Nothing in it resembling her. Most of it approved by her husband and his friends or her meager salary. The dart board sat unhung. She had asked him to hang it up months ago.  A new modern painting her husband purchsed last week was hung in place of one they had purchased at the start of their relationship. A hideous grotesque work that made her want to look away or scratch her eyes out to not have to view it and feel what it conveyed. She realized in that precise moment this is what years of therapy amounted to. It wasn't the doctors fault, but none of that mattered. She was stuck.

"This was a mistake. I don't want to breathe. My body does that, I shouldn't have to think about it. I want you to listen and get on my level. But you can't do that, the Dr. in you can't. This was a mistake and your services will no longer be needed for me. Ummm thank you.", she closed her laptop feeling liberated.

The only person she wanted to call was Kade. She wanted to know what was wrong. The green vase on the counter fractured the light coming in through the kitchen window. An antique green vase she purchased in college. She was that green vase. She picked it up and threw the contents of it in the sink and then brought it to her chest to hug. There was a knock at the door. She went to open the door with the vase still held to her chest.

"It's you."

"Yes"

"I'm this vase.", she felt tears come to her eyes and spill over.

"Okay, it's a nice vase. Pretty beautiful actually.", he said in a soft, cushioned  padded way that she needed.

"I was trying to help you.", she explained sappily.

He showed he had the folder in hand, "I know. I'm going to do it. All of it. I want you to work with me on it. I can't do any of it without you. I'm sorry for earlier."

"Yes you could.", she proposed back.

"Do you want to do it?", he asked.

"Kinda", she replied

"There is that kinda again. Come on ask yourself and answer honestly. Not for me, for you. None of this is you in your life. It's organized as you, but not you. Except maybe that vase you are holding.", he smiled, acknowledging how she was craddling it with importance.

"I bought it in college. I saw it and bought it. It's a vintage piece made by a company that specialized in home decor. How do you do this?"

"Do what?"

"Confuse me, make me think life has real choices."

"Because it should.Your husband would be fine with it. He has a ton of work and friends. He would hate how it looked, but after that he would be okay. He barely cares when you are here. He doesnt care when you are gone. You are an inconvenience to him that he has to manage, but you do the most for him unquestioningly and you really should ask more questions. You work hard for everyone you care about. You are smart."

She knew he was right she probably should ask more.

"He probably would be happier. Thanks for that realization. You are just so supportive today. Nice. Why were you that way earler?"

He got in her face and was holding her face infront of his.

"We could do this. I'm sorry because I shouldn't have been that way to you. I don't want to make it a habit of you un-sticking me. That and I don't think anything is wrong with you. Others, yes. You, no."

"I think I like you too much.", she blurted out irrationally.

"What is too much? I know I like you, soooo much.", he added. Thats why we would be good business buddies. We can trust one another. We could start fresh, both of us. You could be free of all this stuff you carry around."

"What if I can't?"

"Than I'll help carry it. What are you going to do, stay like this?"

"So it's all or nothing? Why do I feel like you are making me apologize", she looked at the vase in her hands. Choices aren't that easy in life for most. There are no such thing as real sensible choices. Before she could rationalize it she threw the vase to the ground.  She pushed past Kade and ran outside. She looked right and then left. She looked back this time as she ran out. She saw thousands of little emeralds scattered about the floor. She had no idea where she should go, but she couldn't breathe. She ran to the street outside her front door. She tripped as she looked back. She fell and the contents fell out of her bag. Deja vu of their first meeting. She heard footsteps following her. She felt a warm hand grab hers and pull her up and in forcefully. It pulled her into an all encompassing hug she couldn't pull away from. Kade smelled of Stetson cologne. He was warm and surprisingly strong, she couldn't wriggle away. He caught his breath at the same time she caught hers.

"It's not all or nothing. I'm sorry that's how it came off. It's not. You don't need to apologize. You are great. I actually missed talking to you this week. I just feel like I need your help. I'm not use to that. It was all so great. You are great. You are more than an asset. I need you. My life feels happier with you in it. It is a real choice. By the way I'll find you another green vase, like the one you had too. I'll get you a new one. I feel half responsible for it's destruction. You don't need to decide anything right now. Thank you for the folder and all the research you did for me, for us. If you can't help any more, that's okay too. We will remain friends, always. Fate brought us together. You are stuck with me now. But you made this plan. I see it working if you and I do it."

She had never met someone, outside of her mom, who knew how to calm her down. Who knew what words to say to her. There was no criticism or judgement. There was no harshness. No force other than an embrace begging her to calm and realize it was okay. Trying to convince her of real choices outside of just the rational choice. The sane safe best choice. It could be figured out. There was no constant reminder of why she is mentally feebly weak. He was right, she didn't need therapy. She just needed to stop ignoring everything that she knew. Everything she felt, but chose to not recognize. She needed to acknowledge herself. Everything therapy tried to do. All the real choices life tries to hide or take away through camouflage. It was her refusal to acknowledge what she knows that kept her in therapy all this time.

Kade went back into her home. He began sweeping up all the green little emerald pebbles. Instead of throwing them away he gathered them into a small backpack he had with him.

"What are you doing with those?"

"It's trash right?"

"Yes, I guess", she said sadly.

Before she could probe she heard another set of foot steps walk in.

"What happened here?", Her husband asked on walking in.

"She accidentally broke a vase.", Kade answered. "I think we got it cleaned up. I am leaving. I just wanted to talk to your wife about working together."

"She's been working hard on that business plan. I thought it was done?", her husband mentioned.

"I can tell. I would love for her to be part of it", Kade responded. "If that is okay with you too."

In that moment she knew she would never do anything to compromise her and Kade's friendship. It was too important. She needed the friendship too much to cloud it with any romantic feelings. Their relationship went deeper than that. She knew he would always be there for her. This reassurance was becoming everything. Becoming a reason for action.

Kade said bye and made plans to talk later.

"Should I be jealous", her husband asked.

"No, I don't think so. Should I be jealous of your associate Lin?", she asked.

"Definitely", he joked.

She probably should have been annoyed, but it alleviated any guilt she would have felt so she said nothing.

"I'm kidding. No one is replacing you. You are good at anything you put your mind to."

She awkwardly gave him an uncomfortable hug.

"Don't worry about the vase, it wasn't so great anyways.", her husband tried to soothe.

"Oh you didn't like it?", she asked.

"It wasn't us.", he responded.

She couldn't disagree. It wasn't them. It was in no way them.

Her phone kept continually buzzing in her back pocked. So continuously it gave the same feeling as when a mosquito is buzzing close to your ear repeatedly. Out of frustration she answered it.

"Dr. Hershauser? Um okay. Well.....Yes.....but....I guess so.....that would be alright....yes.....my level. She couldn't help it. She had asked him to get on her level and here he was. She actually understood how he must feel most days as she sat and listened to his rambling rant. She decided he must actually care about her in that moment. He broke with his character and persona to reach out to her. He had slightly snapped it seemed. He had to have listened to her rant because he was actually being very helpful. He explained he ran a group that had a client that may be able to help her. He also had another private client who also was of interest, but he'd have to reach out to them first to get consent to give out their contact info. They were both men who could be of interest to Kade's situation. The dr. was telling her in the future however, "this was not the way to get things accomplished". He felt she should continue therapy and that now he felt he had a better understanding of her. She couldn't help but think it was the way to actually get things done, but she also wasn't trying to make a habit of it. She agreed to continue meeting with him, not because he helped her, but because now she actually saw the value in it all. She felt real progress could be made. She was a little worried about doing business with men in therapy, but she decided this was an unfair judgment. They were actually seeing the same therapist as her, that should mean something.  It should lend a positive perspective somehow.

She'd see the plan through with Kade. He was trying to save her from the pipe she was stuck in. The one she had hurled herself into. The fact that Kade was only physically saved from his pipe, but essentially still in it, is enough to pull her out of her own.


Part 1 of Stuck Man: https://vocal.media/fiction/meeting-stuck-man

Part 3 of Stuck Man: https://vocal.media/fiction/meeting-stuck-man-vzxrf0wh8

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