IT'S NO MYSYTERY

The door chimes, in walks Sarah and Monica.

“Whatever you’re going to order, it's gonna be toast and eggs, we’re all out of everything else.” The waitress yelled from across the tiny diner while taking a gentleman's order. The gentleman smacks his teeth and slides past the waitress to leave the diner.

Sarah sits down and lights what’s left of a cigar. Monica reaches for an ashtray.

“I’ve never seen a little lady smoke a cigar”, a talk lanky bug eyed cook slurs.

“Aren’t most cooks fat and sloppy?” Sarah replies.

The cook nods his head while staring intently then says, “Guess what? I just got a fresh order of t-bones and russet potatoes.”

Sarah chuckles “Make it two and don’t put any dreams on it, uh?”

“My name's Russ”, he acknowledges.

“Sarah and”, Monica interjects, “and the lady who wants the 1 toast, 3 over easy eggs, 2 cups of hot water, and some strawberry jam and butter, you make that happen I’ll write a rave review.”

Russ nods his head.

Curiously, while cleaning tables the waitress engages, “review? love we’re in the middle of nowhere. Reviews are for city people. What would city people be doing here?”

Monica spins around, the waitress stops her table cleaning, they stare at one another and Monica says “eating.”

A brown cat comes from a kitty door on the side of the diner.

It’s meow breaks the awkward stare off between the waitress and Monica.

“Hey, waitress, how many people work here?” Sarah says.

“What kind of question is that? You casing the place?” Waitress rebuttals while getting back to cleaning.

“Maybe we just want to earn some extra money.” Sarah replies.

“Maybe we want to buy it and make it better, you know how us city people are.” Monica objects.

“Ain't but me, I’m Russ, don’t forget my name. Caroline but she likes to be called C.A. She's got plans to go to California and open a chain of small diners. Plus, waitress there.” Russ proudly shares.

Sarah still prying questions, “How is it that only the three of you work this place and the lights are still on? Share the secret.”

“This diner is owned by a local. He comes a few times a month, gives a hand. Other than that we’ve got a way about us, and people respect that.” The waitress puts emphasis on respect as she walks behind the counter to serve their plates with a grin.

Sarah keeps her cigar lit and sits it in the ashtray.

Monica takes the silverware out of the napkin to her left. Puts them in the hot water. Both Russ and the waitress are watching her intently. She opens her military backpack and adds three drops of some oil.

Sarah begins cutting her stake into preferred pieces.

“Russ, this t-bone is cooked perfectly. A man like you shouldn’t be in such a small place.” Sarah takes a bite. “Oh you don’t worry, it’s not you. Monica is a very cautious person. See, watch this.”

Monica pulls out a small steeping tin, pours some herbs in it along with some ph water drops.

“What’s that?” The waitress submits.

“This is going to kill any parasites that try to eat me from the inside.” Monica gives in as well.

Sarah leans into the waitress and asks, “If someone was trying to eat you from the inside out, wouldn’t you defend yourself?”

The waitress slightly leans back and answers, “I don’t think about stuff like that but I guess.”

Monica covers her hot water mug and starts wiping the silverware from the other hot water mug. She spreads jam and butter on her toast then closes the bread together. Right as she reaches for the pepper shaker the door chimes.

It’s another woman.

The woman sits at the counter and says, “I’ll have 2 coffees, 1 egg, 1 hash brown.”

“You got it,” the waitress affirms.

Sarah grabs her cigar and takes a sip from Monica's silverware hot water mug.

Monica shakes her head.

“Well, hook it up for me. Sheesh you didn’t order me a thing to drink then you judge me when I get what’s here for me.” Sarah kids with Monica. She loves to kid Monica.

Monica ignores her and keeps eating. She's sopping her toast in egg yolk.

“If you could stick it to the man, you would?” Sarah says to Monica. Monica shrugs her shoulders and keeps eating.

Sarah continues, “It’s hypothetical, not, you know, incriminating.”

“If I'm going to stick it to anything or anyone, it's going to be for the right reasons. Who’s the man?” Monica jests.

“Monica, I’m being serious with you. You would or you wouldn't?” Sarah evokes.

“Hypothetically, no wires? Let me check you” Monica jokingly pats Sarah. “Okay okay, hypothetically….. I’d stick the man. Or I mean it - to him. Whichever would hurt more. I’d do it. But for the right reasons.” Monica highlights.

“Would you be remorseful?” Sarah puts her head on fist and leans it to the side while puffing her cigar.

“Right reasons? HELL NO! But! I may wonder if I did everything right. You know I think these things linger in history rather people know about them. I wouldn’t want someone to follow me in 15 years and along the way I made a mistake and now it's affecting them.” Monica clears up.

“Oh, okay, I see. I see… so..?” Sarah tries to elicit a deeper conversation.

“So what Sarah? Okay, I see. How about you? Would you stick it to the man?” Monica says with irritation.

Sarah tries to hold back a big happy smile and answers with passion, “YUP! In any way I knew how.”

“Good, good for you. Can we eat now?” Monica encourages.

“I’d like a to-go box.” Sarah puts her hand up to get the waitress’s attention. “Can we eat now? Can we eat now, yours is almost gone. Can we eat now”

A police car whisks into the driveway. Everyone looks out, except Russ, because the diner layout doesn’t allow it. Two officers hop out swiftly. The room goes stone cold.

Russ shouts from the kitchen, “I smell cops.” The two cops laugh and go behind the counter to reach through the kitchen window and shake Russ’s hand.

“As always, it’s still warm. I tried to make some donuts. They turned out horrible. So instead I made these little peach cobbler bites. Aww, I’m so proud of myself. I might ask Jeuneuf to put them on the menu.” Russ pokes his boney chest out and seeks validation.

One officer looks out the corner of his eye at Russ. Opens his boxed up food.

Russ gets giddy and rubs his hands together while smiling.

The officer pulls out a peach cobbler bite. He slowly brings it to his mouth.

“It wasn’t me, she killed the man.” Sarah belts while shooting out of her seat. Monica rolls her eyes then slowly stands up, “I’m going to use the restroom.”

Both officers, slightly confused, put their food down. “I have to use the restroom too,” Sarah says. As she starts making her way to the door the officers exclaim, “Hey!”.

“There's only one toilet in there. So just come have a seat. Go check the plates of both of those cars out there.” One officer says to the other. He marches off.

“I want you to hurry up in there” the officer shouts to Monica in the restroom.

“The man asks, he receives.” Monica pushes the door open abruptly and exits slowly. The officer flinched for his weapon but decided to leave it in the holster.

“My turn?” Sarah asks innocently. The officer nods.

The other officer comes back in, “all the plates out there are clean. No missing, stolen, swapping, wanted, nothing”

“Is this just a joke?” The officer demands Monica to reply.

“Is this an interrogation?” Monica sips her hot tea completely down, “I don’t have representation and well, I don’t feel comfortable speaking to a man who almost shot me.”

“Russ, have a good night.” The officer grabs his and his peers' food and walks from behind the counter.

Sarah comes out of the restroom and says, “Officers could you please sit down. There's something important, a moralistic legend, we’d like to share.”

“WE?” Monica confronts Sarah.

“Oui Oui” Sarah does not avoid Monica.

“Ladies, we know you aren’t from here. Maybe it’s been a long night and you thought it’d be funny or cute to fool around but here, we take serious matters seriously. As a precaution because I can’t control my colleagues, I recommend you don’t do this to any other officers in this area. Trust me.” The officer declares and they both exit.

Monica pulls a remote out of her pocket and presses a button.

The diner lights go out. Its pitch black. The only light on is half a mile down. The officers pull out their flashlights but they are useless. The air inside the diner is thick and dusty. Particles are reflecting back.

“Is everyone okay?” One of the officers searches.

Four gunshots go off.

“I want everyone to come to the first booth by the door and sit down. Officers take off your shirts and put your weapons on the floor. Waitress, I want you to sit in between the officers. 2 coffees, 1 egg, 1 hash brown, I want you to sit next to Russ on the outside. We can see you all because we’re wearing tactical masks. My name is Lieutenant Sarah Walsh.”

Monica takes her turn, “My name is Commander Monica Streets and we want to help you all get out of this alive. Before we continue you must know, we did not come here with the intent to do this. In fact, we really were just, eating. Before we got here we killed 18 police officers, 3 navy seals, and 1 lawyer. For some odd reason Sarah wants to talk about this. I don’t but I signed a contract with her saying I’d spend the next 5 years eliminating a list of people known as the man.”

“That’s right! And as I reflect on this whole interaction, I’m epiphanied, if that's a word. I see an opportunity to share something that a small town like this doesn’t care to think about. You see, we are taught to see continents, countries, states, cities or towns, neighborhoods, and people. But you know what else there is? A planet. This is a large planet and amongst this planet are others and so much more. While I worked my way up in the military I saw things about this planet. Most of those things I would never try to ask someone to understand. However, when I see people take their life sooooooo seriously, it drives me up the wall '' Sarah pauses as she sees the officer trying to seize an opportunity, “Officer you’re pointing that gun at Russ. Are you hearing impaired?”

The officer puts the gun on the floor.

Monica tags in, “Maybe he is.”

Sarah asks, “Are you officer?”

His voice shaky yet confident, “No one is dying here and you’re going to prison.”

Becoming more agitated Sarah speaks, “Who cares about going to prison, without knowledge we could escape. See you aren’t listening again. Why do you think you have the right to take your life so seriously? Who gave you that luxury?”

Confused, the other officer questions, “Is life not about pressing matters?”

“See that English language is tricky, synonyms don't necessarily mean the same things. Kind of like uniforms don’t magically make you and your colleague think the same.” Sarah addresses.

“Can we finish this already?” Monica forces the issue at hand. “I don’t want to give them the answer but I don’t want to be here all night.”

“Okay! Here we go. If any of you can answer 2 questions honestly, AND resolve, we will leave. If not, we will slowly help you become what you truly want. Monica?” Monica takes the platform and a tension in the room grows. Even Monica and Sarah feel worried. The truth is, they didn’t want to kill those people. Those people genuinely wanted to leave Earth.

“Are we playing? Starting with unknown lady. If your answer is yes say 1, if your answer is no say 2.” Monica leaves room for her reply

“Um, I would say, 1, no 2.” The lady wanted to recant again but she was so overwhelmed she went silent.

“Explain, please,” Monica says.

“Well, I’m not sure. I just think maybe you aren’t being serious.” Sarah cuts her off with a gunshot. The waitress screams.

Monica continues “What about you Russ? 1 or 2?”

“Don't let me down Russ!” Sarah begs.

“1!” Russ firmly blurts out, another gunshot.

Okay, waitress, what do you think? Monica asks.

The waitress pauses, she pauses so long one of the police officers nudges her to speak. Sarah laughs softly. The officer gets upset and says “What are you trying to prove?”

Sarah takes heed to his emotions, “good officer, good, so what’s your answer, 1 or 2?”

“I’m not a part of whatever this is.” The officer says losing his cool.

“How can you say that yet you’re here?” Monica suggests he ponders, “Plus when we said we killed those people it was true. But let me be clear, it's not because we’re killers and we wanted to. They wanted us to kill them.”

“WHO JUST WANTS TO DIE?” The second officer yelps. Monica slowly walks over to the first booth and yells into the second officer's ear.

“WHO ARE YOU TO SAVE EVERYONE AND NOT YOURSELF? … ARE WE PLAYING? 1 or 2 officer?” Monica puts the gun behind his ear.

“I don’t understand why you’re doing this. We weren’t doing anything to anyone?” The waitress exclaims.

Sarah intervenes for Monica. “See waitress, rather you want to believe it or not, you asked us to be here. You called unto us, you just didn’t pay attention to yourself when you did it.”

“I get it”, Russ adds, “We are playing. All of us sitting are just starting. You and Monica have been playing for a while. I get it. Kind of like those popular board games that require you to think ahead before making a choice” Russ finishes.

Sarah and Monica begin clapping their hands. “Russ, would you like to leave?” Sarah asks.

“I would because I wouldn’t be able to save anyone if I stayed.” Russ taps the lady and asks to leave. Sarah and Monica come over to guide Russ through the darkness. When the lady stands up she accidentally kicks one of the officers belts. Thinking the stun gun was a real gun, she picks it up and opens fire. Russ is stunned.

Monica pulls that remote from her pocket again and turns on the lights. After sitting in that darkness, the light burned the peoples eyes.

Sarah walks up to the lady and gently takes the stun gun.

Monica walks over to the officer on the outside of the booth and says, “She tried to kill that man.”

“It was an accident.” He defends. “In your game, I can prove it wasn’t” Monica puts her head down and points her gun at the lady. The lady begins begging and apologizing. She drops to her knees and inches toward Monica. Monica looks down, don’t beg me, beg yourself. Monica pulls the trigger. The second officer jumps over the booth to get to his gun. He arms it and fires. No bullets. Sarah, aiding Russ by the door, shoots him. His colleague's mouth goes agap then he repeatedly blinks.

The waitress pushes past the officer that was on the outside of the booth. She goes behind the counter, grabs her coat and a slice of pie she was saving for after work. When she gets near Monica she nods her head in a yes motion.

***************************************************************************************

“AND SCENE” Professor Malik says.

The whole class looks bewildered.

After a lingering pause the professor makes an attempt to get the students to think.

“So? What is the moralistic legend?” No one even thought to speak so he decided to rephrase the question. “Fine. Were Sarah and Monica hypocrites or saviours?”

More silence.

“Okay, let's try this, suppose everyone felt where they were and what they were doing was right. How could they be penalized? Would it be fair to penalize them?”

A student blurts out, “NO!”.

“Why?” the excited professor returns.

“It doesn’t matter if you think you’re doing the right thing. You have to actually do the right thing.”

Continuing, “and what was the right thing here? How could these two women just kill people and say, “you asked for me to be here, you are the one who wanted to die?”

The school bells ring.

The students begin packing their bags and leaving the class.

“For whom it tolls. Very well, please write 1 to 2 paragraphs in response. We will take turns reading them in our next class. Someone says something I like, I may cancel the next quiz.”

Once the class cleared out, two students dating approached the professor.

“If those people wanted to die, why did they keep going in life? The boyfriend asks.

“And did Sarah and Monica know who was going to …? The girlfriend asks.

The professor puts his hands on the shoulders of the students. He begins walking them to the door. He wants them to think about their own questions. At the door, the professor removes his glasses while taking a deep breath, “Was it Sarah and Monica’s fault, who these people were? Were they not rewarded as the saviours they wanted to be?”