Are you sending Santa or Satan a Christmas letter?
Think about how many kids misspell Santa and Satan. So, who are you really sending these lists to?
"Satan, you have extra mail today" Said this grumpy creature with an attitude while sliding the mail on Satans desk. "Yes, indeed I do. Isn't it Christmas time around now?" Satan growled annoyed. "These kids need to learn how to spell Santa correctly." Satan said rolling his eyes while sitting in his throne made of fire. Though, you may think Satan hates Christmas time, he actaully has his own way of celebrating. He even tends to decorate a bit of his office and the torture chambers. Though, he does hate having to read so much mail especially around this time since many kinds tend to misspell "Santa" for "Satan"
"Well, I guess I should get to reading and sorting." Satan mumbled to himself. He usually is able to tell which letters are for Santa and which ones are truely for him. See typically kids write letters to Santa, the envelope has messy handwritting on the back with Christmas stickers poorly applied. He'd normally make a stack, one of all the Christmas letters and the other of all letters that were directed for him. Then depending on his mood he'd either burn the Christmas letters or just send them to the North Pole (usually it's the first option).
But of course this year it was different. Once Satan finished sorting all his envelopes he started reading all the letters for his pile. He opended and it read, "Hello Satan, I'd like to exchange my soul so my new album could go viral, thanks!" Satan giggled to himself a little after reading the request, which was a bit absurd and just put it to the side. As Satan was about to pick up the next letter he quickly realized that a Christmas letter slipped in his stack. Now of course he could of just easily moved it to the other stack but something inside of him made him curious of what these kids were up to, and what they were writing to Santa. So naturally, with his red hands and black claws, he decide to open the letter.
The letter read in messy handwriting, "DeEr SatAn, It WoOd Bee VeRy nIcE IF yOu cOOd plEasE GiVE Me nEW cLoThS anD a RoOf oVer mY Hed." The kid had horrible handwriting, really, but the sentence translated to, "Dear Satan, it would be very nice if you could please give me new clothes and a roof over my head." Now you may of thought that Satan could care less about a kid but it brought him this realization of all these kids that could of had a roof over their heads if Satan just delivered the mail to the North Pole. So what did Satan do? Of course he called Santa!
Satan himself doing a good deed? Really a rare sight...but why was he doing this? No one knows that for now. Satan reached over to his telephone and dialed Santa. The phone rang for what seemed forever but eventually on the other side Satan could hear that despising greeting over the phone.
"Ho, Ho, Ho, It's Santa what can I do for you today?" Santa met Satan with.
"It's Satan" Satan replied in a montone voice.
"Ah, I see..." Santa said in a disappointed voice going from a jolly tone to a more serious voice.
"What have I told you about calling me? Especially during our busiest time of the year?" Santa lectured Satan.
"Yeah, yeah whatever...I have a question for you..."
"Do you only give out toys or do you also help out kids with no shelter and clothes?" Satan questioned Santa.
"Well, I really can't be giving out houses, you know that..." Santa sighed inbetween his pauses.
"Yes you can! There are so many kids that send you letters and ask for shelter and needed new clothes and you just brush it off? For godsake even I'm mad! And I'm the Devil. You're magic.. you can definetly make houses." Satan yelled over the phone.
"No! You don't understand I can't! It'd ruin the economy!" Santa argued over the phone.
Satan was fuming by now, he decided to hang up on Santa and take these matters into his own hands...
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