A Heartful of Love

Dancing Through Hard Love

Lesley woke up feeling low. She was really into Derek, and she had spent many months hinting at him that she liked him, but Derek had rejected her. He had told her that he wasn't ready for a relationship, though he did love her. Lesley didn't understand why. They had known each other for over five years, and they both knew that they wanted to be together.

Derek had been faced with rejection after rejection for almost three years after his ex-girlfriend Lisa had left him for another man. He blamed himself for not paying enough attention to her needs, though he knew that wasn't really what had happened. They had been glued at the hip. He bought her flowers every week, was always there when she needed to talk, and they did many things together. Their relationship was not void of affection and intimacy. He thought they had been happy together, but Lisa had decided that she was bored, and she needed more spice in her life.

This had happened with all of the women he had entered into a serious relationship with. They rejected him for other men, using the excuse that they were bored. Derek decided that women didn't like him because he was a boring person, and he vowed never to date again.

Especially not Lesley. He did not want to ruin his friendship with her by starting something that he felt would not work.

Lesley fidgeted with her hands as she was sitting by the phone, pondering whether or not to try and make the first move again. She had done this so many times before, and it did not go very well last night. She had become upset with Derek, thinking that he thought she wasn't good enough for him. Derek had explained what his history in relationships had been like, and she had tried being understanding. She had pointed out to Derek that he could not go through his whole dating life comparing all of his potential partners to his exes.

She had told him he needed to start taking risks and having fun.

Derek had revolted against the idea, by telling her that fun always led to him getting into trouble and being faced with rejection.

He didn't want to be faced with another broken heart.

"Screw it!" Lesley told herself as she picked up the phone, and nervously punched Derek's number into it.

"What have I got to lose that is worse than another rejection?" she asked herself.

She waited ten minutes on the line before Derek finally picked up the phone. Derek had been avoiding it, in case Lesley called. He didn't want another argument with her.

He was just as much afraid of losing her as a friend, as he was of entering a relationship with her.

"Hello," A tearful voice finally answered Lesley's call.

"Hi," Lesley answered.

"Are you ok?" she asked him feeling concerned as she sensed the swell of emotion in his voice.

Derek burst into tears on the phone.

"I'm sorry Lesley. I do love you. I want to be with you more than anyone I have ever wanted to be with before. I'm scared. I don't want you to see me as boring, and I don't want to lose our friendship by embarking on something that might not work." He told her in one go.

"Slow down Derek. Breathe a little," Lesley told him.

There was a moment of silence between them, as Lesley allowed him some breathing space so that he had time to get his thoughts together.

Derek wanted to hold her. He just wanted to feel her delicate body in his hands. He wanted to kiss her and tell her that his love was forever, but he couldn't.

He was too scared.

He thought about all of the good times they had spent together, and the times that Lesley had wiped his tears away when he had sat with her for hours crying because the loneliness of rejection had hurt him so much. Lesley had offered him a warm drink, and a listening ear.

She had never referred to him as a 'cry-baby,' like most of his exes had when he tried explaining his feelings. She had been there, even when he felt that he had dramatized the most minor of events. She had held him, soothed him, taken all of his feelings into account, and even made him laugh about things he felt that he shouldn't laugh about.

He loved this lady. He was sure of it.

"It's ok," Lesley reassured him in the soft, soothing tone that Derek knew so well.

It took everything out of Derek to ask the next question. He was afraid, but he was certain he had found the one.

"Do you want to go out with me tonight, so we can talk?" he asked her.

He waited for her reply, but as the loud thoughts started in his head again, he managed to convince himself that she was going to say no.

Lesley smiled, as tears streamed down her face. She had been waiting for this moment for too long, she just hoped that this time it would go right.

"I thought you'd never ask!" she replied.

Derek and Lisa went to a City Lights Restaurant. He had chosen this place on purpose because he knew that it was Lesley's favorite place to eat. It wasn't a fancy, top-of-the-range Restaurant, but they made some wickedly good Chinese food which he knew Lisa loved.

They talked intensely over their meal.

"I love you, Lesley. A day doesn't go by when I don't think about us being together," Derek told her.

Lesley smiled, and she said,

"I feel the same, Derek. We have known each other for a long time, you know. We can read each other like a book. We were made for each other."

Lesley felt a lump in her throat as she said these words. She had been trying for what felt like an eternity to try and convince Derek that they would be good together. She hated his exes for making him feel unworthy of love and destroying their chances of being together.

Derek deserved to be loved by her. He deserved to be with someone who truly loved him and didn't think he was boring.

She told him how she felt.

"I hate your exes, Derek. Everybody has moments, but they have no right to make you feel bad about yourself. You're not boring, you just like quiet times, and everybody likes those."

Derek's jaw dropped. He stared into her eyes with tears in his.

"If we were living together, would your feelings for me change?" He asked her.

"Why? Because you are an individual with individual needs and different ways of doing things?" Lesley asked, throwing a chuckle his way.

"I'll tell you what Derek. I'll stop buying the shoes I love if you stop having those moments that you call boring!" she told him.

Derek laughed. He hadn't laughed for a long time, but neither had Lesley. She felt a big black hole in her life without Derek. She hadn't wanted to do anything, not even go out with her friends for weeks because he couldn't see how much she loved him. She knew Derek loved to dance, and she wasn't a jealous person, but when they went out, he danced with all of the females that they knew, and she was afraid he wanted to pick someone else.

She hadn't been able to tell him that his rejection of her had also left her feeling bad about herself. She had been feeling punished for admitting that she was in love with him.

Punished for what his exes had put her through.

They finished their meal and walked to their favorite sitting spot. It was only a low concrete step by a fence that fenced off some flats with a hedge, but it was where they first met each other, and that made it special.

Derek did something that he wouldn't dare do in front of his exes. He put his glasses on so that he could see her properly. He was surprised when Lesley didn't judge him; instead, she told him he looked handsome in them.

Derek couldn't hold back anymore.

He gently tipped her chin up toward him and kissed her for a whole hour.

Lesley smudged her mascara under her eyes as tears fell down her cheeks. She had been waiting forever for him to kiss her, and he needed no more words.

Tonight, he had told her how he felt with just one kiss.

They walked home hand in hand, chatting about anything and everything. Lesley was shocked when Derek decided to stay the night with her instead of going back to his rundown bedsit like he usually did. When they got inside, Derek popped a question that he had wished he had done five years ago.

"Will you marry me?" he asked her, getting down on one knee and shocking her even more as he pulled a diamond wedding ring from his pocket.

Lesley stared at him for a few minutes. She didn't know what to say; to her, this had been unexpected. It had taken so long to get Derek to accept that she was in love with him.

Derek worried that she was going to reject him because of the length of pause in her reply.

"Lesley..." he began, but she interrupted him by throwing her arms around him, and planting a lengthy kiss on his lips.

"I said yes!" she told him.

They headed to the registered office four weeks later and within a year they became parents.

They went through many ups and downs in their life together, but they got through them all by talking and working together as a couple.

Derek and Lesley had no regrets about the past or their life as a married couple. Sure, there were problems but every marriage comes with those.

They weren't going to let life get in the way of those special feelings that they had for each other.

They were going to live their best life together as a married couple who truly loved each other.